Live Life To The Fullest

Welcome 2012!!

2012-01-03T13:05:00.004+05:30

Its Christmas again!! And new year again!!
And just as I was preparing myself for a lonely Christmas and a New year luckily my fears have not turned out to be true.
So this new year what are your plans? Everyone seems to be asking me that question. Now that you husband is back from his long tour are you guys planning for a trip? Or meeting up frens for a party?
And when I say no we are planning to celebrate it at home all their excitement dies away into a frown and they say with awe “Home!!!! Why such a boring plan”.....and I just shrug saying....”kya karun yaar....thodi boring hoon...”
I have never been the sort who loved crowd and parties...a celebration has always meant celebration at home for me....even if I was alone I wud have still preferred to be alone....even in college after exams when people used to party....I used to get some good food packed for myself and some goodies to munch on....get a movie from somewhere...or a book and just be to myself till late into the night.....and thats always been my way to celebrate...Basically I have always been boring...right from beginning that is hahahhaa!!
So, 2011 is come to close now....this year was special in its own way.....I happened to fulfil one of the items on my wish list...that is I mean of the wishes which I would definitely like to complete before I die kinds....and thats a Europe trip!!!! And that one trip has made this year special and memorable...
2012....resolutions...and what wud they be....not that I have ever made any resolutions that I have followed....but nevertheless keeping up the spirit of the new year let me think of a few that I would like to do in this coming year....for one I would try to get back to my blog...its been long since I have been as regular as I used to be....
Strangely, ideas of as to what to post seem to be dying by the day....either things have stopped interesting or affecting me....or I have stopped taking interest in day to day activities around me...or simply putting probably life has got more complex and the simple aspects of life seem to just go unnoticed.....simple things that used to touch you in some way that you felt like making a note of them through a post is just fading away ....but nevertheless there is no harm in making a resolution.....so here it goes...take life easy and post more often...
Secondly, I would like to get back to my reading....its been long....the count of the books that I have read in the last year has drastically dropped just like the top lines and bottom lines of the recession hit companies...bad joke I know....so I would like to get back to it....as there has always been a deep connection between reading and writing....I used to read more earlier and that had definitely helped in influencing my perspective earlier....which I need to get back at...
And what more....I look forward to this year holding a few more surprises in store for all of us...and help each one of us grow a little more ........

Wishing one and all a very happy new year 2012!!

Is it an Oxymoron!!!

2011-10-03T23:39:00.005+05:30

Its been a long time since I blogged......I feel as if I have lost the habit to even think of a post and type it down now too...

I had been cleaning my cupboards last weekend....to make space for the new suitcase...and I found my diary that I used to keep when I was just about 9 years old probably.....First of all I couldn’t recognize my own handwriting.....and it took sometime for me to realise that it was indeed me who had maintained a daily entry then and that too in ink....

And I actually laughed at what I had written.....first at my thoughts as a child....and then at the very simplicity of the thoughts....the world seemed to be such a small place then....or rather how do I put it....so simple, lucid and decipherable then. I was amazed at the clear cut definitions of “best friend” and “enemy” that I had defined in my diary then....the days that used to start with mom’s breakfast and mom making you ready for school, packing ur school bag and tiffin....and the days that used to end with ur mom narrating stories to ur little brother and you trying to imitate ur mother and narrate stories to him when he would get up in the middle of the night.....there didn’t seem to be any place for uncertainty....or rather those were the days when I used to think grown-ups have always been as grown-ups and life had been and would be perennially this way with me attending school with my little brother...with the same set of frens....with the same set of dreams and ideas...And even if there was any change...say in school or something....I used to be so excited with the idea of exploring a new place and having new frens.....

Life could be so simple then....its amazing to even imagine that once life was actually like that....it was the same you who used to decipher life in that way. And today its the same you....but life somehow doesn’t seem to be like that anymore....so many concepts have changed....infact the word concept probably has ceased to exist....my thoughts and ideas seem to be so complicated now...that even I fail to decipher them....I just don’t know how the day starts and ends now......everyone now seems to be a fren and everyone seems not to be as well....everyone seem to be caring for you and you for everyone and at the same time none care for you and you care for none........and sometimes I care to think that how come I don't care....now the only thing which is constant and certain is change and uncertainty....you seem to hate both of them yet you term life to be mundane and monotonous without them and crave for them.....And the worst thing is in the event of change you feel I wish I could just retrace back and cling to that what was there previously......

And the biggest irony is that everyone whom you speak to claims to be a person simple at heart.....not excluding me that is!!

And I am jealous….

2011-04-25T21:55:00.003+05:30

She had a tinkling laughter which was infectious
She had many looks and looked the best in any form...but I didn't want to look at her
Her laughter would just buzz in my ears and I would shudder away
As I was jealous….

She would turn her face and look at me…with child like innocence..and smile beseechingly..
And I was cognizant of her eyes following me…I knew she wasn’t ridiculing me…yet I felt she was
I wanted her to go away…her presence was eating into my mental peace…
As I was jealous….

My mind and heart were at battle over her…one wanted to follow her and one wanted to possess her…
I wanted neither…
As I was jealous….

She still stood there by my side…just at an arm’s length…seductive that she was..nothing seemed to intimidate her
Neither my ignoring her…nor my hatred for her…nor my avoidance of her…
I knew what she was thinking…yet I didn’t want to acknowledge….
As I was jealous….

She continued smiling….her eyes telling me…I am with you….you possess me as well as follow me..
Why then are you jealous….

I closed my eyes…my heart and mind echoing aloud…I know I do…but I can only see you in others…not in me as my possession ….
whereas I had struggled so hard to make you mine…. And you had gone to them just at the wink of the eye…
And I am jealous….

She laughed loudly the same crystal clear tinkling infectious laughter and said
And my dear the others that you are talking about see me in you
And that’s why they are jealous….

...After a long time

2011-03-08T12:14:00.002+05:30

It had got late and I was in a hurry to get home. My mind all occupied I started walking down the road in the darkness. I was still thinking about that report….I was unable to put my mind at ease…I just wantedto find the solution to that problem…why weren’t the nos. adding up…where cud I have gone wrong in the Financial model….probing my mind for the umpteenth time since morning I waved my hand mechanically to stop a cab…the words Wadala came automatically without any thot as if it was a reflex reaction whenever a cab stopped…and I got into the cab…

Just then my phone rang…I knew my mother had to tell me something…she had called me in the afternoon also…I cudn’t remember what it was…I just knew that it was not more significant than thinking of a solution to my problem rt now…so I ignored the call…conveniently postponing to deal with whatever she wanted to tell me later in the night…once I put my mind to ease…..

The cab driver asked me “Kahan jana hai madam” and I again one more reflex reaction “Wadala station bhaiyya”. And I again started thinking…..
Cab Driver: Aaj der ho gayi madam
Me: Kya bhaiyaa?
Cab Driver: Maine poocha madam aaj der ho gayi
Me: Haan bhaiyaa kya karein !!
Cab: Bank mein kaam kartey ho madam
Me: Haan bhaiyaa (Reflex )
Cab: Kaun sa
Me: Kya bhaiyya
Cab: Maine poocha madam kaun sa bank
Me: XXX
Cab: Par madam woh bank thodi na hai is bldng mein
Me: ??????
Cab: Woh bank toh Nariman point mein hai. Acha aapka matlab XXX hai…woh toh investment bank hai
Me (a little surprised with his GK): haan bhaiyya wohi
Cab: Tabhie madam aap itna der tak rehti ho …
Me: Haan bhaiyaa kya karein!
Cab: Aur abhie bhi kaam ke bare mein soch rahe ho
Me: Ha ha haan bhaiyaa
Cab: Aapko pata hai madam meri ek bitiya hai…aap hi ki jitni…who padhayi mein bahut aage hai…ek wakt ki roti kha ke padhaya hai madam maine usko….CA banna chahti hai…par madam main nahi chahtaki woh CA bane
Me: Kyun bhaiyaa…aaj kal CA ka toh bahut demand hai?
Cab: Haan madam demand toh hai…us se kya hota hai…CA karegi toh aap hi ki tarah kahin kisi bank mein ghusegi aur roz der raat tak kaam karti rahegi…na ghar ke bare mein sochegi na khud ke bare mein…chain nahi milega usey…paise se kya karna madam…khane ko do roti chahiye…who toh meri bitiya lecturer ya professor banke bhi kama sakti hai…

Meri beti agar professor ban gayi kal ko maan lo madam mere jaise dus baap usko aashish denge….dua denge…ki meri bitiya unke bachon ki zindagi sawaar rahi hai….CA ban jane se kya hoga…meri bitiyako char log gaali denge din mein…ke unke Company mein nuksaan ho gaye…kaise bhi zhol zhal karke phaiyda karwao…aur nahi kar payi toh shareholder gaali denge…and kar diya toh auditor gaali denge…kyun madam yeh sab baimaani ka kaam karo…chalo maan liya baimaani nahi karegi par kaun sa kisika upkaar kar legi…na khud ka upkaar karegi na doosron ka….kyun madam sahi kaha na?

My stoppage had come till then and I got down from the cab…paid the cab driver the fare and walked down to my building from the society compound gate…on the way I called back my mother….

Elusive as ever!!

2010-11-12T19:36:00.000+05:30

She got up slowly from her slumber and walked across the bedroom towards the window….a gust of wind…some fresh air is all that she needed to put her conflicting thoughts to ease…She glanced at her reflection in the window pane and stood staring into the eyes of the image infront of her …she peered into them hoping that she would find the answers to her confusion…but they seemed to betray her just like her heart….

She wondered…what is that she wanted…she had everything that she had ever desired for…she remembered her yearning in the past for that one place she wanted to be in…and today she was there…very much there…yet she was confused again…why…she wanted to know..could somebody anybody give her some solace …

She retraced her past again and again…hoping against hope that she would remember just one instance any one instance which could stand testimonial to the fact that the present is what she wanted and the present is what she should be in looking ahead into future and not turning back and retracing at what has passed….her mind wanted to look ahead think of future yet her heart returned to the past…her mind wanted to find a logic to draw her away from the past, term the present as advancement over the past…yet her heart didn’t seem to agree…

There was something in the past that her heart still yearned for…it seemed so ironic to her…that routine that mundane life that she always had wanted to run away from ..her heart seemed to want to go back to the very same routine life….she had thought she wanted a change…a variety…she wondered if at all she went back to that same comfort zone of hers would she again crave for that change she had yearned for then…would again life seem like a routine to her….would she be contended….or would her heart again start a new craving this time….a craving for what she had left and gone….

She looked at her image in the mirror again…And smiled to herself….thinking that the question of what if would always be there….and its only when she brings her heart and mind to explore why not that is when she will be contended probably….Happiness and contentment are much more elusive than you imagine them to be always…May be to accept that they are elusive is where lies the trick…

Love or Arranged?!!

2010-09-01T22:28:00.002+05:30

It was a bright sunny day just about perfect for a good outing and the icing on the cake was that it was a Sunday….She not being that adventurous a person was first time set to go on one and was a little nervous…with a few inhibitions in mind she walked towards the lunch area of the pre-decided restaurant……pre-decided as the adventure was planned…a blind date…and as she was the kind who never believed that such adventures were of any good the adventure’s set out had to be planned by the common people in the game…yes a game that is what it seemed to her…an adventurous game…

Yet she tried to walk confidently not showing her nervousness….trying to camouflage her inhibitions..she had yielded in to their arguments and had decided to willingly give it a chance sportingly…and there she was dressed in white…not her favorite color but it kind of provided some solace and calmed her ….her urge to just become invisible or disappear from there….She just took a deep breathe and then her consciousness of her racing heart beat seemed to subside and she walked right over to the place he was seated….leaving the formalities to the common people…..

A round of introductions and the niceties exchanged…her eyelids however strangely seemed too heavy for her to raise and take a look at her blind date…she sat there silent her long eyelashes grazing her blushing cheeks….was she blushing….the questions seemed obscure….

What seemed like ages she sat there with her head down…a light sound playing in the background and she conscious of every little thud that her fork seemed to make on her plate…..swallowing food seemed so laborious by the minute…yet the few giggling cheerful known faces sitting close by still provided immense strength…..why had she ever yielded in to their arguments…it felt like she was paying the price to all that now…..as she was waiting for that dreadful moment when she would be left alone with her date…..how come all this sounds so romantic in movies was something that she cudn’t comprehend…

And the dreadful moment arrived…the familiar faces left and she felt as lost as a drop in the ocean…she noticed that the background track changed to her favourite score from the movie Amar Prem and just when she noticed she heard him say “Is this your favorite song?” and taken aback that she was she could only mutter a “yes”…”Even Mine” he said….And she wondered what would they converse on next..what in world they could talk about……and she awaited for that boring familiar answerless question “So, tell me something about yourself”…..but what came was “ You know once when I was on a tour sailing to one of the ports in Korea the same song was playing somewhere from one of the cabins in the ship “…..”How come? A Hindi song”…..”Yeah that’s what puzzled me so I just followed the tune and walked towards the cabin only to discover an African cleaner boy listening to the tune”…”African?”…”Yeah, when I asked him he explained that his father was an Indian and his mother an African and his father always used to play the song for his mother while cooking”…”So, did he understand the song”….”I don’t think he understood the meaning…but probably he understood the essence of the song”….”Nice”….”Have you got a chance to watch the movie”…”Yeah a very memorable and intense movie to say the least….a movie which depicts so many nuances and angles to the word so commonly quoted that is love”……”The best part that I liked in the movie was the way they portrayed the female cast…her character…the strong will power and emotions…the selflessway in which she carried out things…..”

She wondered how easily they talked….is this what is called frequency match….And he interrupted “So what was your take on the blind date thing”….”Well, frankly I was not game for it”….”Ok, taken. So, now u r cursing me for giving you a bad time or are u comfortable”…..”Oh no no ofcourse I am comfortable”…”So what makes you think a blind date is not a good idea”…”Well, I feel blind dates don’t help you know someone”….”And why is it so”…”Because one day isn’t enough to know a person”….”So a few hrs from now when we part you wouldn’t know me”…..”Ok well not as much as I would like to”…”Hmmm …so would you like some coffee”…”yeah sure”….

Coffee seemed so right for the occasion…….hot steaming coffee…just the smell of it seems to revive any discussion….And just when she thought this he said “ Yeah even I love the smell of coffee”…she smiled wondering that how easily he seems to read her mind…and she allowing him to read her mind too…she realized that she had shed her earlier inhibitions already by then…smiling, laughing, talking didn’t seem like an effort now….probably time is that’s why regarded with so much esteem…time indeed sets everything….And he smilingly said “You know what coffee reminds me of”…”College nightouts and friends hangouts”…”Yeah exactly”……”It was so much fun then…it was in college that I had my first coffee”….”Oh! I used to have coffee at home but coffe got redefined in college”…..”Yeah especially the night canteen coffee in the cold winters….we used to just take a cup each and sit on the verandah and our imaginations and discussions just soared high with every sip of the coffee”…..”Yeah big career discussion, life , partners, dreams what not we used to discuss”…”Yeah and heated masala gossips too…and cursing lectures, exams, profs…just abt anything”….”Girls love gossips isn’t it”…”Oh c’mon it’s a good source of entertainment…just like guys who like discussing abt girls bio datas all the time”…”Ha ha yeah that’s true…it sure is a good source of entertainment for guys”….

“So did you go on any coffee dates”….”I told you I don’t believe in dates”……”yeah yeah I was just kidding….”….”But its strange how books always need coffee to go with it…as in if u r studying u require coffee to keep awake and if u r reading coffee just seems the right thing to go with it”….”yeah now that u have said it even I realize…but then the purpose of the coffee here in both cases differ…one is for a boring purpose and one is to rejuvenate you”….”Ha ha yeah”……”But any day I would prefer a good novel with a coffee than a movie which come to think of it doesn’t require any coffee…even then”…..”yeah me too…especially the non-adventurous fiction books…like say the Fountainhead types just goes so well “…”yeah even I was thinking of the same book”….”Yeah it’s a great book but a little complicated to take in all at once and you require some rejuvenation in between…”….”Yeah, all Ayn Rand’s books are like that…but at the end of the book your whole perspective changes…you feel like a transformed person”……”Yeah the best way to describe her books….the complicated way in which she puts across subtle things is what is the essence of the book” …….”Yeah like the Fountain head…the essence is to just strongly believe and stick to your ideals without any regard to how others want you to be or perceive you….a simple message but put across in a maze of complicated personalities like Dominique and others…..I guess what Ayn Rand wants to put across is the most simplest things in life are the most complicated when executed and followed and are made to look unachievable by the society”……”Very well said….”…She smiled and thought to herself oh God did I get carried away and looked outside the window of the restaurant and realized that darkness had already set in….time had just flown past and she had not realized…..

He smiled again that reassuring smile and said “Yeah, even I didn’t realize the time…I think we should get going now”…….”Yeah, you have a flight to catch today isn’t it”…”Yeah, I should just make it to the airport if I leave now”…..”Yeah it will take about an hr from here”…”I got to pick up a magazine on the way too…flights are really boring…I really miss the good old train days of childhood when I could spend the entire day just looking at the scenery outside”…”Yeah travelling then meant the means and not the destination unlike these days”….”Yeah it does sound ridiculous when people say they are on a break to travel and look for flights to save on time and spend as much to see the same scenery at the end of the say which they could have very well seen on their way itself”……”Ha ha yeah I am realizing it only when you said it now”……….

“So nice to meet you then….sorry you are…” he said

And she realized for the first time in the entire conversation of the day that she never asked his name…she only knew his nick name…..and neither did he…..it struck her for the second time in the day that he was a stranger...but was he still a stranger...

….I see many people posing the question of whether its an arrange marriage or love marriage these days to others….And more so if the answer comes as arranged a dismayed look on the opposite party’s face…It really puzzles me as to why an arrange marriage is considered less adventurous or less romantic ….aren’t all arrange marriages just blind dates and love at first sights come to think of it…..so doesn’t that make it score higher…

Illusions are they....

2010-08-25T19:30:00.000+05:30

Why is it that it is always the past which seems to be more appealing than the present. Is it because there is no uncertainty in the past….its something that you have gone over and triumphed over all the ups and downs……but wasn’t it the the very past which had always pushed us to be what we are in the present today……and will today’s present when it is past someday seem as dream like…..

When I was a kid , I remember my father had got transferred to a district and had to report immediately. I didn’t want to part from my friends…..I had settled down comfortably in the city school and a district school didn’t at all lure me…I cried helplessly when I was dragged away to the district. The first day I had stepped in the district school I was disgusted looking at the simple appearance of the school with no extra frills and no prim uniformed students walking meekly in a queue….I found utter chaos everywhere to my horror and clinged to my father denying to be part of what seemed like a rowdy like crowd….

But my woes went unheard…and all that my father said before leaving me to the mercy of these troublemakers was “wait and see your memory of this school will always stay close to your heart”….

I walked alone along the corridor leading to my class wistfully looking back at my father again and again till he disappeared around the corner and I was all alone….I muttered a silent prayer before entering the class and stepped in shivering a little in my nervousness…..and as soon as I had stepped in the class surprisingly fell silent with a single murmur passing around which sounded like “new joinee…new joinee” and after that the entire class was at the doors to welcome me…..each house (which was allotted based in the row you were seated in) wanted me to be a part of theirs….everybody wanted to know my name and my mother tongue and all other details…..I was offered every little goodie each one possessed ……I was offered notes of all the classes I had missed…..and some of the students even offered to write notes on my behalf and update me on all the classes I had missed as the exams were soon approaching…….any teacher who entered the class was importantly informed about the new joinees arrival….and even the neighbouring sections students paid a vist in the recess to gain acquaintance……such was the welcome and the days that followed just sailed past like a dream…

Little did it matter…that the students didn’t know English….discipline did exist but the fancies of a spic and span uniform with shoes to go with was not of prime concern…..a lot of creativity existed in the school and was encouraged equally…..homeworks were checked but a small mark on the cover of the notebook didn’t create a raucous….the warmth of the students seemed to override the shabby building and the broken English…..Teachers were not looked upon like Hitler’s army…and the memory of that school sure did remain very dear to my heart…..

And when I compared the royal treatment that I got here with that of the city school I was in where I had entered meekly as a mice and no one had even noticed me….some of the teachers even had not noticed that there was a new face in the class…when I asked for notes of classes that I had missed to the students around me I was ridiculed…..my heavily accented broken English was a source of entertainment to the teachers and students…I still remember the teacher who knew that I felt embarrassed because of the constant giggles when I spoke in English and she always loved to make me read lessons to the class and become a mockery….spic and span uniforms, neatly covered books, huge playground and freshly painted building…..but it missed the charm of the district school….no human warmth……

Now, why I got reminded of this today is because of an incident that happened in the train today. A girl standing near me was complaining to her friend about her IT job and how she detests it but for the friends she had made in her job….and that’s why she wanted to pursue higher studies and go another college experience and a better job….a better job meaning higher bucks, more responsibility and less of every other thing which seem significant only when they aren’t there any longer…

And it just made me think frills and fancies lure us so much that we always seem to want to leave the warmth of our present and follow them but little do we realize that when at leisure we ponder its only that past which was simple and dull that it had seemed then is what forms our memory….but alas its too late now to return…..because a better tomm is as much uncertain as the certain good yesterday….present is just a shuttle between the two….pondering on one and unable to compromise with the other….

HFD

2010-08-04T22:11:00.000+05:30

Aug,1^st, 2010

Guys,

Happy Friendship's Day :)!!

For K please someone send some "cute" pupies, flowers, plants anything from my side...A plz do the honors

To R and P each one please contribute INR 1 as they are in need of funds desparately due to negative balance in their salary accounts

To S each one please send a mail with content written as "S Reply to the group Now" in huge black 32 size font all caps

To SV, SP, N and M each one send a flower for their computers to rest in peace (which have long passed away due to overwork)

And to me each one send a nice reply and a hug :)

Friendship’s Day….Every year this day comes it always takes me back in memory to the day when as a kid we had first discovered that such a day existed…..so excited we were that we decided to make handmade gifts for each other…..it was all NS’s idea and we were just too excited to implement it…although it wasn’t exactly a surprise gift with the recipient completely aware that he/she would be receiving a gift but the content of the gift was supposed to be a secret….the enthusiasm and efforts that each of us had put in to make those lovely gifts was greeted with equal enthusiasm by the recipient in guessing them and opening them…that had been celebration of my first Friendship’s Day two decades ago…..

As days passed the importance of this day had only slowly faded with time …hand made gifts were replaced with readymade friendship bands and redymade tit bits….neverthless there was still a day to celebrate…remember your friends…contact them and be glad to hear to their happy voices and wishes on this day….those were the good old days of graduation

When my friends and I had joined our first job the day was greeted with wishes being SMSed and mailed to each other….a convenient and shortcut way adopted but nevertheless again it did bring a smile on your face to see a nicely typed or an emotions filled message in your inbox right on the first Sunday of the August month..

Then came the days of Orkut when an application made life even easier…at one click the message of Happy friendship’s Day could be posted on all the scrapbooks of the friends added in your profile…

Today, in 2010 about 20 years later from the day I first had known and celebrated this day …..life has become even easier as I see the status messages of all profiles on facebook having the message ‘HFD’…..

And today as I retrace my memory and smile remembering all those friendship days that had passed I only smile thinking what if my mail had not brought back any replies atleast maybe I can rejoice and be satisfied by telling myself it probably brought a smile on all those faces who decided not to shift delete my mail without reading it as it wasn’t any critical official mail……

Probably a day will come next when there will be an application which by itself will send messages or change the status of your online profiles when such days arrive and on b’days, festivals etc..life would become even more easier…….or is such an application already there and I am not aware….otherwise may be someone can take this as a new cool networking business proposition and make money out of it …….or probably I too will resort to the easier way of just putting the three letters ‘HFD’ on my facebook profile and save myself from bringing frowns on all those faces who cursed me for cluttering their inboxes…..

(I know you must be nodding your head at me after reading this post and thinking ‘grow up my dear…grow up’…well! I can’t agree with you less…I have also been telling myself the same thing all this while)

Always the same

2010-08-04T22:09:00.000+05:30

Over the last one month I have been reading a lot…it feels great to be back to my good old hobby of reading I must admit. And each of the books that I read were like gems in themselves. I started off with Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead and then went on to Harry potter book 5 i.e The Deathly Hallows and then read Cane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer and finally I am just done with Leap of Faith by Danielle Steel…Four different books…with distinct themes…and four different experiences altogether….

Especially the book ‘Leap of Faith’ which discusses about a little girl’s family home in great detail just somehow took me to my childhood days when my cousins and I used to spend our summer holidays together in my maternal grandmother’s house…..My father being in a job with frequent transfer orders the only home that in true terms I can recall as a family home for me has been my grandparents place which always takes me to those childhood memories whenever I visit the place….and just as the book describes I am not sure it is really so or if it just appears to us as such because our memory of the place is so strong that even after so many years when I pay a visit to my grandparents the house still appears to be just the same..And I can still visualize all of us running around in the corridors bringing the whole house down with the racquet created by us…..with spankings from our mothers…and our grandmother protecting us always being on our side…all the delicacies prepared by my grandmother being equally distributed among us kids to the very last bite otherwise the raucous that we created…the innumerable weddings that had taken place in that house and it had meant as many rasgullas and sweets as our hearts pleased for all we kids…..with us feeding every single bit of paper found in the house to the domesticated cattle through the window railings…..the garden by the house that seemed like waiting for us kids to trample down it every summer and weed out every possible plant most religiously and get spanked which didn’t seem to matter after the triumph of our achievement…..And my sweet grandmother as always greeting us sitting on that very window looking onto the road awaiting earnestly for our arrival with the aroma of all the delicacies cooked all over the place that unfailingly invite you right near the cranky gate….

Some places just seem to never get old enough to be trampled by time in your memory and each time you visit them the place along the memories only seem to renew and one such place that the book talks just makes you think of one such place as this. I wonder if our kids will ever have such a place that can form their memory which is permanent and not changing and just stays intact with time in this everchanging world in this era…

Jai Ho!!

2010-06-28T22:50:00.001+05:30

I read this article the first time without any association…the second time I read I thot c’mon don’t be a snob …and the third time I read it..I was like..yeah if not all perhaps I too agree to most of it..

Its true that how much ever we claim to be patriotic and feel for our country we do feel impatient and irritated when we are asked forcibly to stand for the national anthem before every movie that we go to see…so much so that I have seen people and I for that matter have felt relieved umpteen no. of times when we reach for a movie late and discover that all that singing and standing drama is over..

Me and my husband happened to go to a restaurant yesterday to celebrate our second wedding anniversary…no sooner had we finished our soup and starters that a huge group entered the restaurant celebrating the birthday of an aged person…and the birthday celebration instead of being in honor of the person in question was a kind of promotion for some trust …speeches about life, religion, country, blessings of God on the trust and so on….our perfect dinner didn’t seem any more perfect now…instead of enjoying the food we wanted to just gulp down something and escape from all those speeches…And to come to think of it had we stood up and opposed to the noise we would have been beaten up black and blue not only by the people from the trust but may be even by the public for interfering with a sacred function like that in praise for our country, religion and what not…..

But it makes me ponder…if people have so much time and patience to attend such gathering or sit through such speeches and promotions in the corner of a restaurant and not oppose for being disturbed how come all this patience disappears when they are driving on the roads or boarding local trains for that matter. If you choose to drive by the highway from Navi Mumbai to Mumbai Suburbs in the night…definition of night starting from say 9 P.M or so…you definitely skip one or two heart beats hoping to reach home in one piece…the vehicles just zoom past in zig zag ways with no signal whatsoever…nobody even casts so much as a glance at the traffic signal forget about following it…and the worst being that even if you intend to follow the traffic signal you are forced to move ahead due to blaring honks at you for not moving on…Sometimes you even wonder if by any chance you are invisible to other people driving past you conveniently without taking any notice…totally oblivious…I understand if someone tells me that they are selfish..they don’t care for others…but I fail to understand…the least one can and should do is care for his/her own life…and how is that not happening..

Service rules…I thot of writing an entire post on it someday..I don’t understand when an Airtel/Vodafone sales executive asks me with utmost surprise “How is it possible ma’am…someone should be at your house on a working day…How can no one be at home”…And with even more surprise “How can you not have a middle name”…I don’t understand how the same stringent rules keep sending you bills and don’t disconnect your connection if your address verification has failed…and how do people who just give their friends addresses or are kept in their company hotels get their residence address and everything verified and get away with things so easily….And I better not get into the way passports and driving licenses are made….The worst was when my mother had to make her passport…she is a housewife and in those days marriages were not followed by marriage certificates and no she didn’t have a driving license or a ration card in her name….so all rules imply that she can’t have a passport…unless some bribery is paid to avoid all these questions which lead to one another without having any solution..

And there is more….the eve-teasing, the rude way in which people behave, the bloated egos everywhere…..can we blame it all on education…even if we do…then how come education in India is not anywhere near any kind of development except for the quota issues and issues and debates on building more IITs and IIMs….but the question remains…we may build more institutions…we may have more reservations for every caste, creed, gender….but what will it all come to when the sole imparters of education are frustrated beings targeting their frustration at the students ….all those who have gone for higher education in India will definitely agree that those two/one year of PG had been a torture and nothing else…..and all those who had been preys to the various universities for their graduation not being able to get some good pvt institutions or the IITs and escape the torture…especially those who didn’t want to do engg and MBA and follow the Bandwagon and had different career interests…my salute to them…(more here , a blog post by someone who was a prey) …In most of Indian institutions more than half the professors are uninterested souls who could do nothing better and landed up in the field of education for a steady income…the rest are those who consider being in the profession of education as a fixed income source and all their attention is how to bag bigger bucks through consultancies…..just a handful of them are those who are wholly and solely dedicated to the field and the entire country is thriving on that handful……It could be because education is a field claimed to be the most important and at the same time the least paid…..hence the least sought for Job in our country…..

So, does the blame shift to politicians then….or the bureaucrats ….aren’t they just people like us…from our community…they are bestowed with some power which they misuse and so do we…How can we blame only them when starting from a pan wala… reducing the content of the packets and selling things in loose as well as selling the original packet at the same price, to big business tycoons…. playing around with their financials cheating on the shareholders,to students in colleges…. copying in exams , plagiarism and buying degrees, to employees who stealthily make use of company resources to make free STD/ISD calls all misuse their power to the extent they can…and everybody thumps their chest and raise their hands when songs like “Jai Ho” play…and also go to the extent of creating a hue and row over as to why did the movie Slumdog Millionaire show India in such a degraded form ….

So no use blaming…no use complaining about people spitting, passing urine and littering the place because even you have thrown wrappers and papers umpteen no. of times outside on to the roads from your window because you didn’t want to litter the car…No use blaming the person standing next to you for disturbing you talking loudly about his her pvt life on the mobile phone because even you too do the same may be without even realizing whom you are disturbing..

No wonder…the few individuals who cudn’t take it any more decided to leave to other countries and ofcourse there are those who escaped the torture to pursue their career in other countries and started calling themselves foreigners referring to Indians as “you Indians” instead of “we” and bloating their egos further for earning in foreign currency…upholding India…upholding that very rotten attitude because of which we are in this state….the self pride and false ego… which all of us are probably moulded to develop here taking us and our country only to its peril…Yes, all of us have bloated egos…each one to a varying extent…that’s why we see scenes like some customer shouting on the top of their voices…ill-treating… infront of everyone at the waiters, servants, airhostesses, receptionists, subordinates …anybody and everybody who come below them in the economic hierarchy with or without there being a fault in the first place….that feeling of power kind of gives us an empowerment which we need from time to time to feed our ego so as to be able to take the blow from our superiors…and the irony is everyone keeps complaining “Nothing can happen in India without yelling”!!

All this only implies…we need a change…a huge change…change in the attitude of people…because although the economy of our country might be in the developing state we the people are still in the under developed state….And for the country to get into a developed state the people first have to go to that stage……and that will take ages …may be a lot more generations to come ….to see India develop in the true sense someday when people really and truly are happy standing for their patriotic national anthem playing before them…otherwise India will reduce to the state of villages…just like people had migrated from villages to cities in search of a better life everybody will migrate outside the country to live a better life and give an easier life to their children…

The Sea....

2010-06-16T22:22:00.000+05:30

It being just the start of the week…and work coming to a drag…me being trapped in the four walls of a huge hall with a miniscule cubicle for myself on the 18^th floor of a brick and mortar cement sky scrapper….I cast a melancholy glance at the sea giving up on it being another overloaded work day…. As I look at the endless sea stretching to an unknown boundless end to infinity…as far as my eyes carry me…when I look out of the window of my office cubicle…I see…

A 15 yrs old boy with a boat in one hand and a fishing net in other…walking towards the sea in the heavy rain….He looks at the sea and waits for a second to catch his breath and then looks towards the sky…his eyes wistful…looking at the vast black threatening clouds looking down towards him challenging him on his expedition with his life on bet…He raises his hand as if to signal to the clouds that he accepts the challenge or may be calling on to the mercy of the Gods for the day….and thrusts his boat into the water….

The sea seems to imbibe in him a new sense of hope…… and happiness to be engulfed by that very sense of hope which seem to flow towards him just like the ripples coming in the form of waves…flowing towards the shore….He steps into the boat with the net in one hand and starts rowing into the sea…..a heavy ghust of wind with full fury sweeps his fishing net past the boat…but he still clings on to the net as if he is clinging on to the only morsel of food of the day….The gigantic waves of the sea rock his boat dangerously…yet he continues his fishing unperturbed ….his face holding a grave expression just like the sea…his body wet with the garrulous rain…yet he seems to be determined and very casual as if it was just another day…Hrs go by and every time my gaze goes towards the sea I cast my eyes on his thin body laboriously fighting against the tides….. As the day progresses I see many more young boys of his age occupied with the same task as different points in the sea…and of all them seem to be chatting gleefully waving towards each other…blissfully oblivious of the heavy downpour...or the high tides…

As dusk sets in and I cast another look at the sea sipping coffee I find them all heading towards the shore…maneuvering their boats towards the shore…helping each other…smiling…tired but happy wither their bounty for the day…and my eyes search for the 15yr old boy…his body again running past up and down the rocky bank of the sea pulling each and every boat onto the bank…after ushering everyone to the rocks on the bank and anchoring the boats I see all of them gather by a huge rock…and the boys collecting something from the unmistakable 15 yr old boy…which seems like they distributing the bounty among themselves so that each one gets his morsel for the day…..

I finish my coffee and look ashamed at my reflection on my computer’s screen and rebuke myself for being so thankless and taking things that have been gifted by luck and fate to me for granted…

Just like the gleaming eyes of the boy who is now standing near the shore probably wishing hard that the next wave is big enough to flow over the rocks and come till the point where he is standing waiting for the waves to touch him…and his excitement and longing growing with every wave that touches him…I perceive life which we all anticipate would fulfill our yearnings with growing needs and expectations each time the waves of life touch us…..

And just like the boy who is not dismayed and doesn’t give up when a wave narrowly misses to hit the rocks and wash his feet….and is still looking towards the sea with full of optimism and hope…..I feel that we all can still strive to be happy…....boundlessly…just like the sea which seems to know no bounds…unperturbed by the innumerous ripples that keep rising and falling ..one after the other…repeatedly…As the boy still stands calmly…undisturbed..and still serene …the ripples only magnifying his inner strength ….

And That Makes Your Day :)....

2010-06-07T19:49:00.003+05:30

A call right in the morning from home from your father just to hear to your voice before the start of the day...

A mail in your inbox from your best friend saying “Grrrrrrrrrrrrr....MAILLLLLL”

A nice cup of hot creamy coffee served by the office boy with a smile telling “Ma’am aapke liye aaj special coffee”

A small little unexpected hug by a cute little girl rushing to her school colliding into your legs all of a sudden

An elderly aunty whom you have offered place to sit asking you in the local train “Beta aapka naam kya hai...aap bilkul meri poti (granddaughter) ki tarah dikhti ho”

A taxi driver in the morning assuring you by telling “arey madam bilkul mat pareshaan hoyiye...hum aapko 9 ‘0 clock local aane se pehle traffic se nikal lenge”

Just in time to glance at the morning arati while heading towards the gate to catch the taxi...

A toothless smile from a baby while you are stuck in the traffic

And a mail from Blogbharati stating that “we would love to accept your application and welcome you as our new contributor in our team” :) :)

Did we hear India is going to be a superpower soon….

2010-06-04T21:36:00.002+05:30

You are hurrying in the morning to catch the taxi parked infront of your building to the station when someone decides to give you an instant shower with leftover water in their mugs being used to water the plants in their balcony ….which they ofcourse found was convenient enough to be thrown out of the balcony than take the pain of walking down till the sink in their kitchens and disposing it off…

You barely make it to the station and are scurrying for the local when a lady decides to conveniently spit on you instead of the spit bin just about few steps away from her…

You reach the platform and clean urself with the little water that you carried for yourself to drink in the 1 hr long journey in the humidity of Mumbai to your office and wait for the train trying to get over your disgust when you see a man relieving himself standing in the public platform…infront of the entire world of people there…right onto the railway tracks…inspite of the public bathrooms put up on every platform of the station..

You finally see the train arrive …and to ur utter disbelief you see that the ladies compartment has a lot of sitting space available with just five ladies standing…without stopping to think as to why these ladies have opted to stand inspite of so much room available..you barge into the compartment only to realize some sacred soul had considered of all places on earth the ladies compartment auspicious enough to bless it with his holy shit…

So, finally it dawns upon you as to why those ladies preferred to stand instead and choose a safe place for urself far enough to block the sight of the sacred blessing….and just when you are trying to distract urself …suddenly a heap of thrash is thrown in from nowhere into the compartment ..which is because someone living in the slums situated directly over the hollow bridge through which the local train passes is letting out his frustration of having to accommodated a screeching train every half an hr right through his home…and decides to avenge by atleast throwing garbage at it daily when it passes by…and so the rest of the journey passes by by hearing to a tragedy queen's tragic life as background music .....non-stop right into ur ear....but ofcourse on her very personal mobile ph.....

So, did we hear India was soon to be a superpower….well, I want to know who is that super optimistic soul who thinks so…and want to bow before him and salute his optimism…

On Humanity Grounds……

2010-06-03T19:55:00.000+05:30

The other day a very interesting incident occurred which left me with a smile when I was boarding the 6:15 P.M local on the way to my house. I have been smiling at the thought of that incident ever since it has occurred so I thought I might as well post about it…

It was the usual rush at CST…the regular hustle bustle and the regular feeling of asking the question to yourself “By any chance does the whole of the population of India reside on this platform”…anyway, after the usual pulling, pushing and tugging I reached the platform for the harbor line train…..Now, after a lot many life threatening incidents that I have happened to experience previously I have made a policy to stand as much away from the platform rail line on which the train is announced to arrive shortly rather than do the opposite as per the usual junta’s policy…so like every day I stood as much away as I could so as to not fall prey to the rushing of people for the other train due to arrive on the adjacent platform…And as usual the train arrived and before it could halt there was the usual scurrying of the ladies and girls and the usual pushing, pulling, screaming , wrestling etc for the ladies compartment…

Now on that day it so happened that in the usual struggle to get into the train first so as to occupy a seat a young girl who seemed like a college going girl in her early twenties happened to be fast enough to push through the crowd and hold the railing of the moving train just before it halted…trying to board it…in that very moment a lady who seemed to be in her early fifties happened to grab this young girl by the collar of her t-shirt and pulled her back to the station platform and tried to get past her….now by the time anyone of them could succeed the rest of the ladies crowd happened to get near the train and in the maze it so happened that that young girl although a little taken aback managed to get through the crowd and got a seat for herself whereas the lady although ahead was a little too slow to defeat the crowd…

Once everybody settled comfortably in the train…some having accomplished their desire of attaining a place and some having failed miserably with a frown on their faces…a few other give ups like me walked into the train and leisurely stood at a chosen comfortable place…now , it was the young girl’s turn to take her revenge and satisfy her ego so she addressed the lady who had pulled her back by her collar who was standing rt beside her clutching to a handle…and the conversation was as follows :

Girl : Hey you

Lady : Yes?

Girl : Aapne mujhe dhakka kyun diya

Lady : For the same reason why you pushed everyone and were standing ahead of the crowd

Girl : Sorry!!??....For what reason?

Lady : Simple, because even I needed a seat in the train

Girl : Oh, is it so?! So, u thot u could push me past without caring if I would fall off the platform onto the track…what if I were your daughter would u have still done the same?…Even on humanity grounds?

Lady : No, I wouldn’t have…because if you were my daughter you wouldn’t have kept sitting while you see your mother who is double ur age stand for 1 hr for the whole way…on humanity grounds…

Girl : Neither would my mother have pushed me off the platform and left me to die under the rail tracks…valuing her comfort more than anyone’s life..

And the conversation ended there. …The girl continued to sit though and the lady stood all the way…with a safe conclusion that Humanity word has ceased to exist…..and it looks like everyone is aware of its non-existence as well…

Not an Idealist….But The Very Imperfect Her…

2010-06-02T19:23:00.000+05:30

These days when I come back from office and reach home after an hr of hectic (or do I call it adventurous just to motivate myself) travelling and open the door to an empty flat with a sofa set and a dining table in the hall to greet me…I have this urge for some/any human voice to be heard in the empty flat…and so after freshening up myself I invariably switch on the TV but only to my dismay….and I am really amused I must say by these serials which keep coming on every channel now a days…

I mean you switch on the TV and you start browsing for something worthy to watch…and in that little amount of time you spend in browsing or waiting for the advertisements to get over so as to discover which movie is being screened in that particular channel you end up knowing what is happening in which “saans bahu “ serial…..First of all I wonder whom are these serials being screened for…does anyone actually have the time and patience to watch them…even the housewives I don’t think should be watching them out of interest…may be out of sheer frustration as nothing apart from the serials seem to be screened on any of the channels…..and the most atrocious thing being that even news channels have started with giving updates on these serials…as if the trailers being screened 24/7 on every channel were not enough to feed us with enough unwanted updates……

Now the other thing that amuses me is…even if you give up in frustration and as I said just for some human voice to be heard in the house which is not speaking of bomb blasts and train derailments or cricket debacles even if u decide to put up with some nonsensical serial…what you end up watching is an adarsh sanskari bahu….respecting elders…respecting values and culture…who knows in and out of Bhagwadgita and can recite the same at the drop of the hat….who is next only to nightingale in singing bhajans..who by the way knows singing….and cooks finger licking food to everyone’s liking…remembering everyones tastes …who plans for b’days and weddings and all kinds of functions beforehand with a Giga Byte sized memory card fit in her head to remember all the dates…who is the favorite of the entire khandan kaka, mama, dada,dadi,fufa etc etc……who knows what sasu ma’s behen ki nanad ki bhanje ki beti likes and gifts it to her on the appropriate occasion…..whose only aim and ambition in life is everyone in the family adores her and stays tied up she being the glue attaching the family threads together….who is ready to hear and empathize with anyone in trouble in the family and give them moral support as and when needed…who is the perfect ardhangini to her husband whatever comes by……and a never ending list of virtues goes on which would define and re-define her as a complete devi…..

What are these people trying to picturize….I mean why can’t they show a bahu who is more human like and less of the divine natured that they screen…..who doesn’t have time to keep her house spotlessly clean and can manage to clean to livable standards only in the weekends….who doesn’t know how to cook and manages and struggles to make something edible for the day following and writing down instructions dictated by her mother on the phone…..whose day starts with burning bread for her husband…thrusting it on his plate and forgetting to put jam and requesting him to do so himself and trying to get ready to catch the overcrowded public transport available and be on time to her office…whose day goes with solving client issues, issuing reports, analyzing, hearing unsatisfactory remarks from her boss and returns home trying hard to get some place to stand in the public transport again…..whose patience level has reduced to zero by the time she reaches home and she tries hard to remember what she had to buy for grocery…..who struggles to open the door with grocery in both the hands and drops half the things and spends the next half hr cleaning and cursing herself…..who returns to a half clean home which looks clean only on the surface as its middle of the week and still there are three more days to go for the grand cleaning ceremony to happen on the weekend…..who wonders if she has the energy to cook tonight or should she order something from the canteen…..who assigns the task of cutting vegetables to her husband and tries to cook something edible again….whose patience level reduces to –ve when she sees the tray with cut vegetables and the entire area dirty around it with vegetable skin…..who takes out her frustration aloud which fall on deaf ears while cleaning the place….who has no more energy left to respond nicely and sweetly to anyone’s call or remember anyone’s b’day or anniversary or wish anyone even when her mother/mother in law calls up to remind her of so and so’s special day…..she is a person who prefers not to answer to her parents/in-laws questions like “Do you take a bath everyday in the evening and do puja”…”Do u light agarbattis when you go out of home in the morning”…”Have you cleaned the bathroom wall tiles also while cleaning the floor”…”Why don’t u just boil milk daily and have a cup in the morning before you leave for office”…..”Its ok if you cannot cook non-veg during the week…just daal, roti and a simple aloo baingan curry should do…with an omlete to go with it”….”Are u both having enough fruits after food daily…u must get fruits and have”….”why are u having just chowmien for dinner today……u should have cooked something which is food and not snacks for dinner”…..”What? u are having bread everyday for breakfast….you can prepare parathas no…just make all the preparations in the night itself…it hardly takes anytime”…..”You must attend so and so’s function you know….family relations need to be maintained”…..”Iron the dresses as soon as they are washed and dried…it will be good for you”..”Do u face east and do puja or not”…..”why can’t u come early from office so that u can keep a maid to come and do the chores in the evenings”…etc etc…..she is a person who values her career as much she values her family and struggles to strike a balance to the bare minimum extent required…..She doesn’t mind at times giving some extra time to her career which she had dreamt of and struggled to build from childhood…she has no time or energy for values, traditions, culture, Bhagwadgitas , pujas, wishings, superstitions etc…..she is a person who does get frustrated and very well vents it out too……she does lose her patience and cannot empathize with others woes….She does voice her opinion when there is or isn’t any need……She is selfish enough and needs appreciation, looks for people to value her efforts, comfort her, support her and listen to her from time to time frequently ……..She has full right to be childish and intolerable with certain things…….

And this is the real everyday women I am talking of……who is an imperfect bahu, an imperfect wife, an imperfect employee, an imperfect daughter etc…. an imperfect her….as she is playing these roles in real in an imperfect life and not on reel…She is the one who is normal, human and very much larger than life unlike those maniacs which the TV serials keep casting day in and day out only to create a false image of the women as a devi in a very wrong way……which only causes people to believe that girls can be such idealists which their daughters and daughter in laws and wives and sisters are not……I think these mahila mandals if they want to do any good to the society the first thing they should do is ban these serials..

Society it is.......

2010-05-31T23:15:00.001+05:30

I remember my husband asking me “So what kind of an apartment should we look for “ and me answering instantaneously “A society kind…with lots of buildings…lots of people in one compound…only then we will not feel lonely in a city with no relatives…and probably make some frens too…it’s a society afterall”…..and so we did search for such an apartment and I was almost elated when we found one too and thanked God profusely……

Just abt 15 days after we shifted …..one day an elderly person comes to our flat and very nicely greets me and says “ Hi, could I go to ur kitchen”….Me surprised “Sure Sir”…..He inspects the kitchen for a while and says “This Aquaguard is urs na…when you fixed it did u fix this tap attachment also”…. More confusion from my side “ No sir…this was provided by the owner”….”Aaaah, no no my dear its not provided by the owner…its mine actually…I forgot to take it when I sold this apartment to ur current owner….you will have to detach that part and return it to me…and replace it with ur attachment”….Me baffled “But sir we have left our tap attachment in our old house which will take like two hrs to go from here”…..”Yeah so go and get it….take ur time…but I need my tap attachment”…..Me almost giving up “ Ok sir I ll see what can be done”…..”And yeah next time I come plz empty the letter box also and give me my letters….hope I didn’t cause much trouble…I am coming all the way from Chembur by taxi in this humid climate u know…” ….Me wondering after he left isn’t the fare by taxi from Chembur more than the price of the tap attachment which must hardly be 150 Rs or so…

Now, with less than a month in our new apartment…right in the morning when we are hurrying to go to office…..we suddenly are greeted by a dark, middle aged person…those typical owner of a clothes shop kinds..with a paunch…and a thick unmistakenably south Indian moustache…..”aa gaye aap”….which obviously got a surprised look on our faces for an answer as we didn’t expect someone waiting so desperately for us right in the morning…..” Main tumhara hi intezaar kar raha tha….tumne mera bike giraya hai…two times”……more surprised looks from us….”mereko bahut kharcha hua….aao dekho…mera handle toot gaya…mera bahut nuksaan hua…450 Rs. Ek baar ka”…….after abt 15 min of ranting from his side we were still clueless….then finally I said “Sir, shayad aapko galat femi huyi hai…its not us….kisi aur ne shayad galti se gira diya hoga…”…..obviously he wasn’t convinced…and instead said “ nahi tumhi ne giraya hai….madam mujhe paise dena hi hoga…aisa nahi chalega…teen baar gira mera bike”…..me more confused now how did it become three from two times….

Anyways, finally after a lot of convincing and ranting from both parties we came to a conclusion based on mutual understanding that lets exchange the parking lots then…may be that way he will be atleast convinced that we aren’t the culprits and he will also be happy with a closed parking exchange for an open parking space……

Night 11 ‘o clock on the same day we get a call on our intercom…again we both surprised as to why has someone chosen such an auspicious time to call…what could be the urgency…..and what follows is :

Caller : (A Female…please pardon me for not referring to her as lady) Are u C-512

S : Yes Ma’am

Caller : Take out ur car rt now from that parking space

S : Huh, Sorry Ma’am…I didn’t get u

Caller : I said take out ur car rt now and park it elsewhere

S : But ma’am could you kindly tell me what’s the problem

Caller : I can’t reverse my car

S : But ma’am I think there is enough space…aa…I think u can try to (Interrupted)

Caller : See let me clarify once again…I leave at 7 in the morning…my office is in Colaba…now if I reverse my car to left…which is easier for me…and which I have been doing till date…I can catch the direct route to the exit gate…now if you place ur car there I have to either spend time in reversing and be careful so as to not damage ur car…or take towards right…which is inconvenient for me as then I have to circle the entire building and spend 5 whole min to reach the exit gate….also u better know that my next neighbor is from Shiv Sena…and you better be thankful that I haven’t yet complained to the society incharge…did you understand the issue now…

S : OK ma’am now I got it…As the parking space is actually Mr. G’s who asked us to park our car there as he had some issues could I please request you to speak to him ma’am and settle the issue and let us know as we have no problem wherever anyone of you asks us to park our car…

Caller : No, why should I…you ask him to talk to me then…click (Line goes dead)

S called up G

G : (after hearing to the issue) kya bol rahi hai woh….agar meri gaadi hoti toh…do mujhe uska no.

S : Ok sir plz sort it among urselves and let us know

G : Thik hai…pehle tum no. do

After about half an hr call from G on the intercom

G : Suno tum gaadi udhar hi rakho…karne do usko complain…main bhi dekhta hoon kya kar legi who..

S : OK sir as you wish…I leave it to u both…Gudnite

So, society it is….I wonder when I see the slums that I pass by daily while going to the station everyday in the morning…people there are supposedly uneducated, less civil…and they seem to be living so amiably in that small hut shaped…constrained space…cooperating with each other…smiling and laughing around giggling away …everyday in the morning…..even if we assume that they too have such issues and quarrels…well then how different are we educated people living in a so called premium society from them anyway? If we are compared on the basis of tolerance level, patience, cooperation and other such parameters I won’t be surprised if our so called premium well educated society people will be beaten by the poor slum guys…

Mumbaikar Am I....

2010-05-26T19:27:00.000+05:30

I remember the day when I had arrived in Mumbai and my husband had warned me that this city is going to be really tough…it’s a harsh city and to live here and survive here I need to make myself really strong and be prepared to work really hard…many of my friends had sympathized with me for having to leave Hyderabad and move to Mumbai and even thanked God for they being bestowed with some extra luck for not having to do so…Even the interviewers who had come to the campus to interview had said Mumbai is going to be tough do you think you can handle things there and manage …

And after all the scary stuff that I heard from everyone around me I am here now in Mumbai…trying to manage…trying to get into overly crowded trains and pray to God that everyone stays civil and do not push me overboard….Walking in and walking out of the very station where there had been a terrorist shoot out less than a year back without even having the time to think that such a ghastly incident had occurred only some time back….maneuvering and making my way through the crowd and through the stations where people seem to be running for their lives always in as much hurry….waiting for my turn to come while waiting in unending queues for buses and for that matter even the lift to go to my office which is on the 18th floor…..struggling with water scarcity even during the office hrs…..walking fully drenched in sweat on the roads searching for the bus and trains going in my route…waiting for lunch in a queue and finding a place to stand and gobble down some food……Walking down the slums teeming with people to my building ….

And I am still alive…surviving…and above all somehow I still like this place. Life no doubt is a struggle here…struggle for everyone….just as everyone had warned me and scared me…all that what they had said is true…but I don’t know why…Mumbai still feels like a home to me…

The basic reason why I guess I can’t develop hatred for this place is that life for everyone here is the same…ofcourse leaving out the extremely rich people who can afford some luxury out of this city everyone else has the same routine and the same lifestyle atleast in terms of the struggle without any discrimination whatsoever…and everyone knows that time and space are two invaluable things here and to survive here there is no escape but to work hard…and the best part is everybody even for that matter empathize with one another and try to help each other as much as they can….thus there is always a sense of security that you feel here…you know you can always go and ask for help if needed and you will even find help…..Its an accommodating city inspite of being overcrowded …probably that’s what they call is the spirit of Mumbai…

I also love the ‘never say die’ attitude of the people here…by being with them you are bound to develop umpteen amount of confidence in yourself without fail….and to top everything the best part of this city is its never late in Mumbai…it’s a city that wakes up and comes to life in the night….inspite of the struggle that people experience and go through in the day people in the evenings pull up themselves to make the city alive and lively….the sight of the city in the night …the very feel of it makes you feel revived and rejuvenates you in an unexplainable way…

The feeling of becoming a Mumbaikar so far has been quite appealing…may be it takes a lot of inner strength to maintain your poise here inspite of the hard life this city imposes on you but nevertheless probably every Mumbaikar is in love with the city in some or the other way….just that some acknowledge and some don’t acknowledge the fact…

Experiencing Independence.....

2010-05-20T18:57:00.001+05:30

As the title of the post goes its like since the last one month I have been actually experiencing life in its true form ....Independence as the word goes I had never experienced it in its full form...Now when I understand what it actually means it seems as if the word Independence is too small for what it actually is....

When all of a sudden the task of finding a house, transferring your luggage all by yourself...cleaning, packing, unpacking, arranging and the numerous trips you make to do so...Rental agreement registration,Cable connection, TV installation, Washing Machine Installation, gas connection, Aquaguard, Newspaper, electricity bills, carpenter.....vegetables and other basic shopping ...its an unending list....All these things and many more which seemed so very trivial to us when we were in the comfort of our homes where parents used to take care of all these...they seemed so very trivial that I even failed to notice that so many things had to be taken care of and had to be thought about to set up a home.....It was like by the time we used to get back from school or office everything would be set at home and we never even bothered to think beyond it...

I remember when I was a kid and my mother would at times get irritated with the day’s work and shout at my brother and me when we would dirty the house...she would say that we don’t realize the value of what she was doing and one day when we would become independent and we are on our own we would understand ... I used to wonder then that why does she always stress so much on cleanliness and stuff when she herself says that none of us in the house values her doing so...and she had always retorted saying we will understand it by ourselves later .........And true to what she had said then today when I see myself so hell bent on cleanliness and putting stuff in their right places I realize....

When you try building a home right from scratch.....cleaning the entire apartment by urself...where even the color of the curtains are chosen by you and even the doormats are picked by you as per ur choice at the supermarket...it feels like you are nurturing something of your very own...you like each and every corner of the home to feel nice and warm....you feel dirty if the house is in a mess...you would like to enter your home and feel its fragrance fresh and scintillating....you would like to make it most comfortable for others...you feel the value of your effort when they entire tired and worn out into the house and you see a sense of relief in their eyes...when you sense the comfort that they experience as soon as they enter.........

But nevertheless it isn’t an easy job...setting a home, cooking, cleaning and working in a job...all at the same time. Everybody has been advising me to keep a maid to take care of the cleaning and cooking part ....and I know its sheer madness when I say I like to do things by myself....although I don’t claim that I will always do things by myself and I will never let a maid enter my home...I don’t say that but as long as I can manage and do things by myself I would love to do so....it somehow gives me a certain amount of pleasure and fulfilment in doing things myself.....especially cooking...I know I am still learning but I love to see everyone relishing something that I prepare from scratch....I love the praise I receive and at the same time I also love the consoling that I get when I burn a dish and we have no other go but to have that........

The feeling of Independence is too overwhelming for now to let it go so easily and let some outsider intrude into my privacy.....especially in those few hrs that I get to spend at home....

Home...

2010-04-29T22:34:00.000+05:30

Home – the word itself sounds so soothing….how many times in the day I think of you….when I am having a tough time meeting deadlines…when I am exhausted and just want to relax…when I feel frustrated for no good reason and just want to run away somewhere…when I am down and out…when it’s a celebration with family…after a long tiring journey….how many times I yearn to get back to that place called home…

The one and only place which is truly relaxing…where I am nothing but myself…where I don’t care about my appearance…my clothes or my dressing…the way I carry myself…where the food always feels fulfilling…where the water always quenches my thirst…where the bed always gives me a peaceful relaxing sleep…where I like to receive calls from near and dear…where I always feel safe and secure….

Today when I have to leave you and shift to some other place I also realize apart from all the above there had been umpteen memories which also I am leaving behind with you here. …memories which never felt so overwhelming enough as long as you were with me…memories of the day I first walked into my very little home…hrs that I spent bringing you into shape…the day I had got my first gas stove…the day I had first experimented cooking and burnt the dish…the day I got my first oven….the numerous lazy afternoons when I just lazily lied down on the floor and watched TV…the pigeons which everyday in the morning dance on the balcony shade and disturbed our sweet slumber….the running and urgency to fill drums of water when there was a water shortage…the dreams that I made imagining how I would paint the walls and what kind of pictures will go where and how would you look all decorated….our search for the right curtains…our fight over our first frigde….our parents visit and our excitement for they being our first guests and our effort in making them feel at home….our first Diwali in which our little home looked breathtaking with all the diyas…and above everything our first venture to start and manage a home together all on our own…

Shifting into a rented flat closer to office makes me feel that I am leaving so much behind…makes me feel weird and become possessive when I think that our little home is going to be lived in by some other people whom we will rent the flat to…I don’t know if my little home will feel the same again if other people stay in it…Will they take enough care of our home…

I wonder how people sell off their houses or rather their homes…its so painful just to leave ur home behind not knowing when u can shift back to it and go to some other rented apartment….I hope I can build new memories in the new apartment as well…but I know it will not be the same….adieu my little home…we will miss you….you will always be our special little home…

Wish I was a Kid Again...

2010-04-21T11:53:00.002+05:30

I remember that when I was a kid on the first day of school I used to love it when it turned out that that year a new uniform had to be stitched for me as the old uniform had become too old and shabby… and because my feet always happened to grow faster than me so every yr new shoes were almost a compulsion…I used to bask in glory and happiness and was all smiles thinking that everything would be new…new class, new uniform, new shoes, new set of books and if the school bag somehow also happened to be new then nothing like it…newness of things excited me so much as a kid…I even used to love transfers and shifting…when my father would be posted in a new place I would jump with joy thinking that there would be a new place to live in and a brand new set of friends and a new school too…And I always wondered why do my parents love their old home more than the new home and always keep talking about it…

Years later today even without my asking for it…it looks like all of a sudden I am going to step into a phase where everything is going to be new…new city, new apartment, new job, new colleagues, new field of work….and this time the things that are going to be new are much bigger in nature and in meaning. I am excited yes, but I also feel lost at the same time. There is enthusiasm and at the same time a certain amount of fear that will things go well or will I succumb to everything…I sometimes yearn for my old job in the city where I had lived for years and to get back to the comfort of my parents place…how come the same newness which used to overwhelm me as a kid is making me develop these inhibitions and apprehensions…..May be its easy when you start afresh…when you have no memories of your old job where you know how your first year had been…how long it had taken to establish your credibility…how you had not known to tackle a bad manager…may be its not…may be its easy now because you know how to tackle things and you have had the experience…but all said and done its again a start…a completely new start….it would take time again to settle down…again the same feeling of unsettlement would be there initially…again the strange feeling of walking down an unkown street to an unkown area and an office… amidst all strangers…the same jitters…the same nervousness….the same anxiety…

How I wish I was a kid again….oblivious…accepting all the newness in its entirety…blissfully ignorant of the fear and inhibitions and innocently taking in everything that’s new …with all smiles…making a mirage of imaginations..

A Morning in the Valleys !!

2010-04-20T21:08:00.007+05:30

Long time since I have blogged…Last few weeks have been so eventful that I haven’t had time to even think of the content for posting..And as the snap suggests this is what I had been doing....I should say I had been on a traveling spree…

Visited places like Shimla, Kullu, Manali, Chandigarh, Delhi, Mathura, Agra, Fatehpur Sikri….in a shot span of time covering so many places was a real good experience. It gave the feel and understanding of the differences in people’s culture, living and lifestyle in these places which probably I cudn’t have experienced had I visited one place at a time…I had never seen snow till date…hence Rohtang Pass was an enchanting experience…to see white snow all around you…sea of snow everywhere as far as your eyes can take you…it was mesmerizing…although I wasn't able to breathe for a while as the cold overtook me the sight was still overwhelming...and from the softness of the snow and the sub zero degrees cold we traveled towards Agra…scorching heat..50 degrees centigrade…but then Taj Mahal has its own charm…its not the first time that I visited Taj Mahal..but I was still as captivated by the monument as I was the very first time I had seen it…It has an aura about it that just captures you without fail…for that matter all these architectures i.e Fatehpur Sikri, Sikandara etc…you feel so different when you walk on the ground on which you know years and years ago kings and queens used to walk on them…you wonder how the place must be then in all its finery and glow…something that you have heard of as stories from your grandparents as a kid and had dreamt about…about kings and queens and ministers and their kingdoms palaces power and richness…and you are there touching it feeling it in your hands…imagining the stories in their true form for a while..

The other thing that strikes you is the differences in the nature of people.I think the whole of Himachal Pradesh is a different world in itself…Shimla being the capital feels so serene and calm which is far far away from the hustle bustle of the metros we live in….people in Shimla seem to be living a very beautiful life enjoying every day living each and every moment…you can see people sitting leisurely on the footway sipping tea and coffee in the early hours of morning…as soon as darkness sets in people call it a day and are seen having a stroll on the Mall road enjoying the cold breeze of the eve…there is no hurry... no tension in their eyes...just calmness and serenity all around...stark difference from the way people’s orientation towards life in a Metro is …Its really amazing how just a few hrs away from a metro people lead such a peaceful life and here in the metro people are so different….softness of people in the valleys seem to be engulfed by the harshness of the fast pace of life in Metro forcing them to develop a hard exterior…but then it would be wrong to compare the happiness of both of them as both are happy in their own cities…even the person in the valley is happy away from the fast pace of life in the metro and the person in the metro is happy being away from the slow moving calm life of the valleys…. although both might seem complaining about their lives at times....

And that makes me think…now that I am in Mumbai another metro….. when I look at the innumerous teeming lights from the balcony of my flat and the sky high buildings..and the people rushing through the crowd to catch the local to their homes…I wonder if I can fight through the crowd and make a place for myself here… …will Mumbai accomodate me and become my home ……

Adieu!

2010-03-08T03:31:00.003+05:30

When we were in engineering and it was the last day on campus we had cried hugging each of our friends....we were too young then not to mind to be called a sissy

Now, when it is the last day of post graduation (MBA) we are too old to cry or be sentimental and be a sissy and too young to realize that this is the end of a phase which will never repeat again and these are the faces who you never might cross paths with again and there is something that we might miss tomm....only if we get old enough to realize...

The Last Mile

2010-02-22T19:28:00.000+05:30

With just a couple of days more on campus and with end terms already hovering on our heads for the last term we the batch of 2010 are all set to cross the last mile together...just like we had first set our foot together two years back and sailed in the same boat all these days long...

It was a learning phase nevertheless.....just like every institute is...Past two years have definitely been eventful for all of us..And ofcourse I will always be thankful to this institute for helping me achieve the objective for which I had come here for...

I remember the day I had first stepped in...the newness and the strangeness of the place had been overpowering....even the sight of the stranger who had taken the group discussion with me during the interview process provided reassurance of someone known....

I remember how I had wandered into the class and sat coyly at a place with strange faces all around me filled with enthusiasm and our HR professor had walked into the class announcing marks for class participation.....which was like setting fire to a bunch of fireworks.... heart pounding mine was also one of the hands up desperate to contribute to the class...

I remember the day the first quiz was announced to be held and a batch mail was circulated with at most enthusiasm wishing all the very best to the entire batch by the students....And after three years of work I was sitting infront of my laptop ....my hand shivering to press the Go button to start the quiz....the Adrenaline rush, the fear, the excitement...

The seniors presentations in the nights which was compulsory to attend and the next day morning class where we would support each other so that the professors don’t catch us sleeping....the night outs in game committees ....the first JLT...when we were attending these it seemed that acads were in one end of the spectrum and these belonged to the other end...we would listen to the tunes of the songs playing in the JLT and bask in the glory of freedom from acads even if it was temporary...

The rehearsals we did as a group for our very first presentation in communication...with our hearts in our mouth to face a group of 60 as audience...and the support we gave each other in terms of Q&A session after the presentations....and how we have progressed to a stage where we make presentations in the class in those 5 min time when the other group is presenting and royally present it even to a panel of profs with umpteen confidence...

The very first grades which hit us all with one blow...the worry...the anxiety which has all faded with the years as we learnt to grow out of them...and laugh at glory and debacle alike accepting various things both good and bad and taking them in our stride as we went along.....

The wrath of the profs which we all together took with silent empathy for each other. The bitching sessions about anything and everything related to anyone and everyone.

Maxinations....Expressions....someone has rightly named the festival...in togetherness do we express our enthusiasm and spirit through a festival for which we didn’t mind to toil for nights together just to make it a success....and the admiration in all our eyes as each of our batchmates performed with flying colors...applauding for each and everyone...

The b’day celebrations...where the whole batch has fun at your expense and you enjoy to see them all laugh at your expense..

The silent prayers for one and all for placements...

I am not sure if I can term it Nostalgia as we count the final days to our footsteps taking us outside the campus...but I am sure there will be innumerable days when we will be sitting with a smile spread on our faces remembering the PJs of our friends and batchmates idiosyncrasies here...telling the tales of the profs and classes that we took each being an experience in itself...I only hope that just similar to the way we had all given a silent support to each other during the senior ragging sessions and class ragging sessions by the profs which were our first stepping stones...which we had probably misunderstood then and which now we understand was a way by which they made us think not as an individual but as a batch and brought us closer making us think for each other...just like that in the days to come I hope we still will silently support each other when the corporate world out there waits to rag us...with this note I bid adieu to the batch of 2010...

Surreal or Real?

2010-02-05T03:10:00.000+05:30

I think everybody in this world lives in two different worlds...one being real with stark practicality of day to day life, where your weaknesses have no place, where everyone is struggling to make a place, where you just get up and run to keep pace with the fast moving reality, where expectations are not alive, where you are alone, you are an individual all by yourself ...left alone to face it all whether things be in your favour or not....in short its the world where dreams end and reality begins and hits in your face and you have no say..you got to take it and keep walking...

And at the exact opposite end lies the other world...its surreal...but it exists as much as your real practical world...this is the world that everyone loves because they can see their hopes alive..which are so alive that they seem to hold your hand and lead you to the path where you see your expectations smiling down at you and encouraging you to dream...soar high in your dreams...paint that surreal world which has all the colors...bright and sparkling...without a speck of dullness...And how much you love to be lost in this surreal world of yours...This is the world where you define yourself..where there is time and place for love, closeness, family, friends...there is leisure...your imaginations are free to soar...

And there is a line separating the two worlds....a thin line it is...as its very often that when you realize the reality is way different and claims to be so practical that you slip into your surreal world to take solace to console yourself saying that what if the reality is so...what if I am not allowed to expect in there...what if my dreams don’t have a place there....I can still dream and expect in my surreal world and derive fulfilment from it...And you probably still expect and still dream...and again hope...hope that this time it is the other way round and this time atleast one of the dreams from the surreal world just slides into the real world and leaves you in awe....

Afterall the mind knows no bounds...the heart has no boundaries...they still hope for that day when the surreal world is your real world...they still expect their dreams to lead them by the hand to the apex of their imaginations and each time they are proved wrong they just wonder why is that we even expect .....aren’t the two worlds in completely different planes....surreal is still surreal and real is afterall real...stark but still real...but what the heart doesn’t although the mind understands is...how to draw the line between them...how to keep them separate...how to let them be...And the larger question would be...what is it right now?...Surreal or Real?

She...

2010-01-28T01:15:00.001+05:30

Three years old she is...playing innocently across the hallway in her mother’s lap...while her mother is trying to comb her hair into a pretty little plait...arranging her curly hair across the forehead...making her look like a doll....the innocence in her baby smile and the eagerness with which her big eyes are absorbing her mother’s words when she says...one day my little angel will be a big girl ...she would study hard and earn a lot of name and show everyone that she is no less...and everyone around will say that’s my angel...

Little does the little angel know...that she is going to tread a tough path ahead...her mother weaves in her her aspirations and ambitions so that her angel is no less than a guy tomorrow...and so does the innocent eyes of the little girl believe....As time flies she will be gifted dolls and will be taught to dream...dream of all that she wanted to do and was not allowed to as it was not lady like...and so her ability to soar high in her dreamland will begin... she ceases to exist in reality and her advent to the surreal world that she weaves takes an initiation...The trophies that she bags will be treasured by her mom more than anyone else....She will see the spark of her ambition in her mother’s eyes which she would like to fulfil...Her little innocent eyes which had naively taken her mother’s words for granted then...realization will dawn when she will know it was just another fairy tale...

Beauty being her identification in the society...homeliness being her appeal...house hold responsibility being her inevitable responsibility...earning her morsel a necessity...Her ambitions can be compromised with...judging her would be a legacy ....and her complaints not understood........ Numerous such expectations would unfold infront of her which will leave her to shun her innocence and grab the garb of a lady....toughness being her soul and patience her weapon...tears being the gift of God to vent out her emotions...and endurance her strength. Equipped with all these she would stand to face the vast waves of the ocean all alone....

Her mother’s moist eyes will dream of her little angel in a bridal dress painting the canvass of her life with beautiful colors....hoping against hope that her little angel is not standing alone to face the waves and has a supporting hand and a shoulder to lean on when she is gone....And she will gift her the garb of a woman....when her little angel is old enough and ready to take a leap ahead ....to be a woman from being the lady she was....A subtle change bringing a world of unexplainable transformation in her life...Here her mother will learn that her role is over and now her little angel is left on her own to discover the woman in her and endure it , comprehend it, understand it and love it for no one else would or no else can except she herself...

For she will shudder and wouldn’t want to submit to being a woman she would want to be her mother’s little angel again believing innocently to her mother’s words...oblivious of the future she has to face.... oblivious to the fact that she is being moulded to be a woman someday.... Yet, a time will come when she will wait...she will wait for an identity of her own...she will wait for her own little angel in whom she can see her reflection...her self...and that day she would truely comprehend the mysticism and divinity of her existence...she would be liberated , she would be happy....she would realize and she would be thankful that she is a girl...a lady...a woman...and her little angel will also grow to be one some day.

Musings….

2010-01-25T23:32:00.000+05:30

The lane was dark and there was a long way to walk…but feared not she as she had him by his side walking along with her…everytime she needed assurance she looked at him and his re-assuring eyes calmed her ….he held her hand tight as if he was holding on to her protecting her from the darkness around…and she looked at him and remembered her father who was as protective about her and had said with full confidence and assurance to her…my dear, here you go…I have found the hand which will always hold on to urs forever…she thought of those words and gently squeezed his arm just to re-settle her emotions and his eyes looked into hers and she saw in them the promise that he had given her father…

And so they walked along…she just smiled to herself and thought …it was so simple to fall in love…and how she had always thought it to be very complicated…she looked at their shadows when at the crack of dawn and wondered…how beautiful they looked together..She felt her dreams all being overshadowed by just one dream ….she now relished her new dream….the dream in which she could always be his shadow…She now aspired to walk along his side…She now wished to have a look at the place he was taking her…She was eager to discover the land that he said would be theirs…where he said he would build a small little world of their own…Her dream was now to set up that little world with him…She was lost in her thoughts when he smiled and said…Are you dreaming about our little world that we are going to build together…and she smiled thinking how did he know… He said my dear our little world is right here with us as we walk together…this is our world…and wherever we halt there we would just implant our world…She nodded with appreciation for his thoughts and felt a little stupid about her childishness… She couldn’t help admiring him and she wondered what if she doesn’t understand things the way he would want her to understand…what if he feels overburdened with her responsibility…what if her childishness and stupidity troubles him…she wondered should she ask him if he found her childish and he again looked at her and said…what happened?...she said… nothing feeling very childish with you don’t know why…and he replied..how else would I take care of you…I want you to stick by my side in the dark when you are scared and by the light and the sunshine I would hold on to you and your smile…Now give me all your apprehensions and smile so that my apprehensions are washed away when I see you smile…

Hearing to this she felt completely at ease…She knew in her little world that they form together there is no place for anguish..no place for ego..no place for misunderstanding…no place for resentment and no place for apprehensions of any kind… and she just held on to his hand and continued walking feeling free and happy like a bird in the sky all set to fly along and glide in her little new world..

House to Home….

2010-01-21T23:05:00.001+05:30

No, this post isn’t about lamenting about being far from parents…missing home…or anything of that sort…its about my home…yeah today it feels so very special that I thot let me post about it…

Since morning I have been busy cleaning the house…didn’t take a shower…didn’t have food….just wanted to first make my house a home first and only then do other things…strangely I didn’t even feel filthy cleaning the house…Its true when people say what a guy would term as clean a girl will never do so till she sees it spotlessly clean. And as Murphy’s law goes my maid turned up after I cleaned the entire house thinking that she wouldn’t come and she said…Bhabie aap aa gayi…ab ja ke ghar saaf lag raha hai…par aap ek hi din mein pura ghar kyun saaf kar rahe ho…bhaiyya ko toh pata bhi nahi chalega…aap thoda araam se karo na…I just smiled and closed the door…and finally now when I look all around me I just feel like taking it all in cherishing the feeling of being in my home. My mother too always used to tell me …housewives keep working all day long and at the end of the day when they go to sleep their work never has value…rather no one values their work…but today when I look at my home…sparkling clean…each and every corner cleaned by me…I feel the value of putting in 8 hours of labour…how does it matter if anyone values my work or not…the value of looking at my shining little home is just overwhelming and priceless…

I wonder how people sell off their houses and go for new houses...how come they don't develop any attachments with the place they first started their lives in...together making it into a home an abode where they celebrated and took the first step of their life together...May be the attachment wears off over time...probably a bigger house occupies enough space in the dreams to have no place left for the old memories attached to thier very first home...

Year 2010....

2010-01-01T23:53:00.000+05:30

So here comes 2010.... The beginning of another year...the advent of a new beginning, new hopes, new wishes...Its always so nice to welcome the start of a new year...to see people rejoicing all around you...

On the eve of every new year I always get reminded of the year that has passed...and where I was the last time I celebrated new year with others...as it happens last year I happened to be at my parents place and was stuck up with some stupid assignment with some course and didn’t know what to do as I was not on campus...so I just didn’t realize when last year had started and how time flew...but today when I sit to gather my thots I am just realizing it was just two yrs back when I was celebrating the start of the year 2008 and the year before that had passed in lot of personal ups and downs...little did I know what the year 2008 and the next year had in store for me...and when I had wished that hope this year goes well probably God just took of time to listen to my wishes...

Year 2008 had marked a new beginning in my life....as I happened to meet my husband that year and pursue my dream of doing higher studies that year and year 2009 happened just follow 2008 fulfilling my professional ambitions and today when I welcome the year 2010 I again know it will be the start of my new life...it will be a year full of promises...which will bring in togetherness, new responsibilities, Start of my new home,love, sharing and a little bit of adjustment, start of a new career , new friends and a new work life. Its going to be another remarkable year...

With all the happiness and eagerness that I look forward to for the year 2010...I also have this stint of a feeling that the count of the number of years that I am not going to be with my parents is only going to increase from now on...its like the phase in which I was learning to fly with the help of my parents is over now and I am all set to fly...just like the younger birds have to leave the comfort of their parents nests once their parents teach them how to fly only taking their blessings along to face the world alone...

Hoping that year 2010 marks a new beginning bidding adieu to 2009 for everyone and is as prosperous as the celebrations that are welcoming the year ahead...Wishing one and all a very Happy New Year 2010...

God Sent....

2009-12-25T03:40:00.001+05:30

He was just a few hrs old when I first got to look at him...I saw him and I thot gosh if I put my two palms together he can just fit into them...so tiny he was...

Ever since then whenever I look at him or hear him speak those big philosophical statements or making those big career decisions I picturize that tiny little tod whom I used to forcibly get into that one piece head to toe fit and decorate him like a doll stealthily when my mother took off for a bath or left him unattended for a while and was spanked hard for doing that geopardizing breaking his neck...but the amazing thing was that he would just keep looking at me with those big innocent baby eyes while I was forcing him into the outfit and never even utter a sound of pain or discomfort...that was my little brother...he has always been that little for me ever since...

He would just crawl to me when I got back from school in class two and get back to home being carried by me...I would secretly get lollipop for him when he was allowed to have only baby food and make him lick it..... and he would lick it with a world of eagerness as if it was a drop of heaven that I got for him...

He was warned that he can’t come near me because I had chicken pox when he was one and half yrs old and when my parents were not looking he would come and stand near the door looking at me scared...wishing with those innocent eyes again that I get well soon...and run away as soon as he would see anyone coming and when he was scolded he would explain in his broken baby talk that chicken pox cudn’t jump over him as he ran away in time...

The way we used to fight and drive my mother crazy...

The day when my father came home and told me my Intermediate Board results and that I would be securing a seat in BITS and inspite of having a physical broom stick weaponed fight...which broke the broom stick into two and let my mother bring down the roof on us...my little brother who had vowed never to see my face again in his entire life..just heard my father announce the results and came and sat quietly beside me tugging at my arm...again his innocent eyes looking at me and earnestly hearing my father say and understand that I will have to leave home for 4 years...

I would truble him tease him and eat his part of the goodies and when he would cry and I get spanked and beaten up for the mischief...he would look at me through tears ...wipe his tears away and tell my father...its ok papa she will not do it again...

The scared look in his eyes when he would be watching Harry Porter at night with me instead of preparing for IIT and hear a sound imagining that my father or mother will come out to drink water and catch hold of him...

The irritated look that he gave me when I uttered something stupid or irritated him...the give up look he would give me when it came to my GK....and the supporting look that he would always give when I gave it up and said I can’t do it...

And the day when he took the thali for welcoming his sister’s bridegroom home...my little brother again...the look in his eyes bidding me goodbye after the wedding....

My brother 6 yrs younger to me....has always been and will always be that same little innocent toddler for me...yet just yesterday he told me just these four words “ Di, you make me proud”...I don’t know what made him say that....probably because this time I wasn’t near to look into his eyes....but it just overwhelmed me and I wondered ....my little brother ...just like I look down at him as the same little tiny person who could fit in my palms...his eyes have always looked up at me...right from the first time he called me by my name as a kid before he uttered mama or papa...And what can I say except that its true when people say siblings are just another way of God telling you that they are always there with you as your reflection....

Gratitude.....

2009-12-15T03:03:00.000+05:30

Two incidents come to my mind today as I sit posting on this blog :

Incident 1 :

School admission for class 8^th. The principal of the school telling my father ...”Oh no sir you don’t realize she has no city school experience...she doesn’t know English also properly...and we have seats available only for Sanskrit second language....which she has never taken earlier...she will fail in 8^th as well as Xth board”...

And the my father answering “ I assure you sir she will manage and she will manage it well”...

And I managed to score 100% in Xth Board exam in Sanskrit and Two Gold Medals in Xth Board

Incident 2:

MBA admission. My father requesting Dean to postpone my joining by few days as the day of my wedding and joining were on the same day. The dean’s response to my father’s request “...You don’t realize sir....your daughter will face a very tough curriculum here...will she be able to manage MBA with marriage at a time...that too joining late”.

My Father’s response again “ I assure you sir she will manage and she will manage it well”...

And I managed again this time....but the credit does not go to me but to that one person who forms my world...My Husband...

And next to God for correcting this one wrong decision of mine by blessing me with my dream job in Finance in the same city as my Husband inspite of that being the only company on campus offering the location where my husband is posted.

A Yearning....

2009-11-01T02:14:00.000+05:30

Today all of a sudden I don’t know why I am remembering home so much. Its been two years since I left home. Two years since I had been so paranoid to get thru MBA in someplace. Now I wonder, did I ever realize it then what would it mean. Did I think at that time that it would mean I have to spend two years away from all the luxury of home cooked food and comfort of my mom when I was down, comfort of my sleeping lazily in my room where everyone was so hell bent on me getting up and having food on time, when I would come back from office and my mom would open the door worried asking me what kept me so late...and complain about how can corporate job be so taxing, where me and my brother would browse thru all the tv channels and comment over every silly thing we come across breaking down to peals of laughter, bugging my father to take us for dinner in expensive restaurants whenever his salary for the month is credited, gazing at electronic items with my father and brother in different stores till mom screamed with irritation, escaping out just when the slightest hint of some errand at home is going to befall on u, ordering mom to cook ur favourite dish and hogging over it, complaining abt anything and everything in the world to your parents and knowing that you will get full support from them no matter what or who is wrong, venting out ur irritation on the first person u find and getting a thwacking which later is dissolved with some good bribery...the list is just endless.

I am wondering how people who have gone abroad for work or studies manage. Don’t they have such moments of emotional yearning to just leave behind everything and go home. Home the word itself sounds so soothing to ears. I remember I always used to mock at my mother for missing her home which she has left since about 28 years since the time she got married and moved with my father . I always used to say she is being irrational when she calls grandpa’s house as her house whereas her house is this. Now, I think may be 30 yrs from now I will still be feeling the same yearning that I am feeling rt now...Afterall home is home the sweetest place in the world, the place which keeps all your childhood memories with it, the place which is always there with open arms inviting you making you yearn to just go there and embrace it, the place which you eventually one day have to leave but which always lives with you wherever you go...I just wish I was at home now.

Since age five....

2009-09-17T04:34:00.000+05:30

I was just watching this episode of friends today where one of the girl characters of the serial is getting married and she wants everything to be perfect on her marriage and the guys are unable to understand as to why is she making such a big fuss about every tiny thing that she wants to be perfect and not try to yield and compromise with the next best option. This reminded of my work place where I used to work earlier before joining MBA...there was this friend of ours who was getting married then and we girls we so very excited for her and each of us pooled in money to buy her the best of gifts possible. She was the first one among our friends circle in office to get married and we spent hours discussing as to what would be the right gifts for her...we wanted to bid her with a nice farewell party and the guys were just unable to appreciate the entire thing ...they were like yeah she is getting married so what’s the big deal...why so much of excitement...what is the big thing that she is going for...back then we girls were all dumbfounded and we never could get back at the boys for ridiculing all our arrangements and excitements...

But when I was watching the serial the reply that the girls gave to the guys just left me thinking....In the serial Monica retorted when her brother who was getting married was frustrated that the bride wanted everything to be perfect and was making a big fuss about everything...all that she said was “ How long have you been preparing for your wedding”..he said about 6-7 months and she said “you know from how long she has been thinking of her wedding ...since she was 5 yrs old”...and this statement of Monica’s just struck me...actually to think about it...you see a girl of age five or even less the only thing you see her doing is planning for the wedding of her dolls...she tries to have the perfect wedding for her doll picturising herself seeing her image or a part of herself in the doll and she grows so does the dream does along with her...she always dreams herself in that bridal dress with all the bridal accessories on her ...that special day of her lives which she would want to be just perfect and nothing else...even a small thing like leaving the home by doing the ritual of pouring the rice in your mothers saree pallu would also be very special for her...she would dream of an entire different life which she would be entering into after the very day of her wedding...even the sillest thing like putting mehendi uptill which exact point of her hand she would have dreamt about...even the stupidest detail as to how many bangles she would like to put on she would have taken ages to figure out... even the idea of wearing the ring of her fiancée would be her most cherished moment

Guys today argue that what’s the big deal as everyone is working the guys are also leaving far from home and so are the girls and a wedding is in no way taking the girl away from her home or her parents more than the guys nor does the girl have any problems to adjust at her new place among new people as the couple leave for their place of work immediately after the wedding or the in laws have actually become very broad minded with the changing generations. Whatever the argument the fact of a girl always have dreamt of her new home..the perfect one with the single most detail planned as to what the color of the walls would be would never be so with the guy...how much ever casual today’s generation has become this fact will always remain true as Monica said guys would never understand as they can never imagine themselves in the bridal wear walking down the aisle since they were five years old...dreaming about how your home would be with your partner...being ready to transform and change stepping into a new changed life where even a different name is acceptable to you... they just never can

2009-09-17T04:33:00.000+05:30

There is this movie fashion that I simply have no words to describe...after ages I have found another movie that I can go on watching an endless number of times...it sure does come in the league of other movies of Madhur Bhandarkar... I must say he just makes these amazing movies...even the other movie of his that is page 3 it was just as beautiful as this one...generally I always prefer reading a book rather than watch a movie...but its some movies like these that I just get sold to...

Movies like fashion, Page 3 and other movies I guess cannot really be appreciated by everyone. They have these intense emotions picturised in these movies which is way different from the other light hearted commercial movies that the general public movies. But I don’t know why I fall for these heavy movies and its really amazing that each time I watch these movies I not only fall more in love with them but I have a whole new set of thoughts and perspectives that revolve around the movie and the characters in the movie in my mind. I really love the high amount of confidence that he portrays in the characters of his movies that kind of oozes out of them and kind of touches you and spreads to you when you watch them...all his characters are these women whom you truely can term as women of substance with umpteen amount of confidence, maturity and an independent attitude which you just cannot fail appreciating. And fashion would earn probably a few points more for its marvellous blend of music as well....I am so glad I finally ended up with a copy of Fashion today and now I can watch it whenever I feel a little low

Its so amazing when you have all this leisure time to yourself when you can just watch your favourite movies all night alone on your laptop with absolutely no one to disturb you and you can go through the entire emotional sequence all by yourself and post about it and go to sleep playing songs all night on your laptop till the charge of the battery goes down...it feels so great after exams!!

Friends the serial :D

2009-09-15T21:49:00.001+05:30

When I am down and think I have hit rock bottom I watch friends

When I am angry with life I watch friends

When I feel lost I watch friends

When I feel elated I watch friends

When I feel lonely I watch friends

When I take a break from my schedule I watch friends

When I am bored I watch friends

And now when I am frowning for not being able to go home after my exams I am watching FRIENDS....wonderful serial...just have no words for it J J!!

Heading towards more hollowness...

2009-09-15T21:42:00.000+05:30

I had been thinking to post about this since a long time and have just not been finding time to. Usually when I experience something and think of writing about it and postpone it I end up forgetting the incident and don’t post it. But this time I guess I just haven’t been able to forget the experience of that day. It was actually a very simple day like any other day...just that it was special for me as staying in a hostel doing an MBA amidst this vast clutter of events you take one whole min. to recollect your name so forget about taking out time to be with family. Thus that one day that I was spending at home was special in a way.

It was a fine Sunday evening and everyone was having a day off from work just lazing around.Now, as usual I always love being a silent spectator and listen to other’s conversation ...rarely I actively involve myself...so I was just doing my usual part of being a silent listener and then it suddenly struck me that we have all been discussing from a long time about a street dog. My mother in law was narrating her experience while she was staying at rent in Cuttack, a city in Orissa. She was talking about a colony dog basically it had so happened that a dog gave birth to a puppy and died and all the people in the colony didn’t have the heart to see the puppy die so they took care of the puppy and each of the them took turns in feeding the puppy. The puppy became such a favourite of the colony that whenever in anyone’s house in that colony there used to be a celebration, b’day or something that day the puppy was fed with royal food...whenever a delicacy was made in anyone’s house a share was kept aside for the puppy too. All the colony members even happened to gather and try naming the puppy... Then it so happened that one hot afternoon the puppy was nowhere to be seen. A chaos was there in the colony...people went out in search of the puppy...housewives couldn’t sleep and eat in peace....children too missed the puppy. Finally after three days someone found the puppy in another colony and gave the happy news.

It was amazing to hear how people in small localities located in small cities develop attachments and develop such emotions. I am not sure if such things can take place in big big Metros between all that glamour of lucrative 14 hrs job. This story probably just fascinated me because when I am in hostel I keep hearing to discussions about job recession, what electives are needed to take up an elective, at how much compensation should one opt for a job, how come that person got more marks then someone, how are people trying to influence the professors to earn some extra marks or know some questions coming in the exam, how should we try and do brand building, a row over why should it should be compulsory to attend any talks, which company tiers our institute at what level, who has got thru some competition or PPO, how have some people got to know answers for exercises and are not posting for the benefit of the batch, how to get back at some group for ruining your presentation the other day, .....and the list goes on.

To listen to all this and then hear to a complete different discussion on a different plane altogether sounds so fascinating. All these emotionless discussions of ours revolving around big bucks all the time sound so hollow somehow. We are everyday trying to develop ourselves in some way by going for a higher education which is good in someway but in the process I hope we are not mechanizing our emotions. I am just imagining what will happen when we are stuck with some big dream jobs ...leading a life in which 3/4^th time is spent at work ...will we have time for such attachments...how would that life be ...without any place and time to develop such emotions...completely hollow...do people realize ever it ever...or is it that they don’t even have time to realize it ...or do they conveniently term it as “what a waste of time” or “How ridiculous” and do away with it....And what will happen one day a few years down at the dining table on a lazy Sunday..will the discussions start with “when I was at work one day there this fellow who was such a rogue...he literally influenced the boss and got a promotion etc etc “..........will we ever have conversations on such small fascinating incidents...Are we all moulding ourselves to lead a hollow life...sigh!!

Who Care's.....

2009-08-16T14:38:00.000+05:30

I look at some individuals and wonder at times how must these people be defining the word “feelings”....Do they ever feel for anyone...feel in the sense does it ever occur to them that if I said this or did this in what way would I affect the other individual...does this thot ever pass their subconscious mind...forget abt consciousness...but at the same time I don’t know why I appreciate this attitude also...I appreciate the way these individuals that total I-care-two-hoots attitude...it must be saving such a lot of their time and mental peace in not trying artificially to be nice or good to others...so much of their time is saved in not wondering if what they said or did did it make them get into the bad book of the other person...these newly coined words “attitude” , “maturity” , “practical” and “boldness” in our generation..I somehow do appreciate those people who have these qualities in them....I mean just imagine if all of us would just do what we feel is right not really caring abt what others think till we are within limits of not doing atrociously unthinkable deeds falling on the socially unacceptable parameters....say I don’t believe in performing 100 pujas or a simple thing like if I had non-veg I shouldn’t be visiting temple on that particular day...I mean why on earth my eating habit should be a constraint on me to not remember God on some day...let me visit the temple on any day I wish to...afterall I am visiting the temple to earn some mental peace so why these restrictions...why fast on puja days...how does me being hungry result in greater good...what is the logic to it...why shudn’t I just plain sit and pray to God the way I like without punishing myself by keeping myself hungry and why can’t that result in prosperity for urself and others....

I am glad a lot of these things are not being cared by the younger generation...yeah may be feelings are getting eroded away...may be all this has always been done to make the elderly feel the control and respect by us following their set rules and traditions...but it definitely results in saving on a lot of our mental peace. Half the time I had seen housewives in and around me gossip about every dog and cat too if they can spot one on the road at the time of their gossiping...and today’s generation doesn’t care a pence on how someone is leading his or her life...or what who had told them which was against them or not in their favour....simply put who cares there are thousand other things for me to bother about.

Sometimes I seriously think yes this technology intense generation of ours...ambitious blood...although criticized for having the maximum no. Of break ups and divorces are all definitely leading a better quality of life . I mean yeah, so why shudn’t there be a break up between two people not compatible and not happy...who cares what society thinks...finally its their mental peace which is at stake....

All this sounds so logical and practical to us when we take examples like these...but somewhere still there is a flaw...where can there be a flaw....something still seems wrong in this rationale......what can that be...

Could it be that isn’t the logical end to all this in someway is loneliness......estrangement....solitude. Will the generation tomm have a logic to defy this also...can this also be overcome with rationale...

Why MBA?

2009-08-09T02:00:00.000+05:30

Recently one of my cousin’s saw me online at 4:30 A.M in the morning and pinged me asking “What’s up?” and as usual my reply was “Dying”....and he was like “why the hell do u guys work so hard...you literally scare me to opt for MBA...why do people ever do MBA if it requires so much of ur mental peace?”...and I was like “well good question, if u r not able to find the most suitable way to commit suicide then join MBA”...having said that I logged off and continued with my marketing assignment on which I had already spent 48 hrs of labour...yes, when I say 48 hrs it is 48 hrs straight of sleepless time spent on the assignment...

Definitely that wasn’t the best time to ask me as to why MBA if it requires so much of ur perseverance and effort...but yeah, its true it requires a lot of time management...and when I mean time management I mean sleep...u need to have the stamina or rather I shud say u develop the stamina to stay awake for 24 hr stretches at time...if required even for days together...you would see most of us online 24*7....but then behind all the cribbing there is a sense of satisfaction...today if someone asks me the same question as to why MBA I wud answer just in one word...”satisfaction”...well if it sounds ambiguous then I can only say then may be you should not be considering an MBA afterall....

There are people who find satisfaction in earning huge bucks at the end of their degree...and if there is a recession they regret their decision for doing MBA...there are people who just do an MBA because they just want to elongate their college days by another two yrs and postpone the heavy mind boggling decisions of career and all till as long as they can....there are also people who are dissatisfied with their jobs and try changing their careers by doing an MBA...afterall grass looks greener on the other side...but among all these people whichever category you belong to you definitely one day pat urself for taking the decision of doing an MBA provided you earn satisfaction out of it...you earn satisfaction out of the curriculum...the busy schedule..the never ending session of classes that can start as early as 7 in the morning and continue till 12 in the night with an assign submission following the nxt day...the mere toil that goes in...the sleepless nights that go in...the toughness of the schedule...the extent to which you can stretch yourself...all this have to induce and imbibe a sense of satisfaction in you....you can only appreciate the entire thing only when you feel spent at the end of the day and feel sleep overpowering you ....only to close your eyes with a sense of accomplishment. That is what MBA gives you....the sense of accomplishment...sense of satisfaction...a mode to re-discover your potential...a sense to re-discover new ambitions...a place where you find a new definition to ethics and develop your own set of morals...

If you ask me I would also stand by the statement that MBA is not for everyone. Earlier when I used to prepare for these MBA entrances I always used to argue saying what do u mean by u need to make a difference..what do u mean by saying MBA is not for everyone...its people like us who make it there...but after having joined the course I wud say for being an MBAite you certainly need a different kind of aptitude...in other words you need immense inner strength a little of it which you would need prior to MBA and most of it which wud develop during the course...

Another beautiful thing that I have discovered about the course is that the students have immense self confidence in themselves...they don’t question themselves even once about their individuality...each one here is an individual in their entirety...the sense of individualism that comes from MBA...

That doesn’t mean there aren’t people who haven’t adopted shorter means and “extra talented “ ways to achieve the same thing for which you might have spent two sleepless nights. That is the beauty of the course...you have innumerable options...you have shortcuts available as well..it all depends on what do u derive your satisfaction of...MBA is unique...its a tool which you can either use to nourish your inner strength ....build your confidence or boost your ego...and mind you both aren’t the same....but whatever it is just like any other institute where toiling hard reaps its results ....just that the results are not something that can be seen but are subjective and are to be felt in terms of satisfaction that you earn out of them....just as I started the post with.... yes, MBA is a means to commit suicide but the beauty of it is that you yourself search the various means discover the hurdles and you derive pleasure when u find urself up and alive ready to face the next hurdle...only if u can develop the right attitude to do this you can truly appreciate the essence of an MBA otherwise like any other degree MBA might just end with a black robe and a ribbon tied sheet of paper.

Reverie

2009-07-28T02:29:00.000+05:30

There is something about this silence that I like...

There is something about this darkness that I like...

A light melody playing on my laptop breaking through the silence of the night..

I have always liked the eerie silence and blackened darkness of the night. The beauty of the tiny lights glittering in the black velvety canvass of the night is always a captivating sight to watch. And to add to the bliss a light music to break through the silence playing in the background echoing into the night. A light drizzle ...the drops of rain sounding crystal clear in the silence splashing on the dry ground leaving a blend of sweet nauseating smell ........A smell that reminds you of your childhood, reminds you of your mom running after you in the rain reprimanding you for getting wet...reminds you of the days when running around playing in the rain was termed playful and not eccentric as it would be termed now....making you wish to just get back to those childhood days...

Probably night has always appealed to me because its the only time when you are free of all day to day hassles and get some leisure . Its the time when you can look back on to the day and smile over your accomplishments...frown over your pitfalls...set new milestones.....Its the time when the realization of you being to yourself dawns...when you can get lost in the maze of your thoughts and do not feel the presence of any being around you intruding into the arena of your world..when you can do things at your own pace not worried about falling short of others moving fast ahead of you...when you have time to miss your near and dear ones ... When you have purity of air around you unadulterated as in the day...when you can look at the tweak of light breaking through the gap in the window pane and build hope.....when the stars glistening in the night sky overwhelm you and rejuvenate your spirits...... when you can be overpowered by sleep regardless of anything and everything around you...regardless of the fact that tomm again you have to get up and run to catch up with the fast pace of the world...when the unconscious slumber grips you by the arm and carries you to a land of dreams beyond the stars promising all your desires to be fulfilled with a blink of your eyes....

A Hearty laugh!!

2009-05-20T17:59:00.000+05:30

I am posting after a long long time…all these days what has been happening..well umpteen number of things..and each time I think of posting the next incident baffles me and I just loose track of what all things were on the list to be posted…
Offlate I have been again witnessing a bit of corporate world..which makes me all the more yearn for the life I led earlier as a simple software engineer…looks like the higher the ambitions you have the more you got to be prepared to face the brunt of complicate things. So, I met this business tycoon..yeah a business tycoon who impresses one and all when he speaks…inspiring the innocent and ambitious who are at the bottom of the ladder..making the other peers envy ur opportunity to work with him ….winning the gaping awe of the student stepping into a seven star grand hotel maneuvering her way through the endless entrances with aproned waiters smiling down at you….and something inside you urging you to just run away from that posh grandeur…a sense of uncomfort…a sense of nervousness..what do I tell him…what do I speak to him. And finally when the meeting gets over …a sigh of relief…thank God its over. It must be so easy for them to speak their mind…afterall a business tycoon…it must be so very easy for them to manipulate things…afterall the others are they clever enough to judge what’s behind their mind.
How well they speak…a sugar coated word of praise from them sounds so overwhelming…probably succeeds in covering their real intentions….a mild rebuke…so mild that you have to wonder twice that did it mean anything or am I getting it wrong. Yes, I met such a business tycoon…or rather I was honored to have the opportunity to meet someone so high a stature. And after the whole baffling meet I laughed…the only thing I could do…isn’t it astonishing…the same person from whom I was fearing…I was nervous …became a laughing stock for me…yes, the fear was gone and it was replaced with sympathy and laughter. I always feel pity at people who think that they are very clever…and sadly the politicians and business tycoons are the prime most examples of this…
Thankfully a three years of taste of corporate world has provided me with one percent ability to judge what the real intention behind a particular behavior is. But it seems so paradoxical at times…these business tycoons who are good at commanding respect and imbibing nervousness in others finally end up ruining their own image more often than not….but yes a few people do call it as shrewdness and appreciate it as well and a few other immature people in business world like me call it as foolishness and laugh over it bcoz they fail to understand what harm it would have done to them had they handled the matter by being straight forward about it. The whole industry is in a financial crunch and anyone will perfectly understand a cost cutting strategy…why lie abt it and try enacting that bad performance is the cause of cost cutting….why not be straightforward abt it and leave the decision to the candidate if he/she wants to work with you or pursue their luck elsewhere… and shouldn't it be the most disrespectful and humiliating thing to make a well qualified person work and then say that sorry I can't pay you...what am I saying for us middle class honest people it is since we know what it takes to earn money and qualifications...for business tycoons..... arey they are filthy rich try to understand...you got to be mature enough I tell you !!
This so called shrewd behavior definitely imbibes laughter in you if not anything else….imagine the next time you hear about the business tycoon on TV or from friends will it not bring a smile over your face remembering the K-serial plot he had played on you just to hide his inability to pay you. Sometimes I wonder do these people ever realize what they have lost in the process of building up their bank balances….recently I was stranded all alone in a shopping mall waiting all day long for my husband to finish his work and come over…and a posh mall that it was I had just enough money in my purse for probably the lowest priced item being sold over there. So I could only spend my time looking at people and amusing myself…I really get amused when I see these fashion show type dressed woman strolling with their small two yr old little kids talking to them in American accent….these kind of spectacles induces in me unfailingly as much laughter as the business tycoons business strategies…someday I am sure I will be beaten up for laughing out aloud…..but thanks to these people had it not been for them we would have had no jobs today…its because of these people’s investments that we earn our bread and butter.
But really don’t these people miss having fun wearing loose clothes in summers…with kids running around all over the mall getting into everyone’s path and bringing smile over everyone’s faces instead of learning American etiquettes ….don’t they miss the 10 Rs. Corn being sold on the roadside instead of that 200 Rs. Processed frozen corn….don’t the business tycoons enjoy the dhabawala’s 70 Rs Tandoori instead of 1500 Rs. Tandoori in a seven star hotel….it is definitely a matter to sympathize with but then when I see them complicate their life with so much glee on their faces and the self proclaimed status of belonging to the upper class I can’t help but have a hearty laugh.

’Coffee and Cream’

2009-02-04T01:49:00.000+05:30

The pace at which I am posting these days and reading other’s posts as well sometimes really requires me to rake my brain to remember the right URL to my blog..well there was a day when I used to sit in my cubicle at my workplace and think one day when I am enrolled in a B-school and I am doing my dream course MBA I will have so many interesting things to write about that my blog will be filled with posts...that is when I will regularly sit around and keep posting on my blog left and right...and today here I am in a B-school hardly even visiting my blog...forget about posting I don’t even have time to read other’s posts...

So coming to the B-school bandwagon ...yeah bandwagon it is...if it were not then why would so many applicants be seen filling in forms day in and day out trying desperately to get out of what they think as a stagnated boring job to find peace and solace in a B-school...well let me tell you the first thing that you will realize after stepping in here is that what you actually wanted to do...the lucrative Finance and Mkting jobs might sure lure you to get into a B-school but don’t be surprised if you realize that you were happy with technology and would do anything to get back to it and be miles away from MBA....Ok so I ll not get into the intricacies and facts about what you will discover when you land in an MBA ...that is for the blessed souls to discover themselves...to realize and reap the fruits of their accomplishment who am I to spoil the fun and let the cat out of the bag...

Yeah, so what I thought I will write about instead is a few things that I have learnt and unlearnt in the last one year at this place....in a B-school...just like every institute has something good to teach you something for you to take along with you so has been this institute...The first thing that is notice worthy here is the batch unity....for an external person who is not a part of the system the batch will seem all integrated and frenship flourishing from all sectors from prompting answers from behind when a question is asked in the class by a prof. to helping get a pass grade in the exam...helping get decent scores in a presentation by pre-set and match fixed questions promptly thrown upon the presenter...to generously distributing the solution of assignments to the whole batch 1 hr before the submission...to proxying attendance ....yes, you guessed it right honesty and sincerity are obsolete words here......yeah they are the same kids who were competing against each other in the entrance exam CAT/XAT and in the GD/PI to secure a seat in this place...its amazing to see the batch spirit...at the same time there are these gossiping rounds as well...not to dispense with that...now the next thing you get to learn is that of the survival of the fittest....slightly tilted towards survival of the smartest...yes, you need to be smart to survive in the business world sir not just be fit...that’s an old saying not relevant in today’s world...so why not practise these tactics right from the B-school...oh did I contradict myself here...is it contradicting when I say that there is a good batch spirit with all generous helping hands spread out all over the place...and again when I say only the smart can survive...well so here you are...a place with a bundle of contradictions....yes, B-school you are talking of aren’t you....it is indeed a bundle of contradictions...the more you question the law and the logic the more you will end up confusing yourself...its a place away from the world where no logic rules.....only business rules...A world of business it is after all...frims and fancies....a place where everything glitters...A place where you can unlearn a few things learnt earlier and learn a few new techniques to probably unlearn them in the future....but nevertheless its a place where you enjoy college days...back to good old college days...where marks rule you and you rule over the marks...no bosses here to haunt you over...no more appraisal nightmares...the talks would have now transformed from gossiping about the supervisors to cursing the insane assignments thrown over you by profs....a few courses that you njoy and a few courses that you absolutely hate...grade sheets again!.....college b’day bumps....attack on good food....night outs for assignments as well as movies....

Putting all in just three words...’Coffee and Cream’

2009-01-11T19:15:00.001+05:30

Its been a long long time since I have posted anything...I have even started to think that I seem to have nothing to post about..so today I thot let me see what all things can I sit here and write about...the irony is that I always used to think after I join a B-school I shall post everyday about my experiences ...as I will have so much new to write about. Little did I know that I will end up in a schedule where even for taking a breath you need to manage your time...

But look at the paradox here..as such the schedule keeps us so busy that I don’t get to see my roommate for days together at times although we are sharing a room in the hostel and from the last few days we have been absolutely free...and anyone we meet across everyone seems to be complaining of the ample amount of time with nothing to do. But then I am enjoying the leisure...it seems like ages since I have got some time to myself...since I have sat and reiterated on all the things...I had always wished I got some time to myself and today I have all the time for myself...I feel like hugging myself in glee...I am sure my friends are wondering as to how can I spend so much time alone in a room without going out anywhere...but I like spending time with myself...I don’t seem to require any company or going out I don’t know why...

So what have I been doing then all these days being absolutely free...first of all I have started to love this idea of getting up in the morning and telling myself wow absolutely upto me to do whatever I want...no engagements whatsoever....then keep fiddling with my laptop...watch some movies...watch friends...talk to my mother and scrap friends on orkut...catch up with songs...catch up with reading...wish a tv was also here...and spend a lot of time day dreaming...so that’s how I have been spending time...I am sure I can enjoy like this for all the coming days J!!

Apart from this well a year in MBA is going to come to an end very soon...and there have been a few learnings...both ways...good and bad....Bad as in I have realized that when there seems to be no solution for a situation either we have to take the situation as it is without any complaints or fight the situation or just beat it with some tactics...and if you don’t learn to do the latter two then you have to do the former and you end up as a loser...Maybe that’s how life is even...what everybody accepts and raises no voice about ends up becoming a rule and to live through it either you have to accept or beat it...Somehow I have understood how dishonesty and other vices in the society breeds after spending a year in a B-school...somehow the world of business which seemed to look all rosy and nice from far seems to have shown the true ugliness of dishonesty and fraud in its every nook and corner. Now the mantra seems to be “survival of the smartest” in place of “survival of the fittest”. But then there are a few good things also....there is this batch spirit which no one can beat...how we all seem to take all the vices in as a batch and seem to be emerging out of it together. How one person stumbles and there are four hands all ready to pick him up and set him ready to face the storm together with all the vigour.

So, that’s how life’s been so far with a lot of other surprises yet to be unfolded....and a lot of my batchmates seem to be tying the knot this year....so nice to see everyone happy finding life partners and all set to start with their new lives...and let me now again get back to my day dreaming and hopefully delve into better things the next time I post J...

My Best Friend's Wedding....

2009-01-11T18:11:00.000+05:30

Its been a decade probably...I don’t remember...just a few shards of the memory of that painful separation just come alive at times...why was it painful even...doesn’t seem so now though..I know she must be happy now starting a new life ...making a new home for herself...stepping into a new world...would be awaiting the new happiness...would she have even thought of me...may be she would have...or atleast let me tell that to myself in order to please me..

Can I call our relationship as a beautiful friendship that we had experienced for 6 long years...I don’t know why but it sounds hollow now...but then yes we were friends...very good friends infact...a few misunderstandings and that had put an end....I am sure we both must have emerged stronger after that but I don’t know about her...although I still dream at times that we both are again together and are again exploring the depth of frenship just as we had done when we were kids...and today I feel so happy for her when I hear that she’s found her soul mate....I wish I was there...wud I have gone for her wedding...but she didn’t invite me...but then even I had not invited her isn’t it!!I guess every relationship that ends just ends because a certain time comes when both parties although willing to yield are not ready to do so because none is aware about the other’s willingness...I still don’t understand how can one erase all the memories of the other and move out of a friendship or any relationship for that matter....but it seems to be so common these days isn’t it...I mean friendship is still nothing...people seem to be walking in and out of all kinds of relationships....may be these things are suppose to be taken sportively!!....like change which is inevitable...but then whatever it is I can’t help myself remember her today and wish for her happiness...

I still remember How I used to tease her till she used to blush all red about what all we all will be doing in her marriage...How we would walk on to the Dias and trouble her husband...what fun we are going to have with her wedding gift...all those discussions then I seem to remember them crystal clear. But, little did we both know then that the day will definitely come in both our lives when we will be standing on the dias but just that the other one will not be there doing all the mischief that we had talked off once...So, that leaves me with just a few heartfelt wishes and a post on my best friend’s wedding.

A practical life

2008-11-21T20:34:00.000+05:30

A hurried call of 10 min Just enough to say How was ur day??U too busy now is it??Ok will call you back when I am free..

About 15min off to close your eyes to catch a short nap and realize its been ages since you have called up home...

Hear to a song playing on the TV in the mess while having food and realizing it was once your favourite song for which you used to run and come wherever you were in the house to just get a glimpse of the video...and everyone at home made fun of u....whereas now it plays and you just smile at yourself and continue gulping down some food hurriedly

Remembering the last time you watched a movie with ma and you laughing over the Oscar winning performance of the actors in the movie

The last time you and your brother had a fight over the remote

When was the last time you planned and re-planned over a family trip and only realized that when you set off for the trip all the planning ended up in shambles

Talked for hrs over the phone till you were found sleeping with ur mobile near ur ear in the morning

Last time you fell in love with a song and heard to it over and over again

And when you sit and ponder over the above things a few questions linger in your mind...can there be a life which goes a little slower...where you don’t look at the time and say “Gosh its already time...wish I had a few more hrs in the day”...where you don’t look at ur peer and tell urself “need to work harder...before I am left behind”....where you don’t look for ur family and friends in a list of names in the phonebook of your mobile....where you don’t have to tell your near and dear ones “ll call u back when I am a little free...no time right now...plz understand I have a hectic schedule”...where you work for urself and not for others...where when you are feeling a little low and need a shoulder to lean on u don’t have to end up finding none for either everyone’s far away or you are not near them or simply because they too have as hectic a schedule as you do....a life where people have the time to talk things which isn’t strictly business....a life where things go at a steady pace in which each and everyone has time for everything....where life is not starkly practical in the face as it seems to be...where when you complain you are not said “Now don’t be immature...be practical”...where you don’t need to be called mature and understand that emotions of people have been washed away with the scurrying of people to catch up with the fast moving practical life and they have no time to loose on such silly impractical things...

Sometimes I really wish life had remained as simple as it had been in the earlier days...people earned a small income working in govt offices...returning home every day at 5-6 in the eve spending time with family...not having these high desires of having a LCD or Plasma tv at home or owning a BMW...simply because they just didn’t exist...life must have been filled with so much leisure with the entire family managing to stay close by sharing happiness living life...life wudn’t have been lived as practically as it is being lived by us now...and may be if I had posted a post then with all this stuff no one would have smirked and told me like now “c’mon be practical yaar...what are u cribbing about...now will you leave ur post grad and get back home”...and I ll only heave a sigh and answer “No I ll not....life has to be lived practically afterall...And what have I been doing God how much time did I waste lecturing abt life and its practicality...how stupid!!”

A Taste of Mumbai

2008-10-06T16:55:00.000+05:30

I sat leisurely on a couch on one windy day by the window and just let myself drift away …what was I doing…was I dreaming…
A small little flat with a balcony looking over an over-crowded city…teeming with people..wide long roads seeming to stretch endlessly..sky scrapping buildings looking as if a few more storeys and it would touch the sky…a land where the twinking stars announce the start of a new day…the sun rises only to be greeted with a wide grin by the people who have learnt to rise before the sun…a land where everyone greets every other person with a smile travelling together hand in hand…a city where there is unity in diversity where a person cleaning the train and the person managing the intra city railways travel together in a local train side by side sharing newspaper and breakfast…a city where hard work is the only means to earn your day’s meal…a city where life is difficult yet so fulfilling.. A place where every moment you wish to pause time and before you do so another moment passes by...

I smiled to myself and thought what are you dreaming of…the city of dreams…and the city of dreams it was…

Happiness a myth

2008-09-04T22:53:00.001+05:30

Please don’t go by the title of the post since I am not intending to target my content of this post anywhere near to the title. Its just that I felt the title just resembles the state of the mind we are in right now just before our first end-term commences and the verdict for this term is declared. When we just started to feel that we feel no more...when we just started to smile and wonder when was the last time we smiled...when we just looked at the clock and wondered will I manage to pull off some sleep before dawn tomm...when 24 hrs seemed to be as unjustified in the day as the marks of our course ....when happiness seemed to be entwined with performance in the courses and seemed like a far away myth...there was a notice there declaring a sentence ...infact another sentence to death...attendance compulsory....Kathakali performance in audi at 7 P.M.
A hue and cry in the batch...statements like “what the hell is going on??”...”Abey end term mein kathakali karne se pass karenge kya?”....”Yaar bas yahi baki tha ab karne ko...seedha goli ya hang kyun nahi kar dete”...and a lot other comments.But notice was from dean office so no one dared to disobey and meek like a mice the batch trotted to the audi at sharp 7 in the evening after re-planning and rescheduling the work to be done for the assignments to be submitted...re-planning the meetings and subtracting another two hrs from the 4 hrs of sleep that you thot u could manage today. The dance started with a brief intro which went conveniently ignored and unheard by the audience...I wonder if few of them even knew that they had come to watch Kathakali and not Bharatnatyam...and then began the show with all the hullabaloo hushed.
And as the performers entered the arena a silence fell through the audience. They were witnessing something that most of them had watched only on our television sets but not in real. The two performers who started the dance sequence dressed in the attire of Kathakali with all the expressions on their faces that you got to watch in real was definitely captivating. And as the dance progressed with the narration of Goddess Sati and Shiva in Kailash not being invited to the ceremonial Yagyan performed by Daksha Sati’s father the audience took in all with plain admiration.And the best part which came in next was the performers getting of the stage and performing right in between the audience which took the audience by surprise and enthralled them to the core .The spellbound audience couldn’t help but just bring down the audi with a standing ovation forgetting about the time imbalance that the event had brought in their busy schedule...forgetting about the impending horror of the monstrous exams waiting to devour them in two days time...forgetting to wait and think if they have the time to smile...forgetting to calculate what effect it will have on my performance in the next exam....everyone just enjoyed, smiled, applauded and washed away all their apprehensions and tension in the mesmerizing event of the kathakali dance...which transformed all the remarks made earlier in the day to a wide grin on the face and a massive admiration for the performers and the institute for making this performance a success. So happiness didn’t seem to be a myth afterall ...may be its just a myth to think so!!

Term 1 Coming to an end

2008-08-31T03:03:00.000+05:30

Yes, believe it or not its one term into our path to attain an MBA degree...our two years league yet to be established and fulfilled. Its like yesterday I had been waiting to join XIM and was running about collecting and arranging my documents for the joining formalities to be fulfilled and its already one term coming to an end. With quite a few learnings that have been driven home here we poor mortals wait for the wrath of end-terms to befall us. With the freshers fresh out of college driving us to worry about grades more than we are currently doing and the work ex people driving us to the learning mode and making us focussed more on what you are looking for in the course...and between both these your lone self trying to surpass all this and run away into the glory of your world of njoyment to njoy a peaceful nap...as Eco ma’am would put it in her words “the opportunity cost” that you seem to realize now ...which you had paid by giving up those days of lazing about and sleeping on the weekends and not being on your toes all the time with the endless series of classes, quizzes, assignments and projects hovering above your head all the time.

With the term 1 coming to a close a lot of things seem to have got clearer as to what could have been a better way to manage your term..where exactly you goofed up and why...what you need to target on in the next term which you have missed doing in this term...and all your areas of improvement. Among all the things that term 1 had taught us the biggest thing had been time management I guess....although its still a long way to go before you can declare yourself to have expertised on it...but then it atleast taught you how to manage a whole working day with classes till 9 P.M in the night the next day with a heap of work load of assignments and presentations to go when you had just got around 2 hrs of sleep in the last 24 Hrs and still try to keep ur brain alive and in working condition. A lot others have picked up on networking skills too...its nice to see them having mingled with the batch so easily...a trait that needs conscious effort from your end if you belong to the same kind of specimen as me...but a trait that is indeed a talent and a strength if excelled at.But in all this learning there is something that people have unlearnt here too....could be termed as seriousness..could be termed as honesty. Seriousness because you know if one person in your group is serious about the submission of the assignment within the deadline then the rest of the group seems to relax and sit laid back....and honesty because if one person in the class has studied and come then the rest of the class can party that night since all have acquired the talent of scoring the same marks as the person who had studied the next day.

So, probably somewhere the balance has struck between learning and unlearning resulting in null again.....has it or has it not???..... probably it will get discovered in the days to come!!

Simply Awesome!!

2008-08-11T03:38:00.001+05:30

I love that feeling when I walk down the road leading to my hostel from the insti all alone in the darkness of the night ...past midnight...with a cup of coffee in one hand and a packet of chips in other...listening to the silence of the darkness around me...humming a song to myself as the light drizzle of the rain keeps sprinkling over me like holy water being sprayed down from the sky. I love listening to the eerie noise of the insects as I walk down finishing my coffee on the way and sit with my companion ...songs and laptop in my room and spend time with myself...typing down a mail without thinking...just typing down whatever comes to my mind, going thru the blogs of others and peeking a little into each one’s life relating it to mine...sitting idle and just refreshing the past memories and smiling to myself while the melody of the songs keep playing in my ear...looking at the snaps of near and dear ones and feeling them far but still close...painting up new dreams on the canvas of my imaginations and then finally feeling the sleep engulf me and overpower me till I give up on my contentment and get carried away with it.

Hapazard...

2008-08-10T03:47:00.000+05:30

Amidst all the hustle bustle ....Amidst all the noise I feel the silence and the vacuum of the distance move stealthily and engulf the passing time.

Time which seems to go at a lightning speed yet slow enough to creep till that moment much waited for seems to be endlessly away .....fading away quickly from sight

Thoughts seem to be lingering far away in that subconscious mind ...deep down somewhere there...just peeking now and then signifying its presence

And I just close my eyes and say just take me away....deep into that land where distance, time and thoughts just seem to fade away

Where is the time??

2008-08-10T03:43:00.000+05:30

After another hectic week of quizzes, assignments and presentations finally there is some time today to just sit back and relax a bit. So, here goes my new post ....Its like one of those times when you just feel like typing away on the keyboard not having anything specific to type. You have a whole lot of thots lingering on the top of ur mind yet nothing that you can think of penning down...but still you want to write ...write something down. Doesn’t it happen at times that you just feel like letting urself out....you are so overwhelmed with thots that you just feel like blurting them out somewhere and when you actually find that all your near and dear ones are far away and the only option you have is to sit and pen ur thots down on a paper you just keep holding the pen and nothing seems to surface...

This reminds me of this class presentation of ours which had happened a few days ago. The topic was “Effect of Technology on Communication”. As usual we , a lot of busy bees , started off our preparation for presentation at 2 ‘o clock in the night...working in a group of ten people. Each one of us putting forth numerous ideas and creativity in place and working hard to make it big enough for the class not to doze off and gain atleast a percent of entertainment from it if not wisdom. We worked almost the entire night searching for videos , information, brainstorming on various role plays and finally came up with the final presentation....which only ended up with the projector not working in the class and we trying to manage inspite of it. Now the irony of the situation is that ten of us worked hard to make the presentation and the slides but none of us actually sat down to take out time and communicate on a lighter note among ourselves in person...we were all busy trying to get done with the work and catch some sleep considering that sleep is a very rare commodity in a B-school. And after the presentation one comment given by our instructor brought a second’s stroke of thot passing each and everyone’s face in the class....when she said “ We say technology has improved and world has become a smaller place...we can easily contact our near and dear ones within seconds thru mobiles, e-mails etc but don’t you think the smaller the world is becoming in terms of technology getting us closer the larger are the distances becoming in terms of emotional distances” ...the statement is so true...distances definitely do make a difference. No matter how much you try to maintain contact thru the technology the gap is always there. There is no substitute for you meeting in person...feeling their touch...seeing them smile...their expressions..their concern when you sit close to them and speak face to face. And more than that I guess the compromise that we do with our relationships blaming the busy schedule is what again a matter to brood on.

Like, I just cut down on my calls to home bcoz I thot I was running short of time bcoz of my schedule. My friend stopped coming online because she was not finding time out of her office tasks. So technology making world a smaller place where does it come into picture...if we can compromise on tedious tasks of letter writing and e-mailing and go for chatting and voice conferencing in keeping in touch we can also compromise on relations by looking for more shorter ways of communicating by saying that we are short of time. So, even if the physical distance is cut down upon with technology in place in order to make use of the same to bring down the emotional distances as well is to spare some time....and I guess there cannot be any technology here which can be sought for in order to find a shortcut. So when I sit here and think I wish there was someone here I could just talk out to the answer I wud get in return wud be the same as I wud have given “Where is the time?”

Settling with the unsettlement

2008-08-04T01:22:00.000+05:30

Yes, so now we the PGDM batch of 2008 are beginning to settle down I guess what... with the first outing trip of the batch in the midst of the hectic schedule and with two tests to go off tomm...if you are getting me wrong here..then let me correct you. No, it doesn’t mean we have mastered as to how to manage time and as to how to deal with the seven courses on hand this trimester. Its just that we have stopped complaining...we have accepted that a few words like a peaceful sleep, sitting down to relish some food, lazing about in those early hrs of the morning, day-dreaming (for that matter dreaming in the nights also), a nice long walk, listening to a nice lovely song over and over again have all become those unattainable and unheard dreams. Yes, we have finished our mid-terms that brings us to exactly half way of the first term and we have I guess successfully learnt now to settle with the unsettlement..a deal struck there...and signed.
Talking about the courses, seven courses to be mastered over in this trimester.... Can’t really talk about all in this post ....starting with Financial Accounting...favourite course of the batch. Although its that number crunching and ultra confusing course where you don’t know which side of the balancing equation does your financial item find a place and the balancing of the equations reminds you of those chemistry equations which we were cribbing to balance in our childhood. Somehow the accounting equations take me back to the suburbs of fourth – fifth standard where a balanced eq was the next biggest achievement nxt to that of Einstien’s.
Coming to the next course which is on of my fav....Economics.Now why do I like that course...well, its as good as giving an answer to the question as to why do I like chocolates.Probably I like the simplicity the course has about it. Simplicity as in what the course teaches you is everything that you have always known but you never knew the logic behind how the things took place. Its like rediscovering everything all over again....understanding the logic behind the whole lot of things.So, these are the two courses which have so far won me over and I have fallen for. Other courses include communication which is the only class where you can manage to yawn, sleep, njoy and do everything that you have always wanted to do when a heavy class is going on. Its another of our favourite classes because not only the course is light but the way ma’am handles it actually helps you to relax and put up a smile and listen to the class. And four other courses added to the term HRM,MC,QM and OB....adding stars to the already hectic schedule. And the binary digit marks acquired now and then are the added flavours to the schedule. But the best part of doing an MBA apart from the challenging courses are the group assignments and other group activities where in you get to do a lot of learning from the other people in your batch...the networking ability that you develop....something that every MBAite tries to add to their pool of talents.And what with the unending series of tests,quizzes, assignments and presentations.....the only thing that can be said...the higher the unsettlement the more the fun and the more the settlement with the same J.

2008-08-03T13:07:00.000+05:30

And I said...

Will you let me hold your hand...

And all that he did was just smile and say...

Let me hold on to yours....

Just the Beginning!!

2008-07-20T01:30:00.000+05:30

Its been a while since I have had some time off to sit and write down something. The last month had gone past so fast that sometimes I really need to sit and reflect when did the time fly past me...did I even realize.So here I am...in my new home...yes, hostel again...my dwelling place for the next two whole years.Needless to tell that this place reminds me of each and every moment of my days in BITS....it just sometimes gives me the feeling that I am walking on those roads leading to the insti again...a nostalgia...a longing to go back in time.The same old feeling of everything new around...an entire era transformed and change being the buzz word for the next few months.
Courses,assignments and tests pouring over...followed by interactive sessions,cultural functions and DJs...with hardly any time to blink.A new face everywhere...the stranger the feeling the more you feel like just vanishing from the spot getting back to ur older self and older life the more everything around seems to pull you back to the pavilion.Questions teeming in your mind.... will I be able to make a mark here...will I start feeling at home...which unkown face is going to befriend me and transform the distance between us to frenship.As I sit here and write this post there are a whole lot of things that I feel like doing...I would like to prepare for the next test...I would like to catch on some sleep...I would like to write more...I would like to maybe just go back in time a little...go back to my world...I would like to stay here and re-discover myself........wud like the wait to get over....wud like to just keep listening to you....and then when I see the bridge between the night and the day melting before my eyes I tell myself is that sleep that is overpowering me or is it the other way round.And I tell myself just wait and watch...probably a lot more things lying around the corner...this is just the beginning!!

Summer Vaccation

2008-05-12T00:34:00.000+05:30

Its almost a decade since the word “summer vacation” has sounded so very fascinating to me…since I eagerly waited for the exam bell to ring on the day of the last annual exam paper and school to be declared closed for two whole months…the chaos following the bell all students running all over each other to the arms of their parents waiting outside shouting screaming “summer hols” “summer hols”.And here I am ….as I see the small kids playing in the park infront of our building…putting up charts of paintings all over the building walls..falling over the cycles and skates trying to master the art of cycling and skating…hunting for nook and corners playing hide and seek..in short making the best of their hols I am sitting leisurely watching them …njoying mine :)!Yeah, after a decade I have now got to njoy a month and a half of summer vacation…and summer vacation it is!!A hazzle free life…no getting up in the morning and rushing to office..no submission of project meeting deadlines…no more of those brawls with leads…no more of filling in of your efforts…no more of being so occupied so as to find time for taking a breath in peace.A blissful life.Sleep…eat…watch movies…sleep…read novels..shop..sleep..and njoy doing nothing..njoy the leisure.The concept of spending summer vacation has changed though…and has undergone a transition with passing time …earlier it was like chalking out a plan as to what all fun things you wanted to do this vacation and now its like you are njoying doing nothing :)!!

This feeling of njoying the nothingness is always there when you are in that period of wait..when you know that you are going to venture into a new world in a short while and you are just preparing yourself…giving yourself time…just waiting quietly smiling for the doors to be ajar…and along with it somewhere there is a sinking feeling sometimes… hope you will be able to manage everything on your own…hope you will not fall short for anything and will stand upto ur expectations..and then there is always the excitement around to engulf you in as you are stepping out of your current world. Life is so strange really…sometimes you want to just fast forward life and see ahead what is in store for you..is it just going to continue the way it is…what are you heading to and sometimes you just know where your life is going..where its taking you..and you just wait with that smile of certainty …waiting to discover another set of things that life’s got in store.

The same kind of feeling that I had felt when I was leaving home for the first time while going for my engineering…the same excitement and the same nervousness and again the same reassuring smile from my mother and hug from my father as they were seeing me off at the station :)

On my last working day

2008-04-25T16:11:00.000+05:30

Hi one and all,

After spending over two and half years here in the ODC and experiencing, learning, growing , falling and exploring new relations and circumstances bidding an adieu sure does feel a little overwhelming.

It would definitely remain a memorable time that I got to spend with you all here. And as I welcome this change to explore another new field ,by pursuing higher studies in MBA ,I hope the learning that I have imbibed here grows and moulds further . Hope I carry forward the wisdom gained and the acquaintances and friends along as well.

Wishing one and all the very best for their future endeavours. Adieu till our paths cross again.

Regards,

Start of Another CountDown :)!

2008-04-18T18:13:00.000+05:30

A countdown to begin…
In just about a week’s time all the known faces will fade away to the dimly lit memory lanes…some of them will remain as memories and some in reality in contact…another list of incidents added and stacked away to be remembered and cherished as time progresses. Nostalgic wouldn’t really be the right word to use…. I know I am not but then I can’t even say this that I will not miss my system which has befriended me the last two and half years of my stay here…the hot cup of choco almond which has always been there to help me rejuvenate my spirits…the lunch time gossiping and leg-pulling always there to bring a smile on whenever remembered…the sudden announcements of pani puri treats where you realize you are the one who’s got to treat after happily having had your share of the delicacy…and the taste (both bitter and sweet) of professionalism….those few leads under whom you had worked and really admired their dedication…and those that you didn’t…bouts of unprofessional out-bursts in the team…chocolates and sweets distribution…team-outings…gossips…cribbings…the list of songs playing on your winamp which keep assuring you that they can just pull you out of anything and everything just that you need to put on your ear phones …..and there goes an unending list.
But above all there is one huge learning that any profession gives you and which no degree can ever teach and that is people management….dealing with various kinds of people is one thing that you just can’t get to learn in any institute.The wisdom of taking all kinds of people in your stride is one talent that I guess cannot be mastered in a short time. Its infact a continuous learning process that keeps growing as the years of experience keep accumulating. Its really interesting to observe the various ways in people take up their responsibilities…the different ways they tackle their tasks…and the most appreciable among them are those who work in a planned way and in the most organized manner.And its truly said the true nature of a person can be perceived only by observing how the person handles high-pressure situations. Different people handle pressure in different ways…and keeping your composure under pressure is one art that every individual tries his best to learn I guess.People who have already mastered this art really deserve an accolade.And when you get to work under such a supervisor or module lead you got to call yourself the luckiest of the whole lot.And the third learning would be balancing work and home and friends. A perfect balance maintained between your personal and professional life a virtue which needs conscious effort from your end.Three learnings that your profession strives to teach you.Hope these learnings go a long way and are moulded and groomed further in the coming days.
One interesting question that I was posed a few days back was…what is the need for you to take up a job or go for higher studies??You can happily relax at home and njoy isn’t it??Somehow I have never understood till date what my answer to such questions should be.I usually answer saying “Good suggestion…Thanks”.But I just wonder if I start thinking on those lines then what was the need for me to study either…could have happily sat and njoyed my childhood at home isn’t it…why be literate also!!Thankfully, not everyone thinks that way otherwise half the population would be illiterate today.Had it been not for my profession I would have had no identity of my own…no learnings and wisdom would have been driven home…I would have been just another being cocooned in a closed world unaware of what an independent identity means…how does the sense of achievement feel. Anyways, whatever it is…different people have different perceptions.And questions like these just cannot be answered.
So now that I have witnessed the taste of having a unique identity and have njoyed my short term professional life I will really miss a few cherished moments that I have been fortunate to experience in this place.But that is life isn’t it…as long as you have all the pleasure of being in the moment you don’t realize it…and the realization dawns only when you leave those moments behind you and advance to explore new events of your life…and then you can only look back and think about the moments that have passed and just smile quietly to yourself till the next countdown starts ticking away :)!

So this was it!

2008-04-11T19:04:00.000+05:30

There are these times when you actually feel that you are a mere spectator and life has taken complete control over itself…the reigns of life have slipped out of your hands and your role is to just see it …as it is going …with a broad smile..gazing at the way it makes its way through… curving here…turning there..and gliding through, past all obstacles..above all hindrances….proceeding ,accomplishing…and breaking thru.Yeah, that’s how I exactly feel now when I am being asked “oh are you going for higher studies”…”Got thru MBA is it??”..”It had always been your aspiration right”…”All the best.Good to hear you made it”.And I can just smile but do anything when people ask me “So, happy now…must be feeling on top of world right??”.
I am really not sure if I am feeling that way.MBA …pursuing and aspiring for it had been an amazing process….I had taken the decision over night just because I thot I wanted something on hand to keep me occupied…to struggle for …and MBA entrance exams had been my choice…. not sure when my over-night decision grew into a career decision and a reason for perseverance and a yearning to do an MBA.Giving up…breaking down…getting up and trying again…squeezing out time off the schedule became a regular habit.And in this whole process pain of not making it or failure became insignificant so much so that making it thru or not also has started seeming insignificant somehow…
Just like I have mentioned in the beginning of the post …all through out your journey of perseverance you try to hold on infact cling on to the reigns of your life in your hands and try hard to keep it on track and in the process you are bruised badly, you are hurt, you fall, rise, experience the worst and finally when you stop bothering about whether the bruises pain any longer or not….whether you bother any longer if you are clinging onto the reigns or not, that’s when life just takes on itself the control and you can do nothing but watch smiling and thinking so this was it…was it!! :)
So XIMB it will be then…the place where I would pursue my MBA dream…another new beginning.Another hostel room all set to welcome me and become my home for the next two years.Another set of strangers waiting to become acquaintance and then convert to friends.In another two months I would be on a new campus ….which is awaiting to unfold a series of tests,assignments,lectures,presentatitons,friends,night-outs,treats,b-day bumps,grades,vacations,projects….all to be re-lived again.Hope I make the best of it.Hope I stand to its expectations of me….especially since this time pursuing this degree would not just mean me just acquiring my dream of a Post Graduation but a lot more added to it….a lot other things that have gone hand in hand with it…a lot of support and sacrifice to which I need to stand up for…hope all that has started off well will end well one day me standing up for everything… and me posting on that one day just like today…so this was it :)!

Dreams Galore

2008-03-14T18:28:00.000+05:30

Feet deep rooted to the ground and imaginations flying high
Thousands of dreams from nowhere shadowing your thoughts
Overwhelming to see how intricately woven they could be
A shade of apprehension
Diversified and mixed colours as colourful as the rainbow
Foggy mornings…dew drops…
whip of wind carrying light drops of rain
A few words far and between
A light melodious tune playing far away
Falling snow
And a light smile at the end …

Strange!!

2008-03-14T12:50:00.000+05:30

Yeah, ‘Strange’ that is the word that I can use rightly I guess. Unexpectedly strange it was…..that is all I can say. An exam for which I left all my onsite opportunities…all my weekend’s leisure and fun…all my night’s cosy sleep..all the recent movies…Life had just been working non-stop during the day just to meet the targets ensuring that I get to reach home atleast an hr early to prepare. And finally yesterday when I was standing there waiting for my turn of the interview call I had a strange feeling…I just wanted to run away from that place. I didn’t want to be questioned as to why I want to go for an MBA…what do I plan doing…Why aspiring to start an Industry and in what sector…What my hobbies were…what I like to read…what specialization am I looking for…why joined IT industry…what was the meaning of my name….what my strengths and weaknesses were etc etc. I just didn’t want to answer any of those questions anymore. I just didn’t want to find reasons and give a concocted answer to all those questions that are asked time and again in these MBA interviews.
A simple answer that I have…its always been my ambition and a dream of mine to go for higher studies in India…MBA interested me among the limited options of higher studies present here and that’s why I want to go for it. Plain and simple… just to fulfil my ambition…not for money…not for a career change…not to become an entrepreneur or a CEO of any organization…not to see my photo on the front cover of any business magazine….just want to be a post graduate for my own satisfaction to fulfil my own dream that’s it…now will you give me a seat !!And the answer would be ‘No’ ofcourse…why?? Because that is a very plain answer…nothing great about the answer…its not concocted and distorted as per everyone’s expectations…the answer has to sound more promising …more substantial…with some added masala (salt and pepper would do it even better).I want to become an entrepreneur…. 5 on 5 points…I wish to do some value add to the society by starting an industry of my own keeping social good in mind …wow cent percent!!
What if I say I don’t have such sky high dreams…want to lead a simple life with none of these added on frills…I might even decide to become a home-maker if I feel my ambitions are coming in the way of my family and go for social service in my leisure …and for sure my name will be crossed right then on their list of calls. What is the need to go for an MBA then would be the following question maybe…and what can I say?? Should I say do you think all those people passing out from an MBA college are actually serving the society …is everyone really thinking of social good…and How many are staying back in India first of all…..and how many of them are going to become entrepreneurs!! Why can’t someone pursue MBA out of sheer interest…not looking for a concrete outcome as such out of the degree…and put the knowledge gained to some good use as and how the time progresses…not necessarily becoming an entrepreneur/CEO or starting up an industry of your own or earning a huge package.
All of a sudden I seem to have given up on these interviews…or is it on myself…I am not sure. I want to be away from these added on frills and put-up answers…I don’t feel like stretching my imaginations beyond myself to find an answer to all those questions and framing convincing answers…I do not want to sound honest when in actual I am not. May be MBA is not my cup of tea anymore. I am not able to place myself in a put-up world. I am just finding it ‘Strange’….a ‘Strange’ world it is the world of business…everything framed and put in a golden frame for outside people to be lured by the magnificence and one single honest and simple answer will be a bland black mark in the golden frame. But , although we all know the stark truth behind it we all are still trying hard to pursue it…frame more and more convincing answers and step into the world of frills and fancies…into the golden frame…….we are ready to make all sacrifices to be a part of it .And what more can I say than saying that its really ‘Strange’. And I am sure one year down the line I will again be preparing, I will again be sitting in some interview hall waiting for my turn and again I will probably be feeling weird and strange just the same way.

Malgudi Days - Relived

2008-02-26T22:37:00.000+05:30

Its been going so busy over the past few weeks that I have been hardly finding time to sit back and take a breath in peace.Days are just flying past without me realizing or acknowledging them I guess.And last weekend just before going to sleep I realized that in this busy schedule of mine I have not even been opening my bedroom window before dropping off to sleep.And when finally the window panes were ajar the cold gush of wind on my face made me just stand by near the window for a few minutes….feeling the cool breeze.The wind felt so very refreshing that u couldn’t just help but stand still there taking in the freshness along….being carried away along with the breeze.And in that lost state my glance fell on the slum area that is directly visible from my bedroom window.

Somehow whenever I look at those small huts and houses present in that slum I always get reminded of the serial “Malgudi days”.The most amazing thing about the people in that slum is that they are always in the mood of celebration.All round the year you see them organizing some or the other event in their place and you can hear the music and laughter in the air.Every evening they make sure that loud music is played and all the little kids of the slums are called and made to dance.The whole crowd of grown ups sit around the kids and encourage the kids with claps and cheer them.You can make out the pride in the little kids eyes for entertaining their folks and for the admiration that they are gaining in return for their performance.And when there is a festival the grown-ups are also not spared.Everyone of them is forced to perform and the kids do the cheering this time…it’s the kids turn now :)!Its so good to see the whole fun-filled group up from the Bedroom window.And every morning is greeted with hymns from the small little temple in the slum and you can see everyone right from a small kid to the elders offering their morning bows in the temple.

I wonder when I last made it to the nearby temple early in the morning.I wonder when did our society here last have an unplanned celebration or a get-together.I somehow feel we are all in such a hurry always that there is absolutely no time and importance given to such simple events in life that can add some cheer to it ….hurry to reach office…the honking vehicles that blare into ur ears right in the morning just like those morning hyms from the temple…hurry to meet deadlines set in task deliverables…to be noticed in the team and get a good appraisal….hurry to make a point in the group meetings and make ur presence noticed….hurry to catch up with an onsite assignment and make a few extra bucks and add a few extra stars to ur resume…hurry to make a seat in an MBA college to make a bigger job which is again directly proportional with the pay-package ..so the quicker the seat is grabbed the better….hurry to be among the first few in the queue to be served for lunch in order to get a little extra of the fries and sweet dish for the same pay……hurry to play ur way thru to reach the top of the career ladder quickly…..hurry to find a shorter route to success…hurry to catch the first bus home….and finally hurry to get back home and catch few extra hrs of sleep again with the blaring horns standing testimonial to it.A hurried world that we all live in everyday.Why we are all in so much hurry I do not know….why does patience have to take a back step….why everything in our world needs to be achieved in such a hurry who knows….probably that’s why even happiness and peace also gives us a hurried visit most of the times and goes away before we can realize!!

Sometimes I really wonder is it a different world down there in that slum.Malgudi days in its reality may be!!That short stories serial which used to be telecasted long ago on television…the small cheerful dream-town of Malgudi with its cheerful bunch of people celebrating every moment of life together in a different world altogether…..far from the busy schedule…far from the grim faces that u see everyday at work place…far from all work place related complicated politics….far from the complicated thot processes of people who have failed to realize simplicity and value it in the truest sense ages back…far from all the hurry and everything.A crowded little town with ultra simple people residing in it with absolute peace and cheer in the air living each and every moment of life in the simplest way possible miles away from the hurried busy world of the city .The slum and the people in the slum that I see from the window of my bedroom remind me of that serial always and how much I envy them. Long live their cheer and happiness which is so contagious that it will always bring a smile on all those faces who are viewing them from their bedroom windows.And thanks to them for making me realize that a little time off from the hurried schedule can feel so very fulfilling.

Yet another Valentine’s day :)!!

2008-02-15T00:24:00.000+05:30

So, yet another Valentine’s day it is. And today I don’t know why I got reminded of the way we used to celebrate Valentine’s day in college. It was not just any other day as it has become over the years for all those poor mortals like us deeply involved with our all time valentine that is work :P :)!!But yeah, when I now look back at the way Valentine’s day used to be celebrated in college it brings back a lot of memories….it was definitely not just another day…It never mattered to us as to who really had a valentine and who did not among us we nevertheless made sure we make the day special for ourselves. Apart from the tiny little gifts (not exceeding Rs 50 in price) that we used to buy for each other and make sure that every single person in the hostel wing is bestowed with the precious little gifts although it meant almost crashing the room doors if the poor girl has gone to sleep on Feb 13th midnight…there used to be a lot of enthusiasm in the air…or do I call love in the air :P…yeah, I could just that the love was for the tiny miny gifts :))!!We made sure that each of us were dressed in something close to red on that day…close to because not many of us had red dresses and the rules were such that even a thread of red in ur dress would do :)!!And not to forget about the wonderfully planned pranks that we used to play on each other….we would carefully order for a pink rose targeting the most innocent and gullible mortal among us as the victim and plant the rose on the poor soul’s door…the rest of the events that followed this does not need a description…its obvious that the poor soul would be tormented till she is close to freaking out and that’s when the actual truth would come out followed by a thunderous guffaw :)!! And there were even a few of us who used to buy gifts for themselves , wrap it up with a nice beautiful gift wrapper and open it at dot 12 ‘o clock and celebrate th day…no matter how crazy it sounds but it had its own excitement :)!!And ofcourse a good dinner in those five star dhabas always topped it all.
And now those sweet little celebrations seem to have gone by long long ago covered with layers of responsibilities and priorities…but even then they do lie somewhere back in the mind and surface on these special days called “Valentine’s Day” :)!!I have heard many a people referring to such days as waste of time…for that matter few people don’t even give much relevance to b’day celebrations and other such special occasions…they are even referred to girly stuff sometimes.But girly stuff or not all such days do hold some relevance and the significance is that they never fail to bring up a nice wide smile keeping up their relevance and speciallity.So, inspite of the grim an serious faces around typing away in fury on the keyboard….inspite of the horror of the approaching deadlines of code-submissions…inspite of everything the day 14th Feb whenever you see this date on the calendar it does bring back all the dust laden memories back.And you don’t feel like its just a ‘Yet another Valentine’s Day’ is it ??!! :) Wishing a very special Valentine’s Day to one and all :)!!

Stars in the Night Sky

2008-01-14T22:37:00.000+05:30

When I was a kid I used to look at the stars in the sky and try making out the outline of various constellations out of them!!Somehow I always used to feel that those twinkling and glittering stars were the passage to reach out to God…a silly thought I know ….but as a kid you always have the liberty to imagine and believe all sorts of weird things. Staring at the star studded night sky had always been captivating…but over the years probably the thoughts have gradually out grown the innocence to more logical thinking…logical if it can be called…although anyday I would rate the innocence above the logical thoughts :).But today, when I again look at the night - star studded sky…. I feel carried away …and lost in a different world …as if someone is holding my hand and asking me to leave behind all my present and tread into a different world altogether…with the assurance of fresher and more promising dreams…with the assurance of a life more beautiful and fulfilling…with the assurance of everlasting happiness. I again feel bound by the same innocence as I used to feel when I was a kid…I again have started to believe probably the stars are indeed the passage way to God…and had carried my messages to him all these years. I can feel the stars smiling down at me from the night sky and asking me…any more messages to be passed my dear….we are all there listening to you all the time:)!!

Year 2007 to a close :)!!

2007-12-25T09:11:00.000+05:30

Last few days have been pretty eventful with our account at work place being decorated with colourful ribbons and balloons and Christmas trees, sparkling stars and not to miss the snow clad Santa put up right at the reception. And who can ever make out that the smiling and greeting Santa at the reception is actually made out of a dustbin placed upside down and clad with paper and cotton. And there sits the Christmas tree right infront of the doorway beautifully decorated with colourful papers and tiny gift wrapped boxes and tiny little bells with bits of cotton depicting snow making it look all the more beautiful. So, that’s what people in the account have been doing effectively from the past few days…and I must say they have done a real good job…it feels so nice and cheerful walking down the floor with all the glitter around. Not to miss on those momentary blasts of the balloons right over the top of ur head while you are deep into your system :))!!Probably, the decorations in our account will remain till the New year’s eve…so we cannot escape witnessing each of those balloons bid a pompous farewell to all of us with a blast :)!!
And this new year I have gifted myself with three nice novels..”The Kite Runner”,”Snow” by Orhan Pamuk and “Devil wears Prada”.It feels so nice to see the neatly bounded books, with the smell of freshness that the newly bought books typically have around them…waiting to be devoured and re-discovered.I am still unable to decide which one to start with !!Someone at the office asked me if she could borrow one of them for me till I am done with the other two and I had to refuse.I don’t know why but I just can’t bring myself to lend unread books to people even if I am not reading them at that point. I got to read the book first before I lend it to someone.I know it sounds a bit strange but then I feel that every book that I lend I must be the first one to get acquainted with it before I let someone else to do so…afterall I am the owner…I need to own it in the true sense first.Well a few strange things that u do cannot really have a logical answer to them…u just like to do it in that way that’s it :)!
So, my new year seems to have already begun…with three new novels to go and what with celebrations and decorations all around the place..As for resolutions, well I have decided to get back to my reading…read more books and strengthen my hobby. Its been long since I actually sat back and done some reading for pleasure and its high time I get back to it.

2007 finally coming to a close…
some years when they end you just can’t believe that the year has already come to a close…they seem to just go so fast
Some years are very special…you remember them because some significant things of ur life happen in those years…
Some years you just don’t recollect bcoz u just never happen to look back at them….they seem to have no significance absolutely
But this year hadn’t been any of those…Although, I am sure this year will definitely stay as a remembrance…not only because I lost someone so dear to me but also because it had driven in a lot more learning and wisdom home where I understood that I had gone ahead one step more in being more matured and understanding life a little more than before. It had been a special year …special in its own way…and special enough to be looked back upon and smiled at :).

Yet , Once again

2007-12-14T00:11:00.000+05:30

Another year coming to a close
A year that had started off with few new aspirations and hopes
Although a few ambitions remained unfulfilled……but the learning will be there
A few achievements that had come my way
Bringing along a few smiles and a few celebrations
A few moments of silence that were there….. experiencing the stillness of death
Few new people that I met and learnt from
A few old relations that strengthened further by a year
A few days when life had paused and again had picked up pace
A few bumps and pitfalls that drove in some lessons home
Sunlit days and cold winters
A year that hadn’t been all that smooth but it did have its share of smiles and pauses
And yet, once again
A new year will unfold in another fortnight
With loads of wishes and celebrations
Bringing home new hopes and promises
I will look forward to it once again……. as each day of the New Year unfolds
Greeting it with new dreams and anticipations
And when I look back at this year
Yet, once again a smile will spread laden with unblemished memories

The Five People You Meet In Heaven

2007-12-05T18:05:00.000+05:30

I always thought that my writing about a particular novel that I liked reading wouldn’t do justice in actually being able to put it in words the way it captivated me and influenced me.But there is this one book that I had read way back which I keep thinking of very often. Everytime I hear anybody crib about how much they hate their present day or whenever I get frustrated with the way things are going on a particular day I remember this book and it surely helps by providing me immense solace. The book is ‘Five People You Meet in Heaven’ by Albom Mitch.I will not really get into details of the book here bcoz if I do I will seriously feel guilty for not doing justice to the book so well written by the author that it actually has an impact on the way you perceive things in life.This book talks about a person who after his death realises the true place where he belonged to ….the place which he had always hated to be in while he was living turns out to be the place where he decides to live till eternity.A beautiful book which goes into describing every minute details and learnings that can be achieved from all the different phases of life and puts across a subtle message….tht we really need to realize and appreciate what we possess in our lives.
Really, I wonder if we all assume that we have a choice and ask ourselves tht which phase of our lives would we choose as our final destination to stay for eternity….we might just end up deciding on the phase of life which we thot we had hated the most. Life is really strange isn’t it…as long as we have something we crave for what has passed.We long to go back to it and when we go back to it we again long for what we had possessed. Very rarely do we actually appreciate and enjoy doing what we possess currently.And why is it that we all look for an escape from what we have…there have been innumerable times when I have heard myself and others looking for an escape from the professional life we are leading….isn’t it the same profession we were longing for when we were in college.I think it’s a vicious circle. The book clearly outlines this fact….it makes u realize tht u actually unknowingly love doing what u think u want to escape from.
There is another book of Albom Mitch that I had loved reading “Tuesday’s with Morrie”.Another wonderful book unfolding many a subtle lessons and binding truths of life.These books are the ones that leave u thinking and ur thots lingering in and around them after u read them.They leave you with a complete new perspective towards life.And any amount of writing and appreciation just cannot put forth the pleasure and the learning that is derived by reading these books.I think I will buy a copy of each of these books and treasure them forever.

Sometimes.....

2007-12-03T18:48:00.000+05:30

Sometimes you just love the way it is
You love the way things are going
You just live in the moment….. living in the present
You don’t bother about what has passed…what the future has in store

Sometime you just love the way you are
You just enjoy being your crazy self
You don’t look for any changes
You don’t look for any acquaintance..just want to keep to urself

Sometimes you just don’t find the logic behind certain things
You don’t understand if you wanted them to happen or you didn’t
You wish you were equally immune to them as they are to you
Yet, you smile when you understand life cannot be questioned

Sometimes you feel like a loser
You feel lost for absolutely no reason
You just don’t find the strength to fight thru the odds…u question as to why me
Yet again you thank God for giving you so much already

Sometimes you just don’t want any changes
You want the things to continue as they are
You fall in love with the routine
You want to pause time or just be in that routine njoying it the way it is

Sometimes you just want to keep smiling without any reason
You just smile to urself …just like that..simply… for no reason
Yet sometimes, you just want to let the tears roll down without wiping them away
You just smile thru ur tears…wondering as to where did the tears come frm in the first place

Sometimes you just begin to hope with the begin of every new day
You wait for every sun rise…bringing in new hopes and dreams
You do not want the dusk to set in and bring the day to a close
Yet you njoy the silence of the night and do not want the dawn to break thru

….....

Going back to Teens…

2007-12-03T15:30:00.000+05:30

A Sunday tht started off with me over-sleeping and missing my mock exam…as usual :).Afterall winters are meant for sleeping well…. aren’t they… and who on earth is so courageous to break out of that cosy slumber under the blanket and go to write a boring mock….yes, it really needs a whole lot of courage to do that believe me!!Buy anyways, what was special about this weekend was that for a change I got down to do some girly girly stuff…yeah, it somehow took me back to those 17-18 years old teenage students when we used to get down to such stupidity….well, the gist of what had happened follows.
After a long long time my best fren and me decided to go for an outing together…we went together for lunch and it took us just abt 5 min to decide on a restaurant…afterall it was not the food that we were interested in!!We stepped into a veg restaurant and were happy that there was lunch buffet there on a weekend…which saved us from shelling out a few extra bucks.We went around tasting every food item that we could lay our hands on….finally the waiter out of desperation got the finger bowls and the cheque giving us a sign that u might just be thrown out if u don’t leave. We didn’t miss that smile and nod of the waiter at the payment counter while leaving though. :D!!
Then we decided to do some window shopping just for some time pass…my fren had to buy a perfume to gift someone and we literally brought the whole store down trying out all those perfumes put up there….poor person at that perfumes counter had no other go but join us in our stupidity…he too after a while started having fun with the perfumes along with us.We had an awesome time trying out each and every perfume…reviving our sense of smell with those coffee beans and again loosing it :D!!Finally, with all that racquet that we were creating there a lady from the Revlon store came to us for helping us out with our perfume buying spree and then called us to her store for showing some stuff around….
And that was one of the biggest mistakes that she made…!!She showed us all the lotions and all the Revlon make-up stuff that she had with her and we went on with our interrogation as to which lotion wud come to what use…with genuine curiosity on our faces.Finally, when the lady offered to try out some experimentation on us with her make-up stuff we decided it was high time we make a move.But before we could draw-back ourseleves we were there sitting and getting free make-up done.Now we prepared ourseleves mentally for the inevitable….we told the lady with all the innocence that we could gather that we were sorry we really don’t intend going for all that stuff.Initially that lady was taken aback…then we told her “ma’am do we look from any angle that we spend time on all this stuff…” we gave her a detailed explanation of our schedule and tastes and succeeded in getting her into a hearty laugh.Finally she ended up giving us small pouches as gifts although we got away without buying anything from her outlet :)!!
The whole episode just reminded me of the fun we used to have with those cranky shopkeepers in our college campus.If anyone of us had been troubled by any of those shopkeepers there we would gang up and go the next day and see to that we irritate him to such an extent that he ends up apologizing to the person whom he had troubled the previous day.We even used to go for window shopping to these make-up stores for time pass and drive those shopkeepers crazy….It just took me back to that teenage girly stuff that we used to enjoy doing at college especially on the days when an exam used to go flop.It just proves that we can still go back to our good old days of being as childish as we wish to be and have fun….forgetting and keeping aside all the grown-up stuff of our worlds.It just feels awesome to do all those stupidities and crazy stuff going back 6-7 yrs…leading a carefree life….just not caring as to what the world thinks of u.I guess sometimes u just need to leave things where they are and just go back a few steps and enjoy the childishness in you….it just gives u an wonderful feeling at the end of it!!

A few Quotes....

2007-11-28T12:18:00.000+05:30

“Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet”

"The promise of the rainbow is found, not in the cloud free days, but in the storm"

“Being happy does not always mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.”

"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years"

Absolute Bliss!!

2007-11-27T15:13:00.000+05:30

 A light drizzle drenching you while taking a casual stroll back home
 A nice long mail from a good old friend in ur inbox
 A message on ur b’day frm ur teacher saying “U never call me, u never mail me but I ll still call u and still mail u bcoz its ur b’day today and u r very special to me”
 Returning back home after a foul day at work to find ur mom having cooked for u ur favourite dish
 Watching ur favourite movie or reading an interesting novel till late in the night
 Getting up on a morning and just feeling light and happy for no reason absolutely
 Giggling away childishly with frens and making the PMs and module leads pop up their heads from their cubicles
 Receiving a missed call or receiving an SMS from an old friend just when u r feeling down and out
 A hectic and an over-occupied day when u just regain sense at the end of the day while bidding a tired gudnite to ur pillow in the night
 Irritating ur sibling and putting up a fight with him for the weirdest of reasons
 A mail in ur inbox saying “Just be as stupid and as crazy as u are always” with a bunch of flowers
 Celebrating ur b’day at home relishing home-cooked food that ur mom prepares for u keeping ur taste in mind and ending the eve watching a comedy movie with ur family
 Taking all the pains to buy a secret gift for ur brother only to discover that he had already discovered it and u getting the kela in return
 Sipping coffee and just staring at the system with the ear-phones on…and just being lost in ur own world day-dreaming
 Studying for exams and ending up seeing stars the next day in the exam hall with the rest of the lot
 Sneaking to the living room with ur brother after ur parents have gone to sleep to watch Harry Potter till late in the night
 Bunking office just because u cudn’t get up in the morning
 A cozy warm sleep in a huge blanket on a cold winter night knowing that it’s a holiday next day and u don’t have to get up early for office next day
 lying on bed and listening to FM…playing ur favourite songs…till 4 AM in the morning
 A re-union of good old college-mates reviving all the good old memories
 Having a full bar of dairy milk after a bad day to just cheer urself up
 Playing ludo with ur family on a Sunday afternoon and fighting over who should win and who should lose
 Getting stuck in the traffic jam while returning home from office and sitting there simply observing the world around you
 Lighting a whole lot of diyas and lighting up the whole home celebrating Diwali
 Reaching temple just in time for the Aarti and hearing to the ringing of those bells echoing sounding and re-sounding in your mind
 Having pani puri with frens from the street vendor and lying abt it at home
 Acting as if u r engrossed in a complicated analysis but actually reading a novel at work place
 Listening to the same song over and over again on ur playlist till the song keeps ringing in ur head even when u take off the ear phones

And just sitting solitarily smiling quietly to urself for absolutely no reason at all remembering and enjoying these blissful moments…just as I am doing now:)!!

Crazy...but I like it that way :)!!

2007-11-06T15:43:00.000+05:30

A day starting right at 8 ‘o clock in the morning in a hurried rush to sneak into office before ur supervisor gets in. After an hour long of hustle bustle on the busy road you reach office just to see ur supervisor walking right infront of you taking the lift (God!! who is that person who created lifts…din’t he have any supervisor at his work place…and why don’t supervisors consider taking stairs a healthy exercise in the morning!!) So, u barge into ur cubicle taking the stairs (two at a time…do I have a chance in marathon races!!) and make it just before u can see his head pop up near the door of the floor.You then open ur mailbox (the first thing to do every morning) hoping that some friend of urs might have regained his/her memory and might have mistakenly dropped a mail to u….afterall life is full of surprises…and who on Earth will not appreciate a sweet surprise popping its head in ur mailbox.You outlook shows that there are 12 mails to be downloaded and u r hoping against hope that atleast one is interesting out of them.You leave the outlook to take its own time in downloading the 12 mails and meanwhile decide to fill up ur water bottle and catch up with a cup of coffee (to enjoy it later with ur sweet little friend….the monitor of ur computer)…and isn’t that called effective utilization of time…why don’t managers take Knowledge transfer sessions on this from us I really wonder.You come back to ur place to only see that there were around 5 group announcements (Seriously HR needs to be given some work in life…they are really bored in lives I guess) and 7 official mails….comments on the document u submitted the previous day, new requirement analysis to be carried out, a presentation to be prepared and blah blah blah including a request for helping in some technical stuff in another project and there starts ur day (Wait did I say the day started at 8 in the morning!!).The next few hrs go in figuring out which task has to be given the first priority….unable to decide u start off with the first mail’s tasks.
A lot of running around…hunting for related documents…hunting for some help on Google (the life saviour!!)….feeling lost in those never ending PL/SQL procedures.Trying to reason out things (as well reason out from where on earth did ur mind learn to find reason out of ambiguity…above expectations really)…and get lost completely in documenting…fight over the comments given for ur analysis…tele conferences with onsite…never ending requirement discussions (and I used to think I wasn’t capable talking for a long time on phones).Discuss and fight with people of whom u know only the name and probably the voice.And your module lead coming over asking as to when can u deliver the documents…will it be possible by the end of the day (EOD and what’s that).A mail popping up in ur inbox ‘Look into this and revert ASAP’.You don’t realise when you have thrust down some food ….u don’t realise how many cups of coffee have accumulated at ur desk.U don’t realise for how long ur mobile has been ringing and has stopped cursing u for not paying even a pence worth attention to it.And finally after all work is done (that is when you decide that its been enough for the day) you look at the time and see its past nine in the night.U have 3 missed calls from home and u have 30 odd mails in ur inbox unchecked.U have no energy to check them now…u just leave them as it is and decide to get back home.Another one hr of entertaining urself with the songs playing on ur FM in ur mobile among the buzzing noise of the traffic and the blaring honks.And ur temporary loss of memory that u underwent comes back to u (Did I just curse my frens for being affected with memory loss!!)…oh it was my best fren’s b’day today!!Oops I had to stop by that shop and buy a jam bottle for mom…God!! I had to apply for reimbursement of my bills..wasn’t today the last date!!...and what abt the phone bill…100 rs extra for that now!!Oh no had to reply to my cousin’s mail……Groan why do I have such a short memory!!A few curses go there on urself then get back home …eat and sleep…not interested in sitting infront of another screen…TV..(yeah I know my fren u alone are my best friend…destined to be committed to u forever….u needn’t feel insecure….ll never replace u with anyone else. ..my monitor)…no patience to read any books…no patience to listen or talk to anyone at home.Open ur CAT material…solve a few sums and then give up…no strength!!And absolutely no time to think…no time to think what u r doing..what u need to do…no time to think of a break….no time to think of all that’s going on around u…of all that’s happening or future happenings…where ur life is going …..no time for urself.

That’s been my schedule for the past few days and I don’t know why but I like it…I like it that way.I like to be occupied to the brim…such that a little more will only spill out.I am not looking for a break…I am looking forward to be more and more occupied…such that at the end of the day I just have time to give my pillow a tired smile and bade it a sleepy farewell with another tired yawn.There was this dialogue in some movie which went like..”what personal life…my professional life is my personal life”…yeah my professional life has become my personal life and I am loving it that way !!Yeah, may be at times u just want to be over occupied in life as much as u can be and do not want time for urself ….I want it that way.Crazy am I not!!Well, I accept :)!

A Castle in the Air

2007-10-12T22:04:00.000+05:30

She opened her eyes and found herself in an unknown land. She looked around with a bewildered look on her face…where was she…what place was this??How did she get here??She longed to go back to the comfort of her home…to the place that she belonged to.She was scared.She wanted to run away. She looked around her for help….and her glance just then fell on the surroundings…and she was struck….. spellbound.
Was it a land of fairies….yeah, it must be a land of fairies…There were colourful daisies all around.The fragrance of roses filled the air. A light shower was wetting her hair…falling down her shoulders. The greenery of the nature mesmerized her. The gurgling sound of the waterfall beside her added melody to the enchanting atmosphere. She felt like dancing….she felt like chirping away with the birds ….singing along with the humming bees. She wanted to remain lost and captivated there….she was enjoying her solitude…the bliss around her. She thought “How I wish all my loved ones were here…How I wish we had set up our home here…my brother and I could have wandered around the whole day enjoying the beauty of this land….life would have been an absolute bliss in this serene atmosphere. We could have enjoyed playing hide and seek in the fields yonder filled with gay sunflowers…why didn’t they come along…where were they??” She had heard her mother describe her of this land…her mother had promised that it would be a land of roses…her father had said that he wanted her to visit the land and experience the merriment that was in store for her there. They had assured her and soothed all her apprehensions….they had said that she just had to put forward her foot and she would be carried away lovingly to the arms of the surreal world that they were describing to her and she will be taken care of.So, this was the land that they were speaking of then….so surreal it had seemed then…and now it was there infront of her eyes real and filled with life. Why had she ever been so apprehensive to come here…how foolish she was….
She played in the rain like a child….she splashed away in the brook like a kid. She trampled along running after butterflies…she went back to her childhood. She just wandered around trying to take in all the beauty with her…capturing every single moment in her memory…She could suddenly sight a glimpse of a castle far away in the midst of the trees….conspicuously hidden in the back-ground. She sprinted towards the castle with her heart beating fast…she thought to herself…is this the place where I should stay…stay maybe forever. And there stood the castle …standing tall amongst the greenery that only glorified it all the more. But there was a strange thing that she noticed…the castle was not on the ground but was swaying in mid-air…..she was awestruck ….wow a castle in the air.How could that happen….it was surely a dream. Dusk had started to fall outside….tiny stars had started to glisten in the sky above. The walls of the castle glinted like diamond in the dim light….she could not wait to discover the interiors of the castle…she groped around with baited breath for an entrance to the castle and after a few minutes of impatient search she finally discovered the entrance.The entrance to the castle was a door carved in it ..which almost camouflaged with the walls of the castle….There were tiny diamond shaped stones studded along the rim of the door which alone differentiated it from the walls of the castle.She pushed the door open and stepped into the castle..... The floor of the castle was laid with velvet carpet and almost melted under her feet…the roof appeared as if it was ornamented with brightly lit chandeliers all over….Tall curtains adorned the walls…and artistic sculptors and intricately carved furniture filled the space….giving altogether a magnificent feeling.
She then looked at the roof of the castle completely enthralled by the beauty and unable to take her eyes off the surroundings ….and her heart almost skipped a beat.The roof of the castle seemed to be falling down with alarming speed right on her….for a second she stood there her feet rooted to the castle floor unable to believe what was happening…and then she realised the roof of the castle was falling….yes, it was falling right on her. She ran for her life…she groped for the door and just ran out as fast as her legs could carry her. It took sometime for her to realise that she was there standing out under the sky safely away from the castle….she turned a frightened glance towards the castle and saw that it was slowly perishing right infront of her eyes.The roof was falling taking along the walls with it….stone by stone the castle was coming down.Tears flowed down her cheeks…she cudn’t believe that all the beauty that she had experienced was going away right before her….she cried and screamed for help but in vain. The castle was going down and she had to witness it standing there…she could not save the castle…she could not do anything to stop it from falling into pieces. She looked around for help…half-hoping…half-expecting and to her surprise she saw that all the greenery and the nature that had captivated her was vanishing one after other. She didn’t know where to go…she was aghast…she quickly closed her eyes with her palms …she could not take it anymore…she could not see everything disappearing just like that….grabbed away from her in a jiffy.
After a long time she opened her eyes half scared of what she will witness infront of her…and found herself in her bed room. It was dark ….and she could feel the cold wind outside coming through the open window. She stared at the ceiling blank for a while and suddenly felt relieved to find herself in her home. Beads of sweat had piled up on her forehead. She got up and stood beside the window and felt the cool breeze against her face….the dream still fresh in her memory….was it a night-mare…or was it an enjoyable dream. She cudn’t decide…It took sometime for the events that she had gone through to sink in her head. She then remembered what her mother had said…the land that we are talking of is definitely beautiful…but don’t build castles in the air!!Yeah, so it was…’A castle in the air’….I had built ‘A castle in the air’…she smiled and thought to herself!!

p.s : Dedicated to someone of whose divorce I got to know of and also to all those fallen castles which we keep building in the air every now and then

Phew!!

2007-10-03T12:27:00.000+05:30

Now just imagine this. Your day starts off with you realizing that you have overslept by half an hour and you really need to rush to office since you have a meeting right in the morning which had been announced the previous day. And the mail that had the announcement had been sent by your technical manager so this helps you imagine the sharpness of the dagger hanging over your neck even more clearly.You rush to office skipping ur breakfast and are stuck in a traffic jam ….the vehicles do not seem to budge an inch from their places for hrs together.You feel u are caught up in the world of tortoises for eternity with some blaring music playing in the background providing entertainment to the tortoises.Anyways, you finally manage to reach the fly-over near your office somehow and you decide to walk down to the office instead of being stuck in that stationary frame for another half an hour.
Just when you are thanking God for having made it to ur work place just in time for the meeting a local school bus passes by with school students happily waving at u from the bus’s window happily and blissfully enjoying their trip to school totally oblivious of the external world outside their homes and schools.And all of a sudden there is a splash and u see muddy water all over your dupatta sprinkled on it as if it was some holy water sprinkled on you blessing you to survive the dagger.You finally reach ur floor in that shabby condition cursing your fate and see that the meeting has already started.Without caring about the dress you just barge into the conference hall hoping against hope that there would be no Diwali celebrations for you in store there.As a blessing in disguise you are informed that ur tech manager has not yet joined the meeting and will be joining in another five minutes.
Just when you are heaving a sigh of relief and thanking your fate for showering so much kindness on you your technical manager arrives smiling and reports that there is a bad news…..the project is called off.You go back to ur place after the meeting totally lost…not understanding how come u didn’t feel the pain when the dagger fell over ur neck.Calling off the project wud mean all the efforts that had been put by u and ur team over the last one month had been watered down…..washed clean.And it wud also mean a calm after the storm (Yeah! I guess in corporate world the calm is usually felt after the storm not before)…that is u wud be sitting idle for a few days till the next assignment commences. And after having such a bad start of the day u decide to talk to ur fren hoping to derive some solace. But u discover that u have left ur cell at home in the hurry to get to office on time.Now u even fall short of curses for cursing ur fate.
The whole day goes off in you and ur team members predicting as to what could have been the reason for the closure of the project and brooding over it.At the end of the day as planned by u earlier u decide to go and shop for the Rakhi gift for ur brother keeping aside all ur worries.You enter the mall and notice that u have just half an hr on hand after which the mall will close down and in that half an hr time you need to hunt for a decent t-shirt.After rummaging around two floors of t-shirts which included a few oscillations between the first floor and the fourth floor of the mall u finally pick up a decent looking t-shirt when there are just about 5 min left for the shop to close down. Dog tired and famished u congratulate urself for having remembered to buy the gift and for having accomplished the task successfully after one whole week after Rakhi.You reach the billing counter and give the t-shirt for billing.Then you fish for ur debit card and a hundred odd things come out of ur purse except for the debit card. (I really sometimes think that my purse is also as magical as those dinner plates of Hogwart’s school which gets filled on its own from time to time).Anyways after a through search of ur purse you discover that you neither have the card nor money on u and suddenly the memory database of ur memory throws an alert message reminding u tht u had left ur card in ur mom’s purse the last time u had gone for shopping with her.
Getting out of the half-closed shutters of the mall aware of the smiles of those ten people standing behind you in the payment counter and having noticed the wide grin of the person at the counter u walk out of the mall.
Phew!! What a day….Lol :))!!

I realize....

2007-09-05T20:59:00.000+05:30

Recently, I happened to have a conversation with one of my frens…which was on these lines :

Fren : Hey, how was ur day??
Me : As usual …. Same boring stuff
Fren : ok! So what are u working on these days
Me : I am into a new project…just the initial phase so lots of documents to read
Fren : Oh ! So that must be boring!
Me : Yeah, its quite boring to read documents all day
Fren : Yeah, I know.So what do u do to get over the boredom??
Me : Nothing….can’t do much really!!Most of the sites are also blocked in our office.So can just have coffee and roam around a bit may be.
Fren : Oh that’s pretty bad then. How do u people survive without access to any of the sites.
Me : ha ha we are surviving right.
Fren : I wudn’t have allowed that to happen to me.
Me : I didn’t get you…sorry
Fren : I said I wudn’t have let that happen to me
Me : What wud u do??
Fren : Quit and join somewhere else.
Me : hmmmm ok

Now this conversation left me thinking for a while. I felt like saying ‘No, don’t say that. It is a gud place to work in’.Why did I feel bad. This was not the first time I was hearing such kind of statements. Many of my colleagues keep complaining. Our coffee discussions usually revolve around our hectic schedule or complaining tht no project is assigned,our project managers,other companies having better facilities,who all have shifted where and what not. Its very rare that we discuss abt the facilities within the company, how are we different from others and what we are actually gaining being here.And the most interesting thing is I have seen people shift and again start cribbing in a few days.There have been cases of people shifting and wanting to come back also to the same place.But even after having the knowledge of all this we hardly ever appreciate what we have….atleast we hardly ever project that we do gain something from the company. There are umpteen number of blogs discussing the dissatisfaction they have at their work place.I too have cribbed in a few posts of mine.
But for once when I heard that statement I felt guilty that I cribbed. When I have cribbed and said that I was bored I must be looking for something more isn’t it?Let me consider what all I have first to decide on what more I need. Starting from basic things…my salary is good enough for a decent survival if not a lavish one. The work environment at my work place is quite good. There is no concept of hierarchy here and whether u r a fresher or an experienced person you do have a say here. There is hardly any bossism at the work place unless required. You have good frens among ur batchmates and colleagues. You can also consider the opportunity of working on the client’s side and visiting a few places…enriching ur experience and ur bank account for those who are keen. Regarding nature of work….yes, it definitely is interesting on few days and its not at other times.And above all, I get to stay with my parents even.So, what is that which I need to consider then for making a shift.Don’t I have enough things already to be happy with!What else does anyone look for in a job. Is not having 24/7 internet facility reason enough to consider a shift or is any other such reason valid?Frens even keep asking…two years and in the same place.Why aren’t u considering a shift?.......
Will shifting mean an end to all complaints??Will we not have reasons for complaining always? Is there any end to it? Say we have all the facilities and everything we complain for not having time for leisure. And if we do not have a hectic schedule we complain for not having our frens or our family around. It will be a very rare occurrence to have everything u want and be well satisfied.
For once I saw the positives that I was gaining from and I realized I might be aspiring to progress but that doesn’t mean I am not happy with what I already have. I have realized I love my job and my work place not just for the benefits it gives me but I like it as a whole with all its benefits and loopholes. And even if I complain or crib I am not actually complaining abt the workplace but the complaints are actually abt myself is what I have understood. If I ever shift it wouldn't be because of boredom or dissatisfaction or because of any flaws in my organization. And we all need to realize that unless we appreciate and value what we already possess satisfaction and happiness will always remain elusive. And no amount of shifting is ever going to bring them to us.The yearn for more will always be a luring entity for which the organization is no way responsible....the root of the problem lies within us not in any of the organizations.

To all the Girls!!

2007-09-05T20:48:00.000+05:30

I don’t know if I will sound like an upcoming female activist in this post of mine. But I thot the picture was worth sharing. And I don’t think I need to add anything more to this post of mine. The picture says it all. All that I ll say is :

“It might be difficult to be a girl and thousand times more difficult to be a woman but whatever it is I am really proud I belong to it”

……and this is for all those who appreciate belonging to this special category:)!!

What's so poignant about this picture?
Well, it shows a line of little girls holding hands facing the immensity of ocean waves. Alone they might be washed away, but together they stand strong.

July 11th……the ‘D’ day!!

2007-07-11T18:36:00.000+05:30

Last few months have been pretty taxing and my mind has been reeling with a lot of things.Looks like life has chosen to be a little heavy on me for some time….and as the days were just by-passing me …then came July 11th,2007. It was exactly at 12 ‘o clock yesterday that I coincidentally , hunted for my wrist watch lying below a pile of books scattered all around on my bed and wondered what day is it…..What’s the date….did I by any chance exceed the last date of my hutch bill payment.And then it struck me July 11th….something was special abt this day…what was it??!!
After focussing for sometime on the date then it dawned upon me oh yeah it was the day I had joined my very first job…..the day I first set my foot into corporate world….in other words got the feeling of belonging to the class of professionals. I smiled at myself and said congratulations….two yrs into profession completed successfullyJ!!I knew I wasn’t all that greatly satisfied with my job and I had higher aspirations……and I also was aware that life isn’t going all that smooth for me and smiling meant that I really needed a strong reason to do so….but I was still smiling surprisingly. Did July 11 really hold so much significance to me?!

I then got reminded of college….of BITS…I realised it’s been long since I have actually missed being there….when did I stop missing college…ah I didn’t even realise!! One yr back we had all celebrated July 11th with lot of vigour and energy….I remembered the way we had celebrated this day and wondered God alone knows how many of my training batchmates are still working in the same organization. And how many of them are even going to remember that today was our joining day!!

When I got to office in the morning and opened my mail box….it was empty!!And I told myself “ha ha so no one remembers”.I thought …should I mail everyone…people might not appreciate forget it!!where is the time for anyone to shower sentiments now….then got down to work.After sometime mails started pouring in ….Some on a cheerful note and some with a hint of sarcasm..But nevertheless, mails did pour in. The best part was we could contact almost the whole batch of training batchmates who had joined on July 11th including those who had shifted to other organizations. A few memories of our training days were revived which brought back a few happy memories. And as each one started writing about the fun-filled incidents that had happened during the training…mails started flooding the inbox.Quite a few legs were pulled and the entire batch livened up.

I smiled and thot……..A lot of things had changed over the past two years. Lot of lessons learnt. A few moments of accomplishment have passed and a few moments of distress have been there. Almost all of us have now learnt to deal with the ups and downs of professional life I guess. A few expectations have been met and a lot of aspirations lay unfolded. We have learnt tht the rosy life of college has gone and reserved its place in the city of nostalgia and is not going to come back and we need to find happiness now in the routine monotony of profession. Some have chosen to resign to the monotony and some have chosen to keep fighting and have been finding ways to get out of it. And each one seems to be satisfied with one fact tht they are dissatisfied. And the best thing is no one knows what is that that can satisfy them.I still remember the day I had first stepped into my account….we saw everyone around us with grave bored faces sitting infront of their systems …..lost in their own sweet world ……life and enthusiasm seemed to be dead and gone from their faces. I still remember the confusion on each our faces….we all had the same question in mind “why don’t these people smile!!” . I guess now we might be portraying the same image to the new comers joining the account. Two yrs of profession definitely teaches one and all two things… to adapt to the monotony and to be satisfied with the dissatisfaction. But whatever it is …..satisfied or not…..July 11th is a date which will always remain special for all of us with all the fond memories of training attached to it….is what I could drive home today. It marks the beginning of our professional career and carries the mark of the day we got our very first designation as an employee. Our experience will always be counted with respect to this very date. With all the significance that it carries for each one of us July 11th is not going to be just another memorable day but the most memorable day for our entire training batch and it will always be remembered with a smile!! The journey into professionalism started from here will thus continue further but July 11th will always remain the D day :)!!!!

Puuo!!

2007-06-08T12:42:00.000+05:30

About twenty yrs back from today a three yrs old kid was sitting along with her grandfather in his lap in an arm chair in the porch of the verandah….JJ (Grandfather in Oriya) chair that is what we used to refer that chair as.It was his favourite chair.

Kid : JJ what does puuo mean??
JJ : It means son
Kid : Why do u call Appa as puuo??Is he ur son??
JJ : Yes, he is my puuo
Kid : Who is my puuo??
JJ : Ha ha, who do u want ur puuo to be??
Kid : Can I choose my Puuo JJ??
JJ : Yes, u can…so whom do u choose then as ur puuo??
Kid : U….u be my puuo from today JJ…will u be??
JJ : Ha ha sure my dear…but then who ll be ur JJ if I be ur puuo!!
Kid : (After some serious thot) we will shorten JJma’s name as JJ….if I need a JJ
JJ : Ha ha ha ok

And so he became my puuo from being my JJ :).He used to feed me when I used to throw tantrums and find excuses for not eating making my mother give up on me in frustration.He wud bribe me with chocolates and toys and make me drink milk and then take all the credit for accomplishing the great task.My puuo and I wud together have bitter gourd curry together…..I eating on his behalf and he on my behalf….. and the bitterness of the curry would get drowned in our laughter and togetherness. He taught me alphabets before joining school.He taught me the difference between multiplication and divison…when I could never differentiate between them.He taught me multiplication tables till 12th table and I could never learn higher than 12th table till date.And today he’s taught me cooking even :)!I wud coax him to tell me the story of his childhood and he wud willingly accept to narrate the incidents of his childhood to me umpteen number of times without getting tired of it.He wud listen to my endless ranting and answer each and every single question that I ask.He wud blackmail me saying that if I had my bath early in the morning he wud allow me to enter the puja room and have Prasad and I wud always manage to sneak in and have the Prasad without bath.And he wud behave as if he could never make out tht I had sneaked in and finished the Prasad.I wud ask him “what do u do with the Prasad when I am not around Puuo”…and he wud reply “feed it to the sparrows so that they take it to u in their beaks”!!And I wud keep searching for sparrows at my place for the Prasad.He wud say “Grow up soon dear I am getting old”…and I wud reply “Don’t worry Puuo I ll grow up soon and we will both get old together”.Days passed and distances grew.I got tied up with studies and cud manage to meet him only once in a yr.He wud complain “U call me puuo and don’t care for ur puuo.U simply disappear”….I wud reply “No JJ!!Me really tied up.I need to secure a seat JJ.After that I promise I ll always be with u”…..he replied “Fine!!I will get it for u…will u be happy then and not worry”….It sounded like those days in my childhood when I used to cry for toys and he wud say “Fine now don’t cry I will get u toys from my secret trunk…ll u be happy then”……and I wud forget all abt the toys and secretly sit down to ransack the secret trunk when my grandfather was not around. My puuo couldn’t see me worried ever.Whenever I wud get worried abt my results my puuo wud motivate me by narrating his experience and the way he had pursued his dreams by making it to Stanford University and completed his Phd .He had taught me pursuing ur dreams is all that matters ….don’t worry abt the results…just never give up. Tears filled his eyes when I had gifted him a dhoti and kurta with my first salary.He put away the dhoti and kurta in his secret trunk as usual :)!!
I wud say “Puuo come and stay with me.Then we can have lot of fun” and his reply wud always be “No my dear just like that is ur house this is my house…ur Puuo is happy in his house…Next I ll go to God’s house from here”….And I wud retort “JJ!!Don’t talk nonsense.You had promised that we ll get old together”….”Yes my dear I remember my promise. We will get old together.U and I togther.That is why I made the prev. statement”.I never understood then what he meant.

But today I understand the true meaning of his statement that he had made then.He had meant he wud always be there with me in my memories and we wud together get old.Isn’t that what u meant Puuo?? :)! Life is so strange really….we are forced to accept the rules of nature.Much as we wud love to hold on to our dear ones we know that if we do so it will only get worse.Although its painful to depart from your loved ones u will have to console urself telling that its better if they are taken care of by God in his house than they withering away infront of ur eyes.U can’t pause time…u can’t stop age.And its also strange that when ur loved ones depart its only then that all the memories of the days that u spent together surfaces and u try clinging on to them like u never did before.U get so tied up with other responsibilities in ur life that although u know u love them dearly and they are there waiting impatiently to just catch a glimpse of u ….u just don’t have the time to be with them…and the memories just lie at the back of ur mind undisturbed….u don’t have the time to re-live them.So, that is what he had meant then that he can always stay in my memories and I will realise and relive the long lost childhood days with him all over again while he watches me do so from God’s abode…..and that’s how he will watch me getting old , sitting in the JJ chair , along with him :) !Hope you are keeping a secret trunk there too in God’s house Puuo.And I am sure this time God will make sure that ur secret trunk is not ransacked by any naughty kid around. And here I will take care of your favourite chair :)!

One Min Plz!!

2007-06-08T12:37:00.001+05:30

There are these times when you feel like requesting life “Please, give me just a min off and I will get back to you”. But your request goes in vain. Life stubbornly sticks on to its routine. The storm that is boiling inside you gets on to you and you plead and cry and life turns a deaf ear to your pleadings. And you realise that you are not going to be empathized with. Life is not going to sit down and empathize with you and let the storm pass. You got to get down to your feet and stand up with life. It is in no way going to give you time to pause or give you time to sit down and take a breath. Life doesn’t have place to accommodate your anguish. You finally give up and put one foot forward hesitatingly into life and the moment you do that life drags you and engulfs you like the tides of the sea and you sail along its waves. Rising up and down. The showers of Life rain on you and your anguish is washed away. Time, a friend of Life, provides the healing balm and the pain and anguish stop hurting without your knowledge…..as you were busy trying to learn manoeuvring through the waves. Eventually you learn and you start enjoying and experiencing every crest and trough of the waves and then you pause and ask yourself “Did I ask for some time off from life…and when was that :)!!!”
That is why it is rightly said ‘Life is Beautiful’ :)! Isn’t it!!

Amnesia

2007-05-04T18:32:00.000+05:30

Amnesia – forgetfulness.Coming to me I guess when God was fitting people’s brains with those memory cards holding GBs of data I was probably the last one in the queue and when my chance came God was left only with a memory card which could hold data in bits.Never mind that…I do accept with grace that my brain has not been fit with a real spacious memory card….but when it comes to the short falls and the embarrassments I need to face bcos of that I really wish there was some mechanism to upgrade the memory cards in our heads…as unfortunately the idea of bashing up the fellow standing infront of me in the queue and snatching away the GB wala memory card didn’t occur to me then.There had been umpteen instances of me goofing up bcos of my forgetfulness starting with forgetting to wear the right coloured uniform on the right days of the week and ending up picking up scraps of paper from the school playground as punishment,forgetting the dates of the tests and studying for the wrong subject and achieving the unachievable zilch proudly (I still store those papers as testimonials!),not remembering people’s names till I make a conscious effort of memorizing their names and raking my brain each time I meet them…(I still get confused as to who was the director of my college and wait who is the CEO of my company??!!).I hope I don’t end up in another office some day claiming it to be my workplace.
My last goof up was when I was playing some prank on my fren by trying to give her names of characters in Mahabharat and ended up relating Gandhari with Menaka concluding both of them to be apsaras.That only helped in me acquiring an alias to my name as Menaka-Gandhari and being referred as that in every mail and meet from then on.Probably I even made Gandhari turn in her grave.But it doesn’t matter if u don’t remember dates,color of uniform,name of the CEO of ur company or names of the apsaras and queens but u do get into real embarrassing state if u don’t remember ur colleagues or batchmates names.There had been innumerable times when I had met someone from my college or workplace coincidentally in a shopping mall or in a restaurant and got away without much damage inspite of me not being able to recollect if I had ever met this person in the first place while conversing with them.
But the worst incident was when I met one of my colleagues in an exam center and mistook him as my father’s fren’s son .Our conversation took place somewhat on these lines :
Colleague (C ) : Hi!!U here
Me : Hi (Totally clueless as to who he was??!!)
C : So, how was ur exam
Me : yeah ok…what abt u?? (By then the bulb in my head finally decided to bless me and glew and I concluded him to be my father’s fren’s son)
C : Not good.How was ur last paper
Me : Last one was better I guess…what abt u??
C : Same here.So howz work??
Me : ya good…Howz urs??
C : very boring…U r frm which college??
Me : ????? (How come he doesn’t know) XXXX
C : U r 2005 pass out??When did u join??
Me : yeah, 2005…joined ZZZZ in 2005 (Now this is real attitude….!!What nautankibaaz)
C : What?????Why are u telling me the company name??!!
Me : Bcos u asked me!!!! (????)
C: Wait! Aren’t u able to recognise me??!!
Me : (??????) Ofcourse, aren’t u YYYY
C : Huh!! I can’t believe this….I am ur colleague…remember ur company ZZZZ,So n so Project ,So n so Account ….me who sits in so and so cubicle!!
Me : Uh!!I am really sorry…I thot u were someone else!!I guess it’s the effect of exam…C u tomm!!Wud u mind if I leave?? (totally perplexed at my own stupidity)

And after this incident I have accepted that probably the memory card in bits has also stopped functioning and I really need to do something.I am scared of that fateful day when my Supervisor comes to me and I refuse to recognise him or mistake him as someone else!!

Foot Prints

2007-05-04T18:31:00.000+05:30

As I traverse down the memory lane I stumble upon a thousand odd memories.All stacked and stored secure within the walls of my memory lane.Each memory unfolds a series of images….images that seem so real, life-like when I decide to unfold them and which otherwise stays as a still picture, if left undisturbed.Memories of childhood,memories of my first days at school,memory of the time when I fell down off the stairs and the pain of tht single fall imprinted itself in my memory,memories of the hundred odd people that I met all along,a few that remained, a few that were swept away along with the tide of time, a few that choose to be swept away , memories of people and things in my possession whose value I realised only after they left,memories of promises,trust,frenship and betrayals…,memories of success that made me feel I was on the top of the world,memories of failure which made me feel my world had come to an end,memories of lessons that were learnt in a hard way,memories which I look back upon and smile telling myself good that it happened that way otherwise I wud have missed upon a lot of other things,memories of the loss that I underwent because of my foolishness,memories of incidents when I received help from the most unexpected quarters, memories I look back on and think how did I ever manage to pass through that,memories of people and incidents that made me laugh my head off….which invariably bring a smile whenever thot of,memories of times when I was jealous of other’s possession and the same things seem so insignificant to me right now,memories of frens who lived through thick and thin with me and who still do,memories of people whom I respected and admired the most ,memories that I look at and think did that have to happen with me, cherished memories of triumph and memories that still pain and a whole lot of other memories….so many in number that its actually impossible to pen them down.And each of these memories are indispensable.Each has left a footprint somewhere.Each moment is precious enough to be lived and re-lived again.The memories that sub-consciously always keep reminding me of the various moments.And as I sail along with life I look forward to experience new things which will add to my memories and add to the treasure of footprints that are there so that one fine day when I look back I have a imprinted book filled with footprints of treasured memories and its not a blank page.

The Rats Race

2007-04-25T19:10:00.000+05:30

Its one of those times when you can see the shreds of ur dream all around you making you realise that you have failed…..added another stepping stone on ur path to successfully attain ur dream.The dream which had started off with the promise to give up all that comes across ur path and causes a hindrance to achieve it.But it all shattered with a two and a half hours of exam on one fateful day.Although I do realise that it has been a miserable failure but I haven’t failed to realise that all along I have gained a lot also.It has not been just another failure over which I just have to brood over and curse my fate.Its been a learning process and although I haven’t achieved anything in quantitative terms I have achieved a lot in qualitative terms.
I really can’t help admiring the lot of people tht I had met.It just overwhelms you when u see the determination and perseverance in a few people.It makes you feel determined.It makes you pursue ur dreams all the more harder.Many people say it’s a rat race and we are rats at the end of it.But its not just a rat race.The very fact that you are a part of the race …the very process brings out so many things.The momentary success in a mock CAT followed by a disastrous failure in the one following it.The moments of triumph of having scored well in a particular section and the moments of distress when your score is negative in a section.Raking ur brains searching the so called engineer in u who is supposed to master quant and is not able to solve a simple profit and loss problem.Getting absorbed in a very interesting passage while doing the RC section in a Mock CAT and loosing track of time.Matching the red hats with toms ,dicks and harries so much so that u see only colourful houses and hats in dreams while sleeping.The serious brain storming sessions that are held as to how to bell the CAT which end up in discussions on movies.The rage over the OBC quota put forward…the endless protests, display of anger and peace marches held.Dreaming that u had been just through one section and time was up…and getting up with a start.Dreaming of success.Dreaming of failure.The fun in group discussions.The fear in mock interviews.Brooding with fellow mates over ur mundane jobs.Consoling each other and inspiring one another to keep going.The wait for when it wud be time for ur evening class and when u wud get a break from ur office work.Marvelling at the intricacies of English language in the VA classes.Feeling lost like a drop of water in an ocean in general awareness classes.And never to forget the endless wait for the results…..speculations…calls….hopes….dispair…triumph!!!!
The whole process has been a great learning experience.It changes ur perception on viewing things from a broader platform.Teaches u to welcome success and failure with the same spirit and to keep a balance over urself.It brings out the manager in u in the truest sense.I guess for that matter preparing for any exam is a huge learning process which teaches you much more than u realise.And above all the People whom you meet who bring out the strengths and weaknesses in you.People whose self confidence makes you also believe only in the best.To learn to believe just in achieving the moon and not compromise on ur dreams.To keep going with the same determination and strength even after failure after failure.And at the end of the day to realise that u had the courage to be a part of the so called rat race and have picked up a lot from the race rather than not taking part in the race at all and missing out on the learning. The mantra wud be atleast I tried and its been a enjoyable and memorable experience.

Adieu-Keep in Touch

2007-03-15T16:29:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I had to work till late in the office and by the time I reached home it was 9:30 PM.I happened to have a brawl with my Onsite Co-ordinator and I was lost in cursing him with the choicest of abuses till I reached home.I put my bag down and sat down on the bed heaving a HUGE sigh of relief when my cell started ringing. Instant thot that passed was “Is it from Office….Noooooooooo don’t tell me”.Seeing that it was from an unkown no….it took sometime for me contemplating if I should be receiving it or not.Even if its not from office I am in no mood of speaking to anyone right now….and the cell stopped ringing…..”Thank God!!”.I went and gulped down a glass of water, had dinner and decided to sleep early…having had enough for the day!!Just then the cell started ringing again…”Now who’s it at 10 in the night”!!
Finally received the call….
Me : Hello
Speaker : Hi yaar
Me : Er….Hi??!!
Speaker : Remember me??
Me : aa…no sorry I can’t recollect…may I know who’s this?
Speaker : Arey main yaar XXXX!
Me : Oh hi yaar….kaise ho…after a long long time !!
Speaker : Haan yaar bas thik…tum batao
Me : yeah, me too fine…aur howz ur job and all
Speaker : Bas chal rahi hai yaar…busy at times what abt u??
Me : same yaar…routine life aur kya
Speaker : haan mera bhi…aur batao
Me : main kya bataun yaar…tum hi batao
Speaker : hmmm main kya bataun…filhaal I am in Hyd yaar
Me: Oh wow!!Thats great…kab aaye
Speaker : Just abt a week back
Me : Oh great yaar…pehle kyun nahi bataya…we cud meet up sometime
Speaker : haan yaar was a bit busy…
Me: ok…no problem we will meet up soon
Speaker : yeah sure…
(An uncomfortable pause for abt 1 min)
Speaker: acha yaar so this is my no. note it down and do keep in touch
Me : haan yaar sure…u too keep in touch

“Keep in touch” this I remember was the phrase we had said to each other when we had parted about a year back.We had been in college together ….we were a close knit group of frens…!!We had shared a hundred things and had days of fun and frolic together….we had laughed and cried together watching movies in the college auditorium,we had put night-outs together working for tech fest,we had crept together into the girls hostel after long past the closing time and had jubilantly congratulated each other for breaking the hostel rules successfully,we had studied for courses together and flunked them together,we had supported each other while giving presentation lectures in order to make a few marks,we had worked on each other’s assignment and ended up muddling it all the more till we had to copy it from the net,we had gossiped on every other group present in the college,we had given b’day bumps to others to our heart’s content only to receive double the amount back on ur own b’day,we had bunked classes together and also helped the other to go to sleep behind one's back in class,we had drafted each others write ups and made sure to see that the person runs out of shy on his/her farewell,we had filled in each others slam books till there was no space left in it…..we had shared four years together…the memories of which will stay for lifetime. We had parted with heavy hearts and promises to always be in touch.There had been lot many such frens…who had been really close…in school,college,work place.Some never attempted to keep in touch….some whom u expected will keep contact didn’t live upto ur expectations and some of them u couldn’t sustain keeping contact with not living upto their expectations…and finally the number reduced to just one or two who were in regular touch …who might also be swallowed in the wave of time!!

It sure does feel great to receive a call from one of ur college frens who had been so close…..but we happened to have nothing to tell each other except for a few formal words….the closeness seemed to have vanished over time ….All those promises of keeping in touch which had been made seemed to falsify somehow….!!”Keep in Touch” a phrase so lightly used by us….. how much essence does it have practically. How much do we abide by the promise that we make….all that remains between frens is a few fwded mails, a few wishes on festivals and b’days and calls when some help is needed……almost narrowing down to a state when we are just a step ahead of being complete strangers to each other.Distances and time seem to have engulfed the relationships and priorities seem to have shifted in life…..Your horizons have broadened . The phrase “Keep in Touch” also has broadened with broadened horizons….and has reduced to just another formality.Frens have been replaced with colleagues or a new set of frens (who will also eventually be replaced with time and distance) and mails have been replaced with career goals and have been prioritised over.Looking back , a handful unknown people that u had come across over the years….who grew from being strangers to acquaintances and acquaintances to frens…..the innumerable promises made,the innocence shared and the immense importance given to each other….all seem faded over time. All that remains are lingering memories of long lost frens….. a few words far and between…..which lack to fill up the space and vacuum that has been created by the negligence that has crept in with time.Life has moved on and u have learnt to move along with life….learning in a smooth or hard way to hold on to just the memories and experiences which are not perishable ….as u move along taking in home the learning that the charm and vigour of evrything perishes and transforms over time .Now when someone says “Keep in touch” I mentally translate the phrase to myself and reply with a smile “Sure yaar,u too keep in touch”!!

A Smile Makes ur Day!!

2007-03-12T17:35:00.000+05:30

Its just another routine day….getting up at 8 with the alarm having been set and re-set umpteen no of times since 7 for an interval of 10 -10 min till the alarm clock itself is tired of ringing and literally yells in ur ear “Get up now or I will bash u up!!”….”U grumble and growl abt it being another working day….”…rush to office…cook up an excuse for being late and pat urself for coming up with such brilliant and innovative excuses each time….(keeping up the company’s spirit of innovation)!!And then the day drags on….it either ends right at 6 on days when u r absolutely free and have been sitting and staring the whole day at the monitor…reading each and every mail that pops up in ur mail box even if it’s a group announcement or put up an earnest act of reading some very important project related documents whereas the reality is either u r lost in the songs of Lucky Ali playing on ur Winamp or are deep into an e-book……sometimes I seriously wonder…had Winamp been barred at the work place I wud seriously have to consider shifting to another job.And there are days when u just happen to look at the bottom right corner of ur system and see the time to be 10:00 and wonder if its AM or PM and it takes full 5 min for ur brain to register that its 10:00 PM and then u wonder if there will be any coffee in the coffee machine realising that its long past lunch now and ur stomach is growling!!
The day ends and u manoeuvre ur way through the traffic back home and ur ears keep ringing with the blaring noise of the vehicles on the road till half an hr after reaching home.Switch on t.v….browse through channels for half an hr…curse the channels for screening nothing of ur interest and for repeating the same old things…at times if u r too tired to browse channels you satisfy urself watching the same old movie “Mera Dil Tera Sanam…etc etc” for the hundredth time and really appreciate the channel for actually researching so hard to zero down on a movie like that and screen it repeatedly (as viewer’s choice)which wud have stayed unheard of otherwise!!And then when the clock strikes 12 u slowly feel overpowered by sleep…sometimes it even happens that u luckily find something interesting to watch on t.v and want to watch the whole program but the muscles in ur body blatantly refuse to keep up to ur expectations !! And thus ends the day with u being in the dreamland watching urself free out of this routine mundane life…throwing the resignation at ur boss’s face and getting back at him for the torture that he bestowed upon u.
A mundane life that almost all of us lead.Most of us have the same routine…its as if we have become like a tuned alarm clock running as per the settings ….without any escape whatsoever.But as I sit and sip coffee at my desk looking at my colleagues sitting around me and ponder over where my routine life is heading to I realise that everyone around me has the same kind of routine and thots like me.But when you have a look at them closely u see that some people have adapted themselves very well to the routine.There are people who always have an enthusiasm in them…smiling broadly while moving around on the floor…smiling at every person (known/unknown) they come across,taking time off their work and spending time going to others desks and making them laugh as well along with them, taking up any kind of work with equal amount of enthusiasm even if it is as boring as correcting grammar in some documents that are to be delivered,making a lot of frens around,dropping nice cheerful mails now and then ….these are the people who are noticeable in the floor which otherwise consists of hundred odd people…..The people who bring in life to the floor …the only ones whose absence is noticed when they are on leave.And u will see that u invariably end up having a secret admiration for such kind of people.And there are another set of people who are unnoticeable, lost in the floor as much as they are lost in their computers and lives.They are the ones who have a gloomy face all the time, smile evades them as if its another precious thing which they wudn’t like to part with or spend on any tom dick and harry, always grumbling abt their work,cursing their routine lives …they are the ones whom u look at and realise how mundane ur life is!!There is one thing that I realised after getting into profession is that being gloomy or staying happy is upto one’s state of mind.The more you grumble abt things not being the way u like the more life grumbles at u and life eludes u!!Its totally ur call to either find happiness out of the routine or follow a routined gloominess.You are frustrated as long as u decide to be…the moment u decide that no I will laugh away at everything and drown my frustration in my laughter there will be no frustration.Starting the day by telling urself that today is the best day for me helps.U stop realising the monotony… u infact start enjoying it!!
The way u can live life to the fullest is something that is a never ending lesson which unfolds new lessons for u at every step and the lessons end only with life.A lesson in which to progress through all its chapters u need a whole lot of enthusiasm and the right spirit…sticking on to gloominess and grumbling or for that matter sticking on to anything will stagnate u in the first chapter and will not help u progress.Now when I am talking of all this I might as well mention of a person’s blog that I had come across…..although I don’t happen to know the person personally and had got the link to his blog from one of my close frens…I really admire the way he perceives life.Some of the articles of his that I read had been so humorous that me and a few of my frens had laughed so hard that tears came rolling down our eyes and our supervisors suspiciously asked us the reason for our ecstasy..thinking that we were planning to play some prank on them.At times I have been really frustrated with my work and his humorous articles had proved to be a heavenly break.Hats off to his humour and satire !!And today in the morning my fren mailed me asking me to read his latest post which talked abt his engagement breaking up.When I heard of it first I was really taken aback and almost dumbstruck.But when I read his post I was amazed at the way he’s handled it…and the way he’s put it across with his usual humorous touch.I empathized with him and decided to drown the sad news in a cup of coffee.But I was in for a bigger surprise when I saw all my frens who had been reading his posts empathising with him and actually praying for him.
Now coming to think of it….this is a fast moving world and everyone is trying hard each day to keep pace with it.Who has the time in the world to empathise with some unknown person and pray for him.In such a fast moving world where people don’t find time to pray for themselves if we are actually pausing and taking out time even for a sec to pray for someone then I guess these are the true blessings that anybody should count on.The people who know how to bring a smile on other’s faces and make the day for others by their humour inspite of the problems that they face….the people from whom u can learn how to imbibe enthusiasm in ur monotonous life are those whom u will always admire and pray for and learn from.May God create more such people for ages to come and may God keep them as bright and smiling as ever.

Holi

2007-03-06T10:57:00.000+05:30

The clock struck 11 and I was in a deep slumber lost in dreamland when there was a sudden thud….someone was pounding at the door.”Its 11 in the morning…do u have any intention of waking up”….God!!I don’t understand why parents have to get up so early.Do they know how much they are missing by getting up so early in the morning…afterall isn’t it in the morning that u get the best of sleep possible!!Anyways, I looked at the watch…mumbled half asleep….ok baba getting up and got out of the bed!!Checked for the time and it showed 10:45…”Oh Papa its not yet 11….and I got back late from office yesterday…”…anyways!!

The day was as normal as any other weekend and late in the afternoon there was a msg on my cell…”Hi Hutch!!On thi Holi discover new colourful ringtones and caller tunes on ur mobile ….”…..How can ringtones be colourful….nevermind but yeah isn’t it Holi today!!Let me go and look out as to how people are celebrating Holi!!Looked out of the window…and there wasn’t a soul visible…switched on the tv and watched the news for a while where people celebrating Holi in different states was being shown….got bored after sometime and decided to call up a few frens.None of them seemed to be celebrating…and half of them didn’t even know it was Holi today.However all of them seemed to remember how we used to celebrate the festival when we were in hostel in our college….”yaar yaad hai how we broke rotten eggs on ur head and how u went stinking for a whole week after that”…”and haan kaise we had emptied the whole bucket of colors in ur room yaad hai…u took two whole days to get over that mess”

True!!We used to have such a blast on Holi in college……that was the first time ever I celebrated Holi…. making it all the more special for me.That was the day when there were no distinctions made between profs and students.All of us used to get together in the lawns and play with colors to our heart’s content.There were no restrictions on our wear and no etiquettes whatsoever…..all of us tried to be as uncivilized and barbaric as we could shouting and yelling our lungs out!!Pulling everyone out of their hostels , messing up rooms….cleanliness seemed to be alienated for that day!!Catching hold of the people who looked less messier than the others and trying our best to be the messiest of the lot.I still remember that day when it was declared that playing holi was over for the day and everyone left to take bath….just to fool me…and after 2 and a half hrs of tidying up I was bathed with a bucket of colors when I got out!! Holi and Diwali had always been the two festivals which were the most enjoyable ones since childhood!!Probably these are the only two festivals which actually bring out the child in everyone….!!Only festivals when people of all age groups are seen celebrating in the same way…the only days when kids get official permission to play pranks on elders.

But now we are back again to square one.No Holi….No diwali…most of us don’t even notice when the festivals go by.And the reason we give is…”Got to go office the next day yaar…let me take rest for today”….”Arey office mein bahut kaam hai yaar…no time absolutely”!!If we are giving excuses of work load to ourselves for not enjoying these small things in life isn’t this a valid enough excuse for not living life at all.Workload seems to be the excuse for anything and everything around.Not celebrating festivals,not being able to attend frens/realtives functions,not being able to keep in touch with frens,not being able to get back home for a long time,not remembering to wish on ur siblings b’day,not having the time to pursue our hobbies and interests,no time to get up early and enjoy the morning walk,no time to meet ur school fren who’s on a visit to ur place,no time to wish anyone on festivals,no time to even smile at ur colleagues sitting in the same floor as u ….and the list goes on.In short workload seems to be an excuse for not living life as it is meant to be….an excuse that u r giving urself for letting life by pass you.We all seem to be in a race…..not realising that we have left all those little things that we used to enjoy in life far behind.For all those things that we miss could our workload serve as an excuse…..aren’t we just missing out on just a little more than that!!

My Trip To Nagpur

2007-02-23T12:11:00.000+05:30

My Father and I started off on our journey to Nagpur at 9 in the morning. Me having an interview the next day and considering that literally my life depended on the interview I was just physically present on Earth. We went and checked for our names and berth nos on the list outside and we got to know that my ticket is still not confirmed. Finally after having manoeuvred to our berths we sat down there although I had these doubts lingering in my mind if we will be asked for the confirmation. There were abt three to four people in the compartment and a kid of abt 2 yrs age. I sat down to a corner and started off with the pile of magazines that I had carried with me from home to devour on during the journey. Somehow whether I read the books/magazines or not carrying study material with me when there is some important exam to be given always gives me some mental support and solace. When I was reading I heard one of the persons around me mention abt B-Schools. He was a middle aged person and he was enquiring abt B-schools with another passenger who was a youngster. After sometime someone in the compartment asked me why have u bought the whole shop of magazines. I was so taken aback by the question that it took a moment for me to answer….also since I was in another world it wud have obviously taken some time for me to get back!! But anyways my father answered the query for me and then the middle aged man started asking me a lot of ques. following that.I was all the time thinking ‘arey yeh sab jaanke kya karna hai…how does it bother u’ and anyways probably we are brought up in such a way that we always find it a bit odd to speak to strangers.Then slowly the conversation started drifting towards Indian mythology…..how knowledgeable people were in olden days…Nalanda…Taksheela etc.Interesting conversation….till sometime I was not paying attention but when I saw the middle aged person so much involved in the talk I couldn’t help but listen.
Meanwhile, the kid’s father wanted to take some rest so he was trying his best to lull his kid to go to sleep…..but the kid showed no signs of the same.So, this middle aged person offered a helping hand saying that he cud take care of his son for sometime.But the father seemed to be apprehensive abt the idea….seeing the father I cud recollect this sentence “Beware!! There is a BIG BAD World outside”.And obviously we can’t really trust a stranger to take care of our kid.
Finally the kid went to sleep after a lot of coaxing and the father got some time to take rest.Our middle aged man continued with his conversation of Indian mythology.The talk drifted to Indian culture…..Indians, the family bonadage, emotions etc etc.The talk was nothing new to our ears…day in and day out we keep cursing the western culture and praising the Indian culture and keep trying to look for pros and cons of both but the sheer way in which this middle aged person was speaking was very captivating.It didn’t seem as if he was talking superficially but it came straight from his heart.And some people are so talented that the moment they speak their speech demands all ur attention and respect.While we were all involved in the conversation the kid who was sleeping on the top berth started moving towards the edge of the berth and was about to fall.The middle aged person noticed it and in a split second both my father and he were at the Kid’s rescue.The commotion woke up the kid’s father and he brought the kid down.A stranger whom initially the kid’s father was apprehensive abt giving his kid for some time subconsciously was always taking care of his kid when he was taking rest.
By then we had reached our destination and we had to get down.It is then that I realised tht 12 hrs of journey didn’t seem like an ordeal as I had imagined it to be……thanks to this person.He made sure that all the people in the compartment speak and share their experiences….which wud have probably not happened if not for him.Finally when we were leaving the middle aged person called me to his side and gave me a sweet telling that it was the custom on their side that if someone is going for an interview or an exam they should be fed with sweet for good luck.This gesture of his left me spellbound and thinking …….Was he really just another stranger whom we met in the train!!
Next day the interview process began with all the formalities to be carried out before it commenced and all.What touched me the most here was to see that we students were all helping each other out with the process….disclosing the questions that were asked to each other in the interview…disclosing the topic of GD to other groups and all.Weren’t we all strangers !!And we all very well knew that we were all competing with each other.The words of the middle aged person in the train that ‘its in our culture to consider everyone as one family’ flashed in my head.Probably consciously or subconsciously we too try belonging to this family and try building a family around us wherever we go….just that we are too occupied to realise it!!
So is it true to believe that there is a BIG BAD World outside then!! Whatever the answer to this but this trip of mine is surely going to be memorable.

My Frens At Work Place

2006-09-22T18:35:00.000+05:30

The first day I joined my Job I was under the impression as anyone else that finding close frens at workplace would be like dreaming of having a cup of coffee with the CEO of the company(although I guess Karan Johar would be a better substitute!).On the first day of my training I realised tht I was the only one from my college who has been assigned to my training batch….Gawd! I thought there were seven hundred of them from my college who were recruited along with me in the same organization and here I am left alone with these strangers…and whosoever said that the world was a small place must be complete nuts!!So, I started my training with a feeling that I have been completely stranded in a marooned island with lots of aliens around!!
Forty days of training passed by in a ziffy and at the end of it I had got to know just abt a handful of people.We went around together to places which I had just heard of and never discovered although, I claimed to be from the same city considering that my parents had shifted there sometime back.We had a good time pulling each other’s legs and discussing abt our college days and going senti over them….and the 40 days of training got over and I discovered that all those people whom I had got to know or rather was beginning to know have been posted at a different place altogether.So the usual parting happened with promises made to keep in touch through mails (i.e fwded mails included !!) and the goodbyes and take cares and all.And now I was back among a new set of people (aliens is a better word I guess)!!
I was put into a project along with three of my training batchmates whose names I took sometime to figure out….now ofcourse I cudn’t have said “Hi there!I don’t remember ur name…wht’s ur name” considering the fact that we had spent 40 days of training together and I was expected to know all of their names unless I was in a state of amnesia or something of that kind.But, probably that’s the biggest short-coming in me..I just can’t map people’s names to their faces unless I really get to interact with them for quite some time say a week or so.I don’t know but God seems to have bestowed me with the least memory ever possible…..probably when he was distributing memory to everyone I was standing at the very end of the queue and the stock got over just when my turn came.
The initial days just went with hellos in the morn and byes in the evening….and we were being ultra formal with each other.I just used to sit back and remember my days of fun in college and wished I had never passed out …just flunked in all those courses and stayed with my frens!Days converted into months and then into years and then it dawned upon me one day when one of my training batchmate came up to me and announced abt his long term Onsite assignment.I then realised that I did make frens in the workplace afterall…frens who had started off formally but had come quite a long way since then.…although just a handful of them but they were nevertheless there to laugh and giggle with, to play pranks on each other like we made one of them have gobi Manchuria convincing him that it was Shanghai diced Chicken,to share funny things abt urself like one of them is scared of ghosts and messaged at 3 A.M in the night when he was alone in his apartment to say that he can hear lots of strange noises around and is not able to sleep and the other had a problem in having the flow and remembering the right words while speaking and is doubtful if he will ever be able to remember the words “help me” and speak them out at one go if he’s being robbed.We even know each other’s bank balances(just short of knowing the credit card details), we pestered and bugged the one who’s bank balance is negative to treat all of us and took pride in making it more negative,we take motivation from each other for things like giving up preparation for CAT or for applying for a loan and purchasing a bike and joining in the negative balance avhiever’s list,we fight for that one single chocolate which one of them would have managed to secure from someone who had come from abroad in the account and get down to breaking them into equal pieces such that u can only imagine and be happy that u had a share although the taste buds failed to register the minute piece’s taste,we get a warm invitation to the house only to find that u had to wake up the half dressed hosts by bangs on the door and end up having a huge argument as to why it is necessary to take bath on holidays also,we are very sweetly served with daal , rice and egg bhujia(which on usual circumstances at home needed a lot of coaxing and spanking from ur mother to eat them….but was relished on that day like they were some awesome dishes served in some seven star hotel) by those who had never stepped into the kitchen before and who never had the knowledge as to which side the regulator knob of the gas needs to be turned for lighting the stove,filled up each other’s appraisal without even having a clue as to what the other person had worked on,advice each other on where we need to invest money to make savings and get tax exemption without having the faintest ideas abt the schemes and tax policies,watch movies like “krish” together and teased one of them for becoming over-excited when Hrithik was seen giving his heroic stunts to save a circus of fire, imitate each other’s accent and laugh over other’s stupidity and concocted stories till u have stomach ache,momentarily burst of anger and irritation when people are having fun at ur expense,took secret videos when two of them are having a heated argument and making them listen later to their insanity,going crazy over newly bough electronic gadgets and making a display of the madness at any given moment,gossip over each other’s supervisor and discuss on politics at work place and even make secret plans to bombard the organization after shooting all ur module leads,managers and account leads,while away time by cursing every single person at ur work-place over tea breaks,talk insanely abt muddled up plans for ur future,give corn treats to each other not to talk of the dairy milk,samosa,good day and hazar other treats which when looked at might seem insignificant but hold more value than a treat in Taj.And not to forget the whole lot of fwded mails that we keep sending to each other calling each other monkeys and substituting names for characters in the sardar jokes.
Like everyone else I too had a notion that frens end with college days and the word just stays in ur dictionary as a sweet remembrance of the days u spent with them in college.But I have been proved wrong, u can have frens at work place too…frens who seem to be on the surface but are equivalent to ur close frens any day.Frens whose acts u remember and laugh at in ur leisure time…and make people think u need to be admitted in a mental hospital soon.Frens who can be as close to as ur own siblings.And the most ironical thing is it is these frens infront of whom u keep narrating those unending episodes abt ur close frens of school and college and when u go back home the only people you talk abt in ur house is them.The only difference that is there now is that the probability of that sweet or sad partition is high with ur frens that u make at ur work place.U get up one fine day go with all smiles to office and hear that one of them is leaving the organization or that one of them has got an assignment abroad etc and u just have to be happy for them and for the opportunities they have managed to get.U are kind of prepared for the inevitable and u know that they might not even keep in touch later because there would be more responsibilities as time progresses and thousands of priorities in life to deal with.Although with college frens u knew that u had to part one day but u also knew that u all would be leaving and going on different ways simultaneously. So probably that made the pain of parting a lot easier.
Frens at ur work place are like a part of ur everyday life…u live ur professional life with them keeping them miles away from ur personal life but just like how u don’t realise when ur personal life has transformed into ur professional life in the same way u never realise when these professional frens of urs have ventured into ur personal life and become a part of it.U feel sad when u have to part from them but u have to tell urself that this had to happen one day anyways and u just got to move on and probably as time passes more and more such professional frens cum close frens will keep adding on to the list and ur memories too.Looks like God needs to bless me with a little more of memory otherwise it would be difficult for me.Now, most of my good frens are leaving for their onsite assignment….may they be successful .And hope all my other frens also find good opportunities by and by and make announcements abt their farewell treats(prime interest!).And if at all our paths ever cross again(i.e if the person who bragged abt world being a small place is not nuts afterall) hope that my memory just clicks and when I give a find on my memory its able to match the right name to the right face!!

Was it all worth it !!

2006-09-21T16:20:00.000+05:30

This is my second yr into my job.And I thot may be I can share a few of my experiences of my one yr of job.Like every other engineer under the sun I too was very excited when I made a job in a software company.I still remember that night when I had made two two jobs in two software companies and was feeling as if I was on the top of the world.I had even secretly patted myself thinking that finally all my 21 yrs of back-breaking and striving hard for those 0.5 marks and 1 mark had yielded fruits that I can cherish.
My joining date was pretty soon and then started my training.Forty days of training and things seem to be flying right over my head….all of a sudden I had a strange feeling if I have got into some kind of amnesia or what.It took some time for the realisation to dawn upon me that I was completely illiterate in this software world….obviously with a degree in a non-IT field I couldn’t have expected better.For once clearing the assessment test at the end of training looked like a matter of life and death….what with life threatening statements like u will be thrown out of the company if u don’t clear the test and all.And they thot we were some 20th century robots or aliens(thanks to “Koi Mil Gaya”) who had that miraculous power of grasping a whole lot of “technologies” in a span of 40 days.Here there were people like me who didn’t even have the knowledge of working with an Excel sheet or a word document….for that matter even discovering the various parts of computer seemed an accomplishment forget abt mastering technologies.
But surprisingly when the D-day of the test arrived everything seemed to go so smooth that it gave u one of those strange feelings….by any chance is this the calm before the storm.And yes, so it was.The monsters of the organisation seemed to transform into angels and decrease the cut off percentage to 70% from 80%.....bless us!!Little did we know that everything is fake.Even if u happen to score –ve in the assessment they were not going to let go of us….afterall they will again have to take pains of going to colleges and pull out all the bakras and put in efforts of finding who knows how to add two plus two.So there we were, the whole training batch, immaterial of the way we performed in the test we were presumed to have cleared the test and mastered the technologies and put into projects.Now started our journey …..a journey with absolutely no purpose, no destination….just a journey which had no ending and after a few days the beginning also seemed to have faded away!!
We , freshers straight out of college, buzzing with energy and excitement …with all the enthusiasm on earth to make our mark in the world thus put forth our first step in this big corporate world.First few days went in discovering the various nooks and corners of the office….the delicacies of the cafeteria,the intricacies of the video conference rooms,library,places of recreation etc.Then started our phase of project training, getting familiar with work and people ofcourse.And it is then that we realised that all those 40 days of our head banging in the training was a mere time pass… all that we should have been taught during the training period is how to work with word docs,Excel docs and not to forget paint….just u need to master in these “technologies” and you are an expert and most importantly u should know how to speak ….I don’t mean speak as in that which u learnt at the age of 3 or something….I mean speak in such a way as to market urself (in typical corporate lingo).Be very diplomatic(whether u have any other word in ur dictionary or not doesn’t matter as long as u have this one)…put on a false smile even if inside you u have an earnest urge to take a gun and blow ur manager’s head off!!And above all, all those who excel the art of copy paste (ctrl c, ctrl v) take my word…they for sure win the tag of “Software Gods”!!
So all those fears of being able to cope up with the software industry (focussing on the service sector) and the so called “technologies” in ur work place are washed away when u see around u people from some xyz college (a name that makes u think to which era does this college belong to i.e if it ever existed) around you laughing and giggling away to glory and worst of all are your module leads.U see that people having abt 1% of the knowledge that u possess getting opportunities to go abroad or becoming module leads just because they know how to lick their supervisors shoes.U realise that u have ended up at a place where the work that u do does not need a degree at all….it can be done by any tom dick and harry u pick up from the road.U realise that half the time u r totally jobless at ur desk desperately trying to while away ur time by browsing on the net or searching for some e-book or praying earnestly for some fwded mails to pop up in ur inbox just for some timepass and not to drive u crazy of boredom.And the biggest realisation of all is that whenever someone asks u abt ur job henceforth u first tell them the college u have graduated from and then the company u r working in so that they don’t have that typical looks on their faces …oh! this is just another one of those morons who just scrapped through some Victorian era college and ended up in another software company!!And the worst thing abt being from a reputed college is u can’t think of going for further studies to any XYZ college…u need to actually pull up ur socks and go for another episode of back breaking and burning the night candles to do well in the entrance exams and make it in a reputed college which can fill up the space beside ur graduation tag without sounding archaic. Otherwise u have just one another option of looking for jobs on naukri.com unless it gives u a feeling of those typical hindi movies where the hero or heroine goes around hunting for jobs on the road with a file in hand dropping down on the road in the scorching heat wearing some ragged clothes and having a 10rs note in the hand!!So at the end its just one question that remains unanswered….was it worth it??All this hard work, all those days of tension to just get a few marks more,nigh-outs,struggling to make a decent percentage in all those endless and innumerable board exams,putting up ur life to secure a seat in a decent engineering college,all those sacrifices that u made to make ur stand in the college by securing a decent percentage,giving up all those enjoyable moments for those exams,staying away from ur family and near and dear ones for pursuing a degree,spending sleepless nights with the thought that what if u r left alone without a job on hand…..was it all worth it at the end???
This happens to be my very first blog that I am posting and frankly speaking my writing skills in Eng are good enough to confuse people with theirs ….atleast I can take credit for that…so plz put up with it!

Angels in Disguise!!

2006-09-21T16:19:00.000+05:30

I remember the day when I was in 3rd standard and had that lesson on best pals in my English Gulmohar Textbook.That was the day I was taught the literal meaning of “Best Friend”.I still remember how me and my fren , who happened to stay in the same building as mine, signed up a bond for being the best ever frens….bcos that’s what we had thot it meant .We thot we need to sign a declaration stating that we henceforth are to be deemed as best frens.And it all begun with this day…the days of innumerable pranks,stealing money from house for candies,exploring surroundings and especially the neighbourhood for delicacies,discovering how the building’s water tank looks from inside,building doll houses,playing on the window parapet on the 7th floor of the building and being chased by the watchman,climbing trees to get that one guava which seems more precious than diamond also,making secret plans to runaway from home,fighting crazily over Barbie dolls,days when games like lock and key and colour colour were a question of life and death when it boiled down to who should keep the den,exchanging lunch boxes in the school,breaking that one single piece of chocolate into thousands of minute equal pieces such that even an inch here and there will be considered as Pakistan encroaching into India’s border…..and lots and lots of those innocent moments of laughter and only laughter,those tension free days of school, which whenever thot of will always seem like a heavenly dream!!All those moments to which you would like to go back and pause life there…..
Then came days of college where there was a slight transition in the concept of frenship.Frenship now seemed a huge possession….u now own ur fren….someone who is completely ur prized possession.Someone who understands u in and out.Friends at whose door you can knock at 2 A.M in the night and say that u are starving and need food to survive and see next day’s sunrise, friends at whose face u can close the door out of irritation and next day u would hear a knock on the door earnestly trying to wake u up in the morning so that u don’t miss ur morning classes,friends with whom you just break up and don’t talk to for one whole semester and then get back and just say a hi and u would be welcomed back as if it was just one day that had passed without speaking to each other,frens whom you can msg at 3 in the night that you are lost and are just not able to do the coding for the assignment that you need to submit the next day and you would have ur assign ready in ur account the next day waiting for submission,frens who mail you being there in the same campus just bcos u complained that ur inbox was empty,frens infront of whom u can admit that u have butterflies in ur stomach bcos u need to give a presentation tomm and practice saying “gudmorning, I am so and so” infront of the crowd,frens with whom u can laugh over the dumbest movies possible on earth and when every die hard emotional scene turns into a comedy,frens who know in which courses u have flunked and managed to achieve a zero,frens who share with u their secret crushes,frens who have actually seen u with ur hair open ,overflowing toothpaste and in ur night dress right out of bed and would be happy to crown u with miss Chudaeil,who secretly send u roses on valentine’s day and frenship’s day just to see ur curiosity,frens with whom u put night outs for all those gossips and enlightening talks which were considered more informative than the BBC news also,frens with whom u hardly spoke on campus and became ur good pals only after passing out by exchanging mails,frens to whom u send all those fwded mails that really touched you and u know that it will touch them the same way........frens with whom u have laughed , cried, fought , enjoyed and shared all ur moments and celebrated life with.Frens who even now keep giving missed calls at the oddest hrs possible just to make u realise u r remembered,frens who call u back if they feel tht something is wrong at ur end……
Probably even if u feel ur world is complete with a very understanding family…..loving parents and mischievous siblings u still need these little angels to complete ur world.Those angels whom you can call all kinds of weird names ,who are as stupid as you are and who would grow along with you facing all those pitfalls , highs and lows and sail all along with you in the same boat.So, when you are down and dejected and you feel there’s just no one around in the harsh world to comfort you all that you need to do is just look around and there you will find your special world of angels surrounding you and they are always there to make you feel special and cared for.My friends – my world of angels, those special people who I know are always there and all I wish for them is wherever they are just hope they keep smiling and may all the happiness in the world be theirs.